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She's not there by blue_iguana at 7/9/2011 11:06:01 AM We don’t always know what we seek. Sometimes we just know when we see it. The one that we want to wake up to each morning; the one whose voice captivates us; the one we long to touch…to kiss; the one we want to spend all our time with. I have met many friends here. They are very encouraging. ‘Keep looking’ they say. ‘She is out there. You’ll find her.’ I thought that I had found her. The initial communication was innocent enough. There were the brief courtesy messages commenting on the activities that we were involved in. We would chat intermittently, exchanging ideas about our friends and life. Then, the messages became more frequent. We would exchange ‘good mornings’ and ‘good nights.' Subsequently, we were chatting regularly. We told each other things that others would not know. The talk became more involved leading to suggestion of intimacy. Sometimes she was silent, as she was living her other life. Those moments were the darkness that she brought light to when we were chatting together. We never, actually met, but I knew she was a beautiful person. She was charming, witty and oh, so sexy! I never, actually saw her (other than a few photos.) But, I had created a vision of exquisite beauty in my minds eye. We never, audibly, spoke to each other. But, I imagined her voice as the sea breeze whispering through the palms here. We never, physically touched. But, I just knew her skin to be smooth as satin and soft as silk, her lips as rose petals! We decided to meet. We planned to spend some time together. It was so exciting making the arrangements! We discussed, daily, what we would do together. We continued to chat online. She was wonderful, and yet not always there. I would think of her constantly when she was away from our dialogue. It was lonely without her there. In the silent moments, I became distracted by a specter. I felt remorseful. So, I decided to reveal my fault to her. When I confessed to her, she quickly retreated. Vanished. Not unlike the spirit that lured me into its trap. I tried to contact her…to plead redemption for the mayhem that I caused. She was unresponsive. Could it be that she, too, is a spirit? Could it be that she is someone that I fabricated in my mind? A dream? Maybe. Who knows? My friends continue to support me. ‘Keep looking’ they say. ‘Don’t give up. She will come back.’ But, no. I am still looking. Maybe there is hope? I don’t know. Have you seen her? Wait! Is that her I see? No. Only a spirit. She's not there.

Comments
sireena	7/9/2011 11:10:28 AM Awww....Mog....I should keep my mouth shut cause I like ya! It will get better.....I just gotta say this though.....you can't miss what you never had....so...yes....it's like a dream...time to wake up babe!
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 11:11:41 AM True. Thanks.
harryofvick	7/9/2011 11:13:24 AM Hey Mog - some times those dreams we wished were true were an illusion and really a semi that missed us so consider yourself lucky -hang in there buddy
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 11:16:03 AM
keithcowboyup	7/9/2011 11:18:09 AM Forgive me for my ignorance ..... but near the end of this I became confused on whether you actually had this happen or if this is a " story " about events that can happen here. If this did happen to you, I'm sorry. It just shows how vulnerable & seeking we single people can be at times. It does hurt. Ive felt the pain. But not disrespectfully here, that is where my two dogs come in. Sometimes they keep me so busy & at other times they are right there showing me the love, that it is easy not to always get sucked into that lonely dimension. If you dont have a pet & you are able to have a pet ...... they can really fill the personal void w/ more unconditional love than you can imagine. & they NEVER judge !!!
southernlady576	7/9/2011 11:20:40 AM Oh,Mog,I have to agree with sireens,because shes telling you right sweetie!
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 11:21:12 AM Thanks for the suggestion keith. I can't.
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 11:22:00 AM Thanks lady.
pattycakes74	7/9/2011 11:27:15 AM time to move on mogg...blogs like this just make matters worse..if they don't want to forgive you,you just have to move on..and where there is no commitment one should not be so angry..jmo
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 11:31:42 AM Thank you Patty.
kisses1959	7/9/2011 11:32:21 AM I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. lol have a great day mogg kisses
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 11:34:42 AM Thank you kisses
kisses1959	7/9/2011 11:53:48 AM “Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”kisses
redfaiery	7/9/2011 11:53:49 AM There ya go Mogg!
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 11:54:53 AM Thanks ladies.
ezgoingru	7/9/2011 1:13:26 PM I HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE SOONCUZ YOU SEEM TO BE A NICE GUY!!!
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 1:20:09 PM Thanks ez. I think so too!
southernlady576	7/9/2011 1:57:42 PM Mog,you are a very sweet guy...cute as a button!..hang in there she will find you!!!
mistyeyes_67	7/9/2011 2:16:55 PM Mog ... you can't make anybody do anything .. you can't bribe them in no way to stay (maybe you can but it want work in the long run) ... Let Go .. if it's meant then it will be ...
zimzane	7/9/2011 2:23:42 PM
karenbunny	7/9/2011 2:33:37 PM You became distracted by a specter? You're spooking me out.
karmicdiva	7/9/2011 2:34:00 PM There have been many I have communicated with but have never met. At the time they filled a need but it was not meant to be anything more. A lesson can be learned from anyone...anywhere...anytime and while it might seem like a dream the experience is real, true and rare.
blue_iguana	7/9/2011 4:03:26 PM Thank you all for your support. I am good. Just needed to voice my thoughts. @ karen...I would explain. But you are unavailable. No disrespect.
madmadame	7/9/2011 4:44:24 PM The thing about mistakes is That we get to learn from them. you will find her... hugs
conflictedgirl	7/12/2011 3:13:06 PM How do you confess your sin, your weakness, your transgression and then still yearn for a person who could not accept you were not, the same as any of the rest of us, flawless?
conflictedgirl	7/12/2011 3:14:15 PM She's probably married and had no intention of meeting you anyway. Or maybe there is more to this that i do not know about, if there are facts unavailable to me then of course I haven't a clue.