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Moms R.I.P but help me from above save ur son now
by eggharborfly at 12/23/2008 7:05:54 PM
Well, I made it to the funeral moms. Had to because your son asked that much of me. It was a beautiful funeral and I am glad I went because it was nice to see how much you were loved. All the police, family, friends, and people being bused in from the County thanking you for your work in the community was just so wonderful to see and know how much you touched us all will never be forgotten.
On the other hand, it was probably the most difficult day in my life yet. Holding Sean while he collapsed when he walked in and saw the casket was horrible. It hit him then that you were truly gone mom. I knew he was in denial, but did not realize how much of a shock he was going to go through. It took several other family members to sit him down and allow it all to sink in. He's hurting badly. Probably worse than I am over Jeff moms.
I tried to leave after the viewing moms. It was too much. He would not let me, but I knew I couldn't handle watching them drop you in the ground. I had no clue what I was about to witness.
Sean carried your casket gracefully with the others mom, but once all the Paul Bearers set you down and walked away, he couldn't move. Sean stayed there frozen over top of you moms. I couldn't do anything. None of us could. He just stared down at you and wouldn't move off the platform. He was in shock, full blown shock and looked white as a ghost. So the priest allowed him to remain and continued service anyways. We had to move him moms. He couldn't stay with you. Then it hit Carvin. It was like a Domino effect with shock hitting everyone consecutively. It was just the worst thing I have had to witness. All I can remember after that moms, was being surrounded by two sweet old people who did everything in their power to stop me from shaking. They did everything in their power to help me get it together as I broke watching your son stand there unwilling to let go and with the reality it was final. We all decided it was best to get him out of there before your son watched them drop you in the ground. I told him it was not you moms. Just your body and that you were already in Heaven watching from above. That you would now be our guardian angel.
Why then did we leave and get slammed into by another car. Have I not been through enough? Has he? Why are we surrounded by death and pain? So, because of you or Jeff watching over us, we were not too badly hurt and went home moms. I brought him here to keep watch over him. Be proud moms; he did the funeral sober. Be proud moms...he wants to quit drinking a 30 pack a day. Yes, the alcohol ruined our relationship and it was ended, but I will still stay and help him moms, you know that!
The day was finally over....I thought!!!
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