| 7/27/2008 8:32:45 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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carrie52088
Twin Falls, ID
age: 20
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Hey people....
So I have recently met someone that is completely AMAZING! He is the best
person I have met in a VERY long time. His intelligence extends mine. />
Yet I find myself falling for him but not wanting to. I find myself just
pushing him away when really all I want is him closer. I really don't
understand why I do this. I don't understand what I could possibly be so
afraid of...why do I try to push people I care about away when I start
caring about them?! It is a very frustrating thing for me. And all I do is
try to find excuses when in reality I really know that I don't have any! I
try to blame it on everything else because I really don't understand why I
do it or where it comes from! It is getting worse and I need some serious
help before I ruin more relationships than I want to!
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| 7/27/2008 8:38:36 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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gritziam
Shallotte, NC
age: 34
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HHMMMM,uuummmm,you got chicken legs.What I mean is you might be affraid to be honest.Look deep and find out why.Im not DrPhill but thats waht I see.you got to figure out what you want.period!!! 
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| 7/27/2008 8:44:32 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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gar67
Dingla
Nepal
age: 89
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No professional here but did you witness a relationship fail miserably ??
Commitment issues generally come from a reliable source. 
Sorry I know it's not funny, I recommend you take the previous posters advice and look withing to see whats scaring you out of relationships.
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| 7/27/2008 8:50:41 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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mjkittredge
Nashua, NH
age: 27
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I think we're all afraid somewhat of being hurt. OP, what you're describing is your defense mechanism. You may, in your past, have had someone you got close to, hurt you, and this experience had a profound effect on you.
At least you have the presence of mind to realize what you are doing, and that it is a problem. Now you need to change your actions, and go against your push-away impulses, in order to get what you want. Easier said than done, I know.
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| 7/27/2008 8:51:18 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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craftygirl002
Tacoma, WA
age: 40
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It's great that you recognize what you're doing. A good counselor could help you sort that out.
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| 7/27/2008 9:08:45 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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operator1983
Philadelphia, PA
age: 25
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You young chicks got a lot to learn, yo!
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| 7/27/2008 9:34:12 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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carrie52088
Twin Falls, ID
age: 20
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huh huh huh
[Edited 7/27/2008 9:37:56 PM]
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| 7/27/2008 9:36:49 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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carrie52088
Twin Falls, ID
age: 20
|
I know that I have had trust issues from the beginning...thanks to my father for that one.
I tell him what I am doing...and I am completely honest about it. I warned him when we first met that this would happen. I just want to learn how to control it how I am going to learn to not let it control my actions and realize what I am doing before acting on it! I hate that I push people away because it makes everything more complicated than it should be!
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| 7/27/2008 9:37:11 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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fredricko
Pico Rivera, CA
age: 49
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commitment phobic
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| 7/27/2008 9:47:50 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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lobo_corazon
Kingston, ON
age: 39
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You just need practice. Hang out with guys, get to know how we think, and get comfortable with us.
In the meantime, build a solid foundation of independant strength. Get your school stuff taken care of, and start a career.
When you have that all taken care of, you won't be all confused about relationships because you will have learned what you really need from one to be happy. And you'll be woman enough to reach out and grab it!
Best of luck in your journeys... 
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| 7/27/2008 9:52:33 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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lobo_corazon
Kingston, ON
age: 39
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I just want to learn how to control it how I am going to learn to not let it control my actions and realize what I am doing before acting on it!
Practice! 
And try to resist the urge to get all wrapped up in long-term plans for any one guy, however dreamy he may seem. Sample at the buffet for a while and take the time to experience the good and bad things different guys bring to the table.
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| 7/27/2008 10:13:10 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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becky38socalif
Joshua Tree, CA
age: 38
|
Hey people....
So I have recently met someone that is completely AMAZING! He is the best
person I have met in a VERY long time. His intelligence extends mine. />
Yet I find myself falling for him but not wanting to. I find myself just
pushing him away when really all I want is him closer. I really don't
understand why I do this. I don't understand what I could possibly be so
afraid of...why do I try to push people I care about away when I start
caring about them?! It is a very frustrating thing for me. And all I do is
try to find excuses when in reality I really know that I don't have any! I
try to blame it on everything else because I really don't understand why I
do it or where it comes from! It is getting worse and I need some serious
help before I ruin more relationships than I want to!
yeah i hear you on that .....i had/have the same problem ....what you are afraid of is getting hurt again plain and simple .....for me ...when i would push away people away ..it was a defence mech ......if i care about em ..that just means they will hurt me all the more .....if you been deeply hurt like i was (in childhood) ..it becomes a natural reaction if someone gets close enough (breaking threw your emotional walls) to push them away .....
its like you have a battle within yourself .......one part of you wants to be close to someone ...wants to fall in love ......to maintain a close bond with someone you care about .........and then there is another part of you ...that wants to shut everyone out that could possibly "hurt" you again ....... at least i have found that to be true with me ..........
you might need to see a therpist to help you .....you might have some unresolved pain or anger .....that is holding you back from allowing yourself from any real chance at happiness ........
i wish you all the best .....you deserve to be happy
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| 7/27/2008 10:34:13 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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4bars_azchick
Mesa, AZ
age: 19
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just take chances... screw the past... past was then this is now the present... you will get no where in life pushing people away.. then again its ur decision to grow old ALONE...
Good Luck
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| 7/27/2008 10:37:44 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
age: 60
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For the love of Mike--you are only 20 years old--live it up and have fun--see the world around you and enjoy yourself. Then worry about a mate.Go out and satisfy yourself--buy some nice stuff and live it up a little.---do some things that will be memories in later life. A month of Mister perfect and you'll be bored to tears.
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| 7/27/2008 10:38:35 PM |
Why do I push people away? |
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4bars_azchick
Mesa, AZ
age: 19
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For the love of Mike--you are only 20 years old--live it up and have fun--see the world around you and enjoy yourself. Then worry about a mate.Go out and satisfy yourself--buy some nice stuff and live it up a little.---do some things that will be memories in later life. A month of Mister perfect and you'll be bored to tears.
what he is saying is.. dont get to tied down an serious... get a B.O.B
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