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10am on Saturday Morning
by mj1969 at 9/6/2008 8:37:30 AM
Coffee--Cigs--computer
I dont sleep much,dont know why. If i get to sleep by 2 or 3am I have really done something. My brain wont shut down.It can be exhausting. Then again I have been told that I am exhausting all together! I dont argue this point. I always just say--if you think it is bad out here for you--try being in here w/ me! Oh well, I guess I will sleep when I am dead!
Just had a horrible thought. What if someone read this & thought I was gonna kill myself or no what if someone killed me & made it look like a suicide--then they found this blog & believed it cause I said I was exhausted & would sleep when i was dead. FOR THE RECORD: NOT SUICIDAL & IF I DIE LOOK FOR A KILLER!!
I miss my ex boyfriend! I saw him yesturday--he brought me my mail. He smelled awesome! I told him so! We lived together for 2 yrs. I thought he was the one! (I have thought that 3 other times) Turns out--he isnt! I know this b/c we stopped having sex. I love sex! It is like a drug. When i totally focus all my attention on having sex there isnt anything else in the world but that moment! I wanna be so into it that I have to ask what I said/did. I dont like to be drinking either. I want to be very aware of everything. When the sex stopped I thought Man we are in trouble! He says well you dont wanna do it either you dont make the first move blah, blah, blah! I want you to make me want to do it! Make me so hot I gotta make the first move! Dumb Ass!!!
I met this guy the other day driving down the street. He pulled up beside me & smilled. I smilled back. He drove beside me & waved--I laughed. Next red light he looked at me like he could have me for lunch! It was great! I felt my face flush & heat rush to some of my best spots. I picked up my cell phone to act like I was talking to someone(cause I didnt know what else to do) He is still beside me. We stop at the next light he motions for me to roll my window down. I am thinking ok he is really hot & I wanna roll my window down but it is not lady-like, acceptable, behavior to just talk to someone you dont know especially when you can tell what they have n mind. (women get this behavior from time to time if you "rolled down your window" for every guy that wanted you to--you'd be a worn out skank by the time you were 18.) I broke up w/ my boyfriend 2mos ago! No man in 2mos. I miss the touch, the smell, the everything of a man! Next light we stop--he mouths "you are so hot" " roll down your window" (twirling his finger around in a circle). Then he makes the universal sign for phone & asks "can I call you?" At that moment I think--OK, YUMMY HOT GUY WANTS YOUR PHONE NUMBER WTH IS WRONG W/ YOU? GIVE IT TO HIM!! I'll finish this story later. There is a suprise twist at the end!!
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