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"It's Not Me, It's You"
by goldstandard215 at 6/6/2010 2:07:02 AM
About two months before I deployed, I set up a date to hit the bar with a lady friend of mine. Now, she has a lot of gay friends so she suggested we go to the local gay club, which I had absolutely no problems with. Believe it or not, I have exactly *no* problems being checked out by a guy, but the minute he steps to me, I have to put him in his place.
We're out at the club, drinking, socializing and having a good time, when this dude comes up to me with this *bangin'* chick on his arm. The three of us get to talking, and she makes it obvious that she plans on f**king the hell out of this dude before the end of the night, but he remains somewhat unenthused about this prospect.
Then, he asks for *my* phone number, so we can 'get together and chill sometimes.' Now I'm thinking, not only have I made it crystal clear during the convo that I'm straight, but he's got this dimepiece that he came with and is obviously leaving with, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. We swap numbers and go on about enjoying the rest of our evening.
Fast forward to 3 AM, about an hour after the club has closed. I am ballz-deep (yes, with a 'z') in the chick I went out with when my phone blows up with a text message. Now, at 3 AM the only people trying to get in touch with me are women who want that good-good, and I'm already, uh, occupied at the moment, so I ignore it. We finish up about an hour later, and I finally check that text. It was that same dude trying to make something happen. I showed it to my friend and we just laid there laughing our asses off until we went to sleep.
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