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Not This Time by claudius5 at 10/21/2009 12:38:05 AM I have always been the gracious one, always tried to be the better person, always tried to do what was right, and always tried to be understanding. But there are sometimes, those defining moments, when my heart aches so badly that I want to scream and yell and curse the heavens. Times when I want to say, "Not this time", I don't want to be fair. "Not this time", I don't want to be understanding. "Not this time", I don't want to smile and say everything is going to be ok, that I'll be ok. "Not this time", because we both know we have something special and undefinable that simply can't be put into words. But because we are already in pain. . . . . . I just sadly smile and quietly whisper. . . . . I understand.

Comments
altje	10/21/2009 4:48:27 AM I, too, understand.
goddess56	10/21/2009 5:31:33 AM I know. It hurts all the way around.
msbevzie	10/21/2009 6:17:01 AM As sad as I amthis makes me even sadder! At least those two can still communicate...I think having the door shut in anothers face is even worse, especially someone that I really considered in my own heartto be someone I treasured. For me having the door slammed in my face which has NEVER happened before is like a death that I wasn't told about but found out years later. I guess maybe I NEVER had a true friend in the other person? I LOVEyou both!
aroselver	10/21/2009 7:35:52 AM Like you, I have always been gracious, not necessarily the loser, but always gracious when turning a man down for a 2nd date. Sometimes I just want to get up and walk away. Sometimes I want to tell the guy off. Sometimes I want to scream. But I remain gracious and let the 1st date wind down and let him say it's time to go. When I get home, I gracious send an email saying I didn't think we had much in common. Sometimes I wish I say, not this time!
jennyann71	10/21/2009 9:53:34 AM I know, my heart breaks for you.
bluecougareyes	10/21/2009 11:35:18 AM The one major problem ALMOST ALL people have IS ATTACHMENT to some one or some thing AND your EXPECTATIONS of the out come......... Stay as friends or lovers. But don't be attached to some one !.....Be FREE !.... For much more about relationships. I would advise you to go and read this FORUM: Groups: 50+: How does one tell..... READ ALL and READ ALL THE WAY TO THE LAST POST. This will help you Greatly. Be wise about you chooses, think before acting. Keep a soft heart and keep it open at all times OR no one will be able to reach you !
60classylady	10/22/2009 6:49:03 PM You a too good a person to let your anger get the best of you. You need to let go and move on. I agree with bluecougareyes. You need to keep a soft heart and keep it open at all times or no one will be able to reach you. You will one day find that right person, and if your heart is closed, you will not recognize her. Anger can consume you. Please don't let it do it. I have been in those places and if I had let anger consume me, I would not have taken a chance to meet you. Please you are a good person. You need to start to think of happy things.
claudius5	10/22/2009 7:18:13 PM This has nothing to do with anger, just merely frustrated.
msbevzie	10/23/2009 7:14:18 AM Frustrations can consume us as well...I know your heart is aching BUT you must somehow let this go...I know your pain...