| 9/17/2008 10:14:12 AM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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dale48
Mesa, AZ
age: 60
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Most of your profiles have references about wanting an honest man, but when a man is honest with you and it's something you don't agree with, how do you respond?
Blow him off without so much as a goodbye?
Ignore him?
Appreciate the honesty and tell him so, but say goodbye?
Give him credit for being honest and try to reconcile the disagreement?
The second part is, without positive reinforcement, how long to you expect men to stay honest?
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| 9/17/2008 11:30:49 AM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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plb1947
Tucson, AZ
age: 61
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Dale, I can only speak for myself and I personally have no tolerance for liers....when I say I want honesty in a profile I mean starting with the little things and apparently unimportant to many daters. Don't "profile" to get the opposite sex's attention..."Profile" to show the real you, because all unvales once you meet in person. If you have been dishonest about height..weight..age..photo..job statis..marital statis..relationship statis to mention a few. I personally have no interest in a follow up meeting or date and I don't care how nice a guy you are...to me you are a lier.
By the way...when a guy is honest with me, I always tell him I find him a "breath of fresh air" and thank him for being straight up with me.
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| 9/17/2008 12:22:48 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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dale48
Mesa, AZ
age: 60
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Then you are the exception, not the rule. I would not be dishonest, no matter the consequences, but I can understand why some men resort to dishonesty.
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| 9/17/2008 12:36:51 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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aliveankickinto
Tucson, AZ
age: 77
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Dale
Honesty is very important. You can't build any kind of a relationship on lies.
Once someone lies to me, that is the end. Because how do you know if anything he has said was true.
Hang in there and be your honest self. It will pay off in the end.
Good Luck 
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| 9/17/2008 3:55:13 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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babydoll521
Phoenix, AZ
age: 57
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A[SMILING]WHOLE LOTITS THE GLUE TO AN EXTREMELY GOOD LOVING RELATIONSHIP.I KNOW MY GUY IS NEAR....COME OUT COME OUT WHERE EVER YOU ARE  LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED
[Edited 9/17/2008 3:55:56 PM]
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| 9/19/2008 10:55:32 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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weatherwench
Tucson, AZ
age: 39
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Honesty is super important to me. to mislead or misrepresent only sparks distrust and to start a relationship on that structure only make for an unstable foundation and an ineviatable collapse in the relationship.
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| 9/20/2008 8:35:29 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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beachmermaid50
Chandler, AZ
age: 52
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Maybe you can explain what you mean when you say you can understand why some men resort to dishonesty. Does not make sense to me to be dishonest. And I want honesty, even if the truth is not very positive. Some guys have been quite truthful with me in WHY THEY DO NOT WANT to meet me. In those cases, I would have prefered a simple "no thank you", instead of details.
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| 9/20/2008 10:34:01 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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dale48
Mesa, AZ
age: 60
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Most men who lie, are simply that, a liar and are trying to deceive to get what they want. But then it isn't really JUST men who lie, is it? How many women write profiles that are 100 percent true? Don't most people try to portray themselves in the best possible light, even if that means whitewashing the truth just a little? How about that touched up picture? Or perhaps a picture that was taken a few years back? How many of you have a picture on your profile of you before you put your makeup on and fix your hair? How many of you have a picture on your profile of a scar? How many say how many times they have been married? I know most of you post pics that show you as thin as possible. Do you write a profile that will attract only your perfect match, or do you try to get as much attention as possible and then weed though them? Do you disclose all your dirty little secrets up front?
My guess is probably not. But you insist a man tell you only the truth. One of you mentioned telling the truth about marital status for example. OK, when is it OK to say your single? ONLY when the courts say it's final, or is it OK to say your single when papers are filed? What if for some GOOD reason, you are unable to file for a few months? What then?
The truth isn't always as black and white as we would like to think it is. What degree of deception is acceptable, and what isn't before we are labeled a liar? And more important, how easy it is to judge, before you know the facts. I wonder how many perfectly good men and women have been thrown to the dogs for telling the truth, when the truth isn't black and white.
Just my opinion.
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| 9/21/2008 9:27:58 AM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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az_redsoxguy
Peoria, AZ
age: 45
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One of you mentioned telling the truth about marital status for example. OK, when is it OK to say your single? ONLY when the courts say it's final, or is it OK to say your single when papers are filed? What if for some GOOD reason, you are unable to file for a few months? What then?
The truth isn't always as black and white as we would like to think it is.
I'll take that a step further. Telling women that I'm 45 and never been married automatically equates to: "What's wrong with him" and "How damaged is he" summary judgments. It's apparently preferable among women that a man be divorced three or four times than never married at all.
Where in the rule book does it say that in order to be "qualified" to date in our 40s, a man must have been married at some point in the past, even if it was a loveless dearth of a marriage just to meet someone else's ridiculous quota?
In my case, I've been in love twice. I proposed to both of them. One of them cheated on me, one died. I can't say I'm officially widowed because Robyn died before we could marry. But there have been women on here who have the audacity, carelessness and shallowness to reply with "... AND?!!!!" as though my fiancee dying isn't reason enough.
You want to talk about beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside ...?
Try this test: On your fourth date with a woman from here or after you've been intimate, ask her point blank if you're the only one she's seeing or plans to keep seeing (assuming she's the only one *YOU'RE* seeing). If you get a simple, direct and HONEST answer, I'll buy the next steak dinner.
[Edited 9/21/2008 9:29:52 AM]
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| 9/21/2008 9:52:36 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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pvtline
Tucson, AZ
age: 55
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I think Honesty is very important.. It is the basic line to TRUST. with out honesty how would you be able to every trust. If the honesty > is said to be with other women also, then WEAR A CONDEM, +/or sustain untill you have reached a mutual agreement. If your married, then be honest. Some women don't have any morals + YOU may luck out. 
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| 9/21/2008 11:04:01 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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onlyforyou22
Chandler, AZ
age: 20
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Honesty varies alot based on the stablity of the person. A person who is stable and confident will NEVER take crap from somebody.
They will simply end the relationship and move on END OF STORY.
A person who is insecure will often wait months or years before they find somebody and in some cases when they do, the person turns out to be dishonest.
Instead of moving on they keep finding reasons to stay with that person either because they arn't confident enough to move on or they are seriously depressed and dependent on that person emotionally.
That is my 2 cents.
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| 10/26/2008 3:48:15 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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babydoll521
Phoenix, AZ
age: 57
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Honesty varies alot based on the stablity of the person. A person who is stable and confident will NEVER take crap from somebody.
They will simply end the relationship and move on END OF STORY.
A person who is insecure will often wait months or years before they find somebody and in some cases when they do, the person turns out to be dishonest.
Instead of moving on they keep finding reasons to stay with that person either because they arn't confident enough to move on or they are seriously depressed and dependent on that person emotionally.
That is my 2 cents.
This is sooooo true, a young man with much wisdom....Thank You
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| 10/28/2008 8:07:33 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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sajuarogal
Tucson, AZ
age: 52
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Instead of moving on they keep finding reasons to stay with that person either because they arn't confident enough to move on or they are seriously depressed and dependent on that person emotionally.
That is my 2 cents.
Such insight from such a young man. You are going to make a thinking woman very happy.
As for the subject of honesty, it has to fit the situation. The problem with honesty is not the other person. The problem with honesty is 1) have you taken the time to get to know something about her first? 2)what are you being honest about?, 3)is it appropriate to the situation? 4)is it about something that gets YOU what you want or about something you want for the person you are with? (again is it appropriate?) You might think "when is being honest ever not appropriate?". well, i honestly don't want to hear about your sex life with your ex wife the first time we talk on the phone. I honestly don't want to hear about you the entire hour we are on the phone. I honestly don't want to ask you about yourself and never get asked about me and my life. I honestly don't need to hear anything close to a critique of my profile or my pictures when I hardly know you, unless of course I ask and then it's my problem....on and on you get the picture.
Being honest can be a huge turn on when its reason is that it makes things better for the other person. I honestly know you are sexy in a special way. That's a turn on. I honestly like red underwear....that's debatable ... remember 'when', 'why', is it appropriate for this particular woman? If you can't answer that then you don't know her well enough to be that honest.
gAle
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| 10/28/2008 8:35:50 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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tichr
Youngtown, AZ
age: 54
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Dale,
In my opinion, if there is no honesty...there is no relationship. I would rather know straight up if there is an issue to be talked about rather than find out about it months down the road. I consider myself to be very honest and I expect the same in return. I do not tolerate dishonesty, or as one man explained it.."I just didn't disclose it to you"!!! Needless to say the relationship ended.
Sheila
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| 10/28/2008 11:43:31 PM |
Ladies, how important is honesty to you? |
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rexnine
Mesa, AZ
age: 42
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That's a dangerous question to ask the queens of survival!!
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