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Forums: Groups: Washington Chat: why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?
9/21/2008 11:11:44 AM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

tami2010
Olympia, WA
age: 37

 i am an out standing woman and went on few dates i know i am more
of responsibilty now that i became handi cap thus year yet
they think it seems to me that your more desprate or somthing?
well here to say i am not...
but come guys your true opions honesty always a must.....
9/21/2008 3:20:07 PM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

brashdoc
Chehalis, WA
age: 55

 Thanks for the good question Tami!

It would seem to me one of the issues may be that a man is unsure how to act or handle the situation. A very helpful thing it would seem to me is a good sense of humor. You seem to have a wonderful attitude despite the situation you find yourself in due to your accident. Don't give up girl!!! I have a friend who just had a second heart surgery to replace her old defribulator. Woooooooo Hooooooooo the surgery was a success. I wasn't sure before how to handle activities if it would stress the heart too much (I enjoy hiking, backpacking, etc.) However, that is where good communication comes in and a sense of humor. I also have a friend in Federal Way. He had a stroke and is confined to a wheelchair. He was telling me about his FIRST quest to reach a real store (WalMart) in his wheelchair. He had to cross 6 lanes of traffic in time to beat the traffic lights. He describes his 'adventure' and success and I really enjoyed hearing him describe how that was a wonderful encouragement to him and to press on, to boldly go forward. So you keep us guys accountable there Tami and keep up the good posts! The magnanimous and effervescent Doc

9/21/2008 3:49:30 PM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

raiderdog59
Vancouver, WA
age: 48

 it would be tough how to act as far as wanting to help but not go over board either as far as sex hey we all want but I don't think it would be any differant if there is chemistry there is and never thought you would be hard up at all or easy that is crazy really - its more making it right to me oh well what do I know I am a Raiders fan long day smile
9/26/2008 12:24:35 PM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

aquasoxfan
Everett, WA
age: 54

 I dont see guys being intimidated, I see it as "I dont quite know what to do". Meaning
besides opening the doors or even pushing the wheel chair for the lady what can I do that will not upset her. Im sure Im not the only guy. Dealing with somones' disability can be hard on some, not everyone can handle it. I have a disability, its not something you can see or you may never know. Maury

9/26/2008 7:28:23 PM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

bobsmith5000
Milton, WA
age: 37

 being in a wheel chair is not a problem..... its getin up the stairs... or reachin the top shelf at the store...??? people in wheel chairs are just people like the rest of us...??? just a thought... cliff.... i will see you at the party tami..
9/26/2008 9:37:34 PM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

musenut
Olympia, WA
age: 52

 Intimidated by women in wheelchairs ? Nah. Mostly we don't want to hurt anyone and we aren't real sure how to do that; Especially if there is a lot of loss, or anger, or depression, or drugs, or some combination of the above involved. And trust me, even a totally healthy woman in her 30s... at her peak PMS years... is more than enough of a "hazard" for us poor dumb guys ! LOL

So. Woman. 30s. Wheelchair. OMG. Run for your lives !!!

Ok. Perhaps I exaggerate. But short of a wheelchair sporting a 50 caliber machine gun, thats my story, and I'm sticking to it....

musenut

PS. Hope you get better soon, sweetheart !
9/27/2008 5:33:52 AM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

joe_w
Tacoma, WA
age: 42

 People in general are intimidated by anyone with a handicap. Society and Parents instill this in us. I have seen this first hand. My oldest daughter had a tumor in her eye when she was 3, she has a prosthetic eye now and you can't really tell except in certain light. Everyone that she has ever met loves her to death, when some people have found out that she has a handicap they ran like scared jackrabbits. The rest of them loved her even more and will kill anyone that tries to hurt her or make fun of her.
Being in a wheelchair is much the same but because it is so obvious, people are afraid to take the time to get to know the person in the wheelchair. They truly don't know what they are missing. I have found that disabled people are the funnest to be around, they have an entirely different way of looking at life and it is infectous. You learn how to appreciate life more for every second that you have. My cousin in Germany is a quadroplegic as well as mentally disabled, whenever I am with him he makes me laugh, smile and I never feel that I need to take care of him or do anything any different than with anyone else. He has his own job, house etc,etc. I love every second that he is around and miss him terribly. I feel that the handicapped people are not the ones in the wheelchair or missing a limb or blind but the people that are so narrow minded and feeble minded that they are not willing to get to know these people. This is all of course just my opinion and I hope it will open some peoples minds to giving other PEOPLE a chance to become friends or lovers. Joe
9/27/2008 4:31:52 PM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

wish2bagain
Olympia, WA
age: 58

 I don't think people are intimidated, it is more like being unsure. People tend to view things that are different, as just that different. It is not neccessarily that they are saying, I am not able to deal with this issue, as much could I deal with it. To possibly start a new relationship with you, could be most awkard. Why? There are many reasons. They perhaps like to hike or ski, well someone in a wheel chair, that is most likely not an option. Now I am not saying that there can't be acoomidations made, but for them it might be they feel it would hamper their abilities to do what they most like to do, in the way they like to do it. In a new relationship especially, one thinks about the physical part. Most people I would think would not be comfortable with coming right out and ask about that. It is like the old saying, "ignore the 800# gorilla in the middle of the room". Now, take a couple who have been together for sometime, and something like your situation happens, they have had time together, they have built a bond, in this case you are dealing with a one of lifes hand dealt out.

So, intimidated, NO, unsure YES. What if I say the wrong thing, what if I ask the wrong questions? There is someone for everyone, you just have to find that right someone, he is out there.

Gary
9/27/2008 7:23:37 PM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

chianne1951
Mead, WA
age: 57

 Very well said Joe, not much left to add to that one. Good luck to you Tami. Chi
9/27/2008 8:23:22 PM why are men intemated by women in wheelchairs?  

lifetimeskier
Olympia, WA
age: 47

 Tami is riding to the get together with me...Gonna take her along for some fun...