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| 6/15/2008 5:48:20 AM |
tell some jokes |
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misbhavin08
Big Rapids, MI
age: 26
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What's the difference between a hooker and drug dealer?
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| 6/15/2008 11:42:34 AM |
tell some jokes |
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twistyy
Las Vegas, NV
age: 44
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Ok.. I'll bite and go first:
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,"
she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright. I'll be fine in a few minutes,"
he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together in his groin.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him
"How does that feel?"
He replied
"It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell." 
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| 6/18/2008 5:14:10 AM |
tell some jokes |
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bunchesoffun
Greenville, OH
age: 24 online now!
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All right here's one I've heard
President Bush and Vice President Cheney are at a fancy restaurant on the French Riviera. Their waitress comes over, keep in mind she is very attractive, to take their order. She looks at VP Cheney and says what can I get you today, he orders his food, she then goes to President Bush asks what she can get him today, He says I want a quickie, VP Cheney says horrified Mr. President, its pronounced quiche, not quickie, to that President Bush says I know that but didn't you notice that our waitress was HOTTTTT.
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| 6/18/2008 5:16:02 AM |
tell some jokes |
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nickhenderson
Wahoo, NE
age: 26
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| 6/18/2008 5:18:01 AM |
tell some jokes |
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bunchesoffun
Greenville, OH
age: 24 online now!
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Here's another
A deaf man and his hearing wife go on a trip, they pull into a hotel, the man falls asleep instantly, well his wife goes out to the vending machine outside near the pool, she forgets the key and can't remmy the room number, so she goes to the car and opens the door and proceeds to honk the horn several times. How did she find her room? She waited til she saw the room where the lights didn't turn on.
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| 6/19/2008 11:58:09 AM |
tell some jokes |
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caley8s
Underwood, IA
age: 21
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A teacher a garbage man and a lawyer were all killed when their bus was hit by a train. They were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter walked up and told them that to get into heaven they would have to answer one question correctly. The teacher was first and Peter said to him On April 14, 1912 a ship sank into the ocean killing many what was that ship? The teacher was quick to reply "The Titanic" and he was admitted. The garbage man was next, Now St. Peter and Jesus had both been troubled by the recent buildup of garbage in heaven and so he felt that he should give this man only a slightly more difficult question. He asked the man how many died on the ship? Since a movie had been made and the garbage man had just seen it he confidently announced that approximately 1500 people died on the ship. The garbage man then happily walked through the gate. Then Peter turned to the lawyer and said "name them."
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| 6/21/2008 10:16:59 AM |
tell some jokes |
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misbhavin08
Big Rapids, MI
age: 26
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Here's another
A deaf man and his hearing wife go on a trip, they pull into a hotel, the man falls asleep instantly, well his wife goes out to the vending machine outside near the pool, she forgets the key and can't remmy the room number, so she goes to the car and opens the door and proceeds to honk the horn several times. How did she find her room? She waited til she saw the room where the lights didn't turn on.
omg if i wasnt almost completely deaf i would laugh at this.. but it did make me chuckle.. lol thanks for the laugh
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| 6/21/2008 9:00:20 PM |
tell some jokes |
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davids07
Princeton, LA
age: 50
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WHERE DO RED-HEADED BABIES COME FROM?????
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!'
'Nonsense,' the doctor said'.
'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.'
'It isn't possible,' the man insisted.'????? ?'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? '
The man seemed a bit ashamed . 'I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.'
'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.
'It's rust.'
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| 6/22/2008 2:47:17 AM |
tell some jokes |
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bevyea
Sanger, TX
age: 55
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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book,
and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like
that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, 'I am the
Father of many.'
The boy said, 'My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren
and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of
hundreds', and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned
over and said, 'Maybe you should wear a condom and put your
pants on backwards instead of your collar.'
Bev
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| 6/22/2008 3:00:26 AM |
tell some jokes |
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bevyea
Sanger, TX
age: 55
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7 kinds of sex
Drop & Roll Sex.. This kind of sex happens when you first meet and you have sex until you are blue in the face
Kitchen Sex..This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen
Bedroom Sex..you have been with your partner for a long time and you're to a point that you usually only have sex in the bedroom
Hallway Sex..you have been with your partner for too long when you pass each other in the hall you both say "screw you"
Religious Sex..which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. Seems to be the most popular too !
Courtroom Sex..when you can't stand each other any more, you go to court and screw each other in front of everyone
Last but not least....drum roll please!
Social Security Sex..you get a little each month but not enough to emjoy yourself
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