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CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OUT PLEASE????? NEED ANSWERS!!!! by sunshine71467 at 7/5/2010 10:03:57 AM WHY IS IT PEOPLE ASK FOR HONESTY, TRUTHFULNESS, SINCERITY, BUT WHEN THEY GET IT, THEY CAN NOT HANDLE IT? I am very open, honest, upfront, I do not hide behind anything, do not portray myself as something other then I am......but when I meet someone they CAN NOT HANDLE IT...Why? My pictures (6 months old) an information are current, the words I write are true, I am not perfect by far, have many many faults, but why cant someone in this HUGE world accept another as they are? I have learned through the dating site, not everyone is honest, (the ones I have met are dishonest or can not handle the truth or someone who is being extremely honest and upfront with them), sorry for me there is nothing beyond the fact they lied, why LIE? Why cant everyone accept themselves as who they are, an throw that out there, they may be quite surprised.....people normally accept others for their honesty above all else. The men I am meeting -- Can not handle honesty - In my life I have nothing to hide, I give a 10 minute rule when meeting - if that goes well - then move on to phase two...I believe in when someone ask you a questions then you answer them HONESTLY!!!! And, if by chance that I ask a Damn question -- Damn it I want an answer -- whether its GOOD or BAD.....Maybe its me and I am expecting too much, not sure..... I guess I am from the old school, this dating ERA is beyond me, and any suggestions would so be greatly appreciated. I want the GOOD, the BAD and the UGLY, cause I am totally LOST here, and I really would appreciate it if someone can ANSWER just one of my many questions....One more thing to ponder ---- Everyone you meet in person are you attracted to? I would hope not, but its like that on the site, everyone that writes, expects return letters, but it may be something you wrote, or sometimes it is the picture, some are really old, or not current.....just being honest.......Thanks for all who have read this, I really do appreciate any feedback.......Have a great day!!!!! xoxoxoxo

Comments
rreeccaarr22	7/5/2010 10:09:27 AM sunshine i am with you i am honest and upfront because i really dont care what people think if u dont want me thats your problem not mine gotta be u only way to be
bill1118	7/5/2010 10:51:13 AM Sunshine, I think that some people are preditor daters that use a facade to empower them. Preditor daters are both sexes and it is almost the thrill of the hunt. I agree with your comment on this new era of dating. In today's world I really think the nice people are shrinking being replaced by f.w.b.'s or n.s.a.'s which in those settings truth and honesty take a back seat. I was taught to live my life as an open book my strentghs faults and weaknesses are there and added to when pointed out. There are more blended families than traditionals now and we as a nation (which incedently tops the number charts) have grown to accept it. Those blended families can become stable influences in the children's lives when the mates are honest if you play $5 a day on lottery say so if you have a stash of chocolates say so I know those were probably poor examples but shooting from the hip here. I also think that we've made it too easy to move on to the next partner without really trying t work on relationship. Does nothing except create heartache and bitterness and that trickles down to the kids. Then everyone ladles on the blame. When people aren't honest I'm guessing that the problem is deeper seeded. I have always tried to accept people for all their attributes because that makes them who they are I find that it is seldom returned atleast the ones I've met I get the proverbial you are a really nice guy but... They can't handle nice honest men because they have never experianced it. I have prided myself as a gentleman and would you believe a lot of women don't know how to react just like a lot of men don't know how to accept the graces of a god woman. In the last 20 years between cells,texting,internet and facebook we have morphed into a "well there is someone who looks better" society. Beauty and handsomeness fade over time and you are left with the core of ones existance their integrity,honesty and ultimately their level of love and commitment. Love isn't about how cute or pretty one is its about brushing a snow covered car off or getting tylenol when one is sick. The small acts of kindness and devotion are the mortar from which a solid foundation is built. As an aside I've never experianced that thought I did but, alas it was an illusion because she cheated and lied. Dishonest people are selfess and low self-esteemed creatures who muddy the waters for they nice people trying to wade in. I'm sorry if this appears more prattle than help but, shooting from the hip
pittsburgh12	7/5/2010 11:36:38 AM Sunshine - hello homegirl - from monroeville. All I can say is that People lie to "God" you know they will lie to you. People use the internet to hide and play games because they can play a role - in real life they would not even get the time of day but here they can fake it and play games. That's why it's called the World Wide Web (spider webs do nothing but catch their prey).
sunshine71467	7/5/2010 11:40:17 AM Pittsburgh12 -- You said it all in a NUTSHELL -- WOW -- very perspective of you -- Thank you for taking the time and for helping me understand!!!!!
alchemy68	7/5/2010 12:28:16 PM Sunshine the problem is that we are not honest with ourselves, we look in the mirror and see ourselves as we wish we were and believe it to be the reality and truth. We are all so wrapped in the visual realm that we have no soul for a real heart felt connection. That's my opinion
sunshine71467	7/5/2010 12:34:16 PM Alchemy68 -- And what a wonderful opinion that is.....Thank you for your Honest Answer!!!!
donerget	7/5/2010 6:15:03 PM Wow , Sounds lk u had a REALLY BAD date/meeting!! I can't give u any answer's, cause i see the same thgs!! Well if u figure it all out let me know, or just want 2 chat look me up. GOOD LUCK + take care LTR..
truelyred2	7/5/2010 6:15:35 PM Sunshine, I firmly agree with you. Very few people are honest now a days, and if your one of them, they think there is something wrong with you. Your not going to be attracted to everyone that writes you nor are you going to be attracted to everyone you meet. And I can't just bash the men, their are hundred's of women on here that want money and a dishonest relationship. Take it one step at a time. I like your 10 minute rule. That's very smart. And if people can't handle honesty, you don't need them. Dating sucks for anyone over the age of 25. We can't meet people at bars, don't need alcohlics, the produce aisle is a joke, and church just isn't my cup of tea. So we hang on to these sites hoping we will meet that one in a million. I wish you luck.
rgel52	7/6/2010 12:15:24 PM Well , I'm glad I read this today. I'm wondering why I can make friends , and never make a connection , maybe iI need to step back and take a good look in the mirror.Don't do bars , and not into one night stands , but maybe I set my sights to high .I'm like everybody , I would love to have a beauty queen ,to love for ever , but it aint happening .I've had my profile on here for a couple years , and check it a couple times a week , Yes , Trulyred , still hopin for that one in a million .Good Luck To all of you on your searches , and may God watch over you .
deannas	7/6/2010 3:09:14 PM One thing the internet has given us is the opportunity to find guys when we would otherwise be limited to fix-ups (ugh) and bars. We all know what most guys in bars are looking for, and sometimes women do the same. Would we honestly date someone who thinks they look like Robert Redford (in the old days) but who actually hasn't taken care of themselves over the years? Probably not, so they make up whatever they have to in order to get that first date. Now I like to think that I've gotten pretty good at discerning fake from real, but the truth is that we all get fooled at some point. It wouldn't be any different if you met in person, and in fact, it might be worse. At least online you can get somewhat of an idea what the inside of a guy is like before you meet. If you talk long enough, or ask the right questions, the truth always comes out.
oneawesumseabee	7/8/2010 9:37:16 PM sunshine .. to hell with everyone else .. and just be yourself .. one day you will meet that special someone. and may God bless you ..
44andnotdoneyet	7/9/2010 4:55:23 AM Sunshine,sounds like we've talked to the same men!!!!I don't know why people beat around the bush about who they REALLY are...it's not like it won't come out eventually....It's hard enough at our age to meet someone with morals but to be left to find them here....ugh!I have talked to a few that seem sincere about finding someone but others keep you talking for awhile only to blow you off when it comes to actually meeting....why waste their time and mine?Chemistry is important as well as honesty.....and if the chemistry's not there......move on!Don't take it personal....every pot has a lid....just some are alittle bent!
bengoli	7/9/2010 10:42:44 AM Sunshine-I can feel what your going threw,I was told about this DateHookUp last winter from a friend,and found out that all the dating sites,are the same,One big meat market.I have met a few woman on this site on here and the first meeting,they told me they were married,and wanted a one night stand....Well I'm not looking for a one night stand,so I told them I guess you have a long drive back to where ever you live......I've gotten up walked out the door,and to my truck...I was kinda upset....But what you going to do..I'm 46 and I really don't see anyone knocking down my door......I figure if it happens it happens.....but just don't give up,or put out....til your ready....Sharing your honesty and truthfulness,doesn't mean you have to sleep with them the first night...