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Dearest Redneck Son
by rosesandsmiles at 9/12/2009 1:04:22 PM






I don't know My cousin sends me all these cute emails



Dearest Redneck Son, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down! There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Your Favorite Aunt, Mom


Comments
alabamabelle31



9/12/2009 1:10:21 PM

I've seen that before but I still get a laugh out of it every time I read it.
baltimoregirl52



9/12/2009 1:15:05 PM

::signlol:You promised not to tell our family secrets

jennyann71
9/12/2009 1:19:37 PM


catsmam76
9/12/2009 1:19:43 PM

OMG that is great gotta go I'm fallinf off my chamjhguvy5e

pretty_moonpa
9/12/2009 1:21:40 PM


ctprincess
9/12/2009 1:46:42 PM

Roses!!!! LMAO!!!! You are toooo funny!!! For me personally it is even funnier since I was once living with a Redneck and some of these things applied to him.
bklynbabi



9/12/2009 2:15:36 PM

OMG funnier than a Jeff Foxwerthy joke, still LMAO, never heard that b4, roses you're a riot!!!!!!

newlady2
9/12/2009 3:13:28 PM

Still funny after three years...
joy1954



9/12/2009 5:19:13 PM

Cousin Larry was confused by the new outhouse, because it has two holes. He wanted to know if the one on the left was #1 and one on the right was #2 if you was standing at the door looking in, or if the one on the right was #1 and the one on the left was #2 if you were inside looking at the door. What difference did it make? If he only had to do #1, he wanted to make sure he was at the right hole.

bigmamano7
9/12/2009 5:47:53 PM

Vicki

alrose
9/13/2009 6:56:45 AM

I remember that one too. I got another one kind of like it the other day. If I knew how to do all the blogging, I'd send it. There's one I've got to write out, it's the unniest one I've seen in awhile, but it may be old to some, the way e-mails pass thru our computers! Thanks roses, glad baltimore claimed them!
redinnevada



9/13/2009 6:30:18 PM

y'all are FUNNY!!! I love redneck jokes. Personally, I remember the one about rednecks going camping... am I the only to think that a tent attached to a flatbed trailer and being pulled behind the truck is a darn good idea? I LOVE that idea! As well as attaching your folding chairs and a porta potty to the flatbed too! No time setting up. Who can beat that?