(Continued from People I Hate: Volume 1,000 PART ONE)

One thing I really can't stand, and the first sign a person might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, is when somebody types "ur" instead of "your" or "you're." I mean, really, is it that f**king time consuming to add on an extra two or three letters? People tell me, "But Doug, it's quicker to just type ur." No it's not, you f**king sheep-raping shitbags. To type "ur" means you actually had to take the time to deprogram yourself from typing the correct way and reprogram yourself to type the wrong way. If I were typing a sentence and had to type "your," but opted to write "ur" instead, I'd actually have to stop and think about it. It'd take longer to type "ur" than it would to type it correctly in the first place. I don't understand why a person would ever train themselves to write incorrectly. I can literally type the word "your" in one second, maybe even less. I can't possibly see how, even if you trained yourself to type like a monkey, typing "ur" would be faster than just typing it the right f**king way. Training yourself to do something the wrong way just because it's "faster" is never a recipe for success in life. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Perhaps my single biggest pet peeve is when people capitalize the first letter of every word in a sentence because they're too stupid to understand when a word requires capitalization. Apparently they slept through first grade or something. Here's an example of what I mean:

Hi, My Name Is Idiot And How I Passed First Grade Is A Miracle.

Ever see people who wear shoes that Velcro up instead of having actual laces like normal shoes? Yeah. Whenever I see somebody who capitalizes the first letter of every word in a sentence, Velcro shoes come to mind. Whenever I find people who do this I can't help but ask them why they do it, and they all reply, "It's just a habit," and laugh it off. Um, no, it's not a habit. Nice try, you f**king gremlin. The correct answer would be, "Well, Doug, it's because I'm clearly stupid and didn't pay attention in school."

You ever try capitalizing the first letter of every word in a sentence? If you're actually somewhat smart and know how to write, you'll find that capitalizing the first letter of every single word takes f**king forever. You have to stop and make a point to hit your Shift key or your Caps Lock key. It's definitely not something one would do out of habit. It's something one would do if they either failed English class or suffered some form of blunt force trauma to the head, rendering a portion of their brain useless.

Another thing I can't stand are these swollen rejects who type like "ganstas," yet they've never seen a real ghetto in their life and live in nice communities that are completely void of any gang-related activity. You're not "gangsta," people; you're just f**king stupid. Just because you listen to hip-hop music doesn't make you a "G," get it? If you ever saw a real ghetto you'd probably be laughed at and then beaten and stabbed, then pissed on, and then thrown in a dumpster and left to die.

"Oh, man, I totally love 50 Cent. I can relate to his music, man. I feel him, yo!" No you don't, f**khead. You live with mommy and daddy and drive their Prius and send text messages to your homies from the cell phone your parents foot the bill for. Shut the f**k up and get back to work at McDonalds. If you ever saw a real ghetto you'd probably be scared shitless and cry. Typing like a "gangsta" doesn't make you a "gangsta." That's all there is to it.

On that note, I just ran out of steam and therefore am done venting. An abrupt ending, I know, but it's not like you paid anything to read this and I never claimed it'd be climactic. Oh, and if you get offended by anything I wrote, don't waste your time complaining because I won't give two sun-dried shits. In fact, if you do get offended, it's probably because you're either a frequent user of "ur," you capitalize the first letter of every word in a sentence, or you type like a "gangsta" from the sanctity of mom and dad's house. If any of those things are true, you're probably not somebody I'd want on my f**king friends list anyway so you can go outside and play a nice little game of hide and go f**k yourself.