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how Jeff Goldblum got me caught doing something illegal...
by pennylayne25 at 1/18/2010 8:15:13 AM
even the most careful rule breakers get caught sometimes...
lets face it... everyone got caught smoking by their parents and everyone caught their parents doing it at some point right?
let me just start by saying that I will be referring to the "illegal act" as "passing time"...and don't worry folks... it will prob be legal within the next five years.
and if not, im moving to Canada.
(haha...i would not move to Canada)
(maybe Jamaica...i would probably be bigger than the rest of them... they might make me their queen!) every good writer needs a bad habit right? at least im not a binge drinker like Hemingway or a two packs a day type like Shakespeare...
anyway... i hate hate hate being embarrassed. me and my friend marlena have that in common. its the worst. i mean, i can take it don't get me wrong. and i LOVE being in the spotlight, but being in the spotlight while something terribly humiliating is going on is not on my list of favorite-ist things to do.
So my loathing for embarrassment is just the icing on the cake in the story today because it could have been muuuuuch worse.
Picture this for me and tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing....
I'm watching "The Fly"..
if you don't know that movie i am SORRY FOR YOU. its Jeff goldblum at his peak.
(and sooo fine...till he starts falling apart)
so you know how Jeff goldblum is always playing a sexy scientist of some sort right? (i bet he loved the professor from gilligans island)
well this time he has invented this portal like thing that is intended to be a time machine or something. but he gets in to test it out and didn't know that a little bitty fly slipped off in there with him.
all hell breaks loose (at an oddly slow pace)
but then at one of the high points in the movie where his body is literally depleating in his hands, i believe he was pulling a tooth out the be exact, and i LOVE that sound for some reason...
its SOOO GRUESOME...
I heard a noise in my living room.
i figured it was probably just the cat... or maybe my sister or bre came home...
i figured one of them would come busting through the door in a minute.
and then we would obviously continue "passing time" together...
as per usual.
the point is... i was not ripping my eyes away from the TV at this point... i mean, he is PULLING his own teeth out and doing a fantastic job of freaking out like he should be (couldn't he have at least been nominated people?)
no matter how many times i watch this movie that part always gets me...
uggghhhh... im inspired because im so disgusted!! that's my favorite...
well that and laughter through tears 
(only one of my friends will get that joke unfortunately)
and then I hear something else... something that definitely means someone is home.. a door opens and shuts.
i immediately just assumed it must have been Bre going into her room..
i mean.. who else would have keys to our apartment?
*rolls eyes*
and now for the embarrassing part...
after the Goldblum magnificence is over and we are back to watching Geena Davis cry on the floor I decided to check that out real quick... ya know.. just to say whats up to Bre.
So i open my door with my "passing time" equipment in one hand wearing nothing but an OJ simpson tshirt that says "lady killer" on it...to discover two maintenance men standing nearly toe to toe with me...
awesome...
i look like a white trash hippie that just rolled out of bed... and worse than that... for the first time in my life, i have TWO people staring at me while im in a very uncomfortable position that i cant very well just talk myself out of...
i finally know the shame of a hooker...
*crosses that off the bucket list*
so naturally... i try to hide it first.... unfortunately... the glass equipment hitting a glass table is very conspicuous. lol
and then... also naturally.... i laughed.
fortunately... these two guys just erupted in laughter with me.
i got dressed and we got to talking and apparently this kind of thing happens all the time.
and they told me that technically there is nothing they can do about it anyway... (which i dont know what that means but i was not about to argue with them)
it turned out to be not so awkward but definitely very embarrassing. i mean... how many people can single handedly blame the marvelous acting job done by jeff goldblum for the only time they have ever been caught doing something illegal?
this girl can...
damn you Jeff... damn those magnificent skills!
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