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MY SON'S REPLY TO MY LETTER
by knittinkitten at 12/15/2007 5:53:37 AM
The LETTER TO MY CHILDREN (Blog #3) was a request by,
and published in my local newspaper. My sons reply,
also published in the newspaper, was as follows……..
“My mother has always been a planner. I remember the
“lists” from my early childhood. Not only was every
vacation and major event well planned, but every trip
to the store received just as much foresight. I would
expect nothing less from her in her retirement.
My wife and I are parents of a daughter. Each of us
have professional careers and my mother has proven to
be an invaluable member of our immediate family. We
have had weeks when we wouldn’t have made it without
her. We only hold her to one rule. We require her to
do as much as she can for herself, and do it as best
as she can. Nothing less is acceptable. There are no
free rides. She may find that rule familiar, it was
hers that she applied to my sister and me while we
were growing up. My mother taught us the difference
between “can’t” and “don’t want to.”
I think it is important that aging family members
communicate with their children and others who may
have to provide care. It’s a matter of practicality. I
will do my best to be there for my parents as they
grow older, but I know they understand that my
commitment to my daughter and to my wife will always
be a priority and will sometimes actually conflict
with my commitment to them.
I don’t consider my mother an intrusion into my life.
I consider her a valuable member of my family. I also
realize that as she gets on in years, things may get a
little difficult. But, the positive memory of a
lifetime (and her “lists”), will help us through the
rough parts.
I always have to chuckle a little when I catch myself
saying something to my daughter that my mother said to
me many years ago. I guess that’s what family is all
about.
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