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Forums: Groups: Military Veterans: Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment
10/3/2008 12:30:59 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

davidml
Coppell, TX
age: 21

 We all have storys about it lets here um.

My girlfriend of almost 3 years cheated on me this deployment, with not one guy, but two...
10/3/2008 2:36:37 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

bikerangel3
Pittsburgh, PA
age: 54

 I know that had to have been incredibly devastating to you ! I see you are in your early 20's and I assume she was also . It seems today that is considered too young for a serious commitment .With the constant pressure your generation is under for instant gratification ( media induced in many ways ) it surely makes it harder for couples to see the long-term goals in life and achieve them .

Give yourself time to be angry and grieve , just do it in a way which harms no one including yourself . Take the time to get to know yourself as a single man again and heal from the heartache her actions caused . At my age I have learned these lessons the hard way more than once ! Concentrate on finding contentment within then you can start to look for another to share yourself with again .

Its good you vented here but don't hold onto the pain or anger as it will poison any furthur relationships you may have . Its just the plain truth what doesn't kill you will make you stronger and hopefully wiser .

Good Luck in Life & Love Salute Angel
10/5/2008 11:44:07 AM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  
rlds
Ogden, UT
age: 49

 Hi, I agree with Angel.....do what she suggested......and you are young but brave to serve our country and we appreciate you so much for your service. As for your ex....better now than later *I know it's not what you want to hear, sorry* so focus on your education and career, and most importantly take your time before committing into another relationship. Good luck, hon. R
10/5/2008 12:04:50 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  
sinatra877
Edgewater, FL
age: 40
Quote from davidml:
We all have storys about it lets here um.

My girlfriend of almost 3 years cheated on me this deployment, with not one guy, but two...


Been there Brother...Twice. It is hard to balance a military career and a steady long term relationship when you're deployed. Some women or men have the inner strength not to do something that is life altering but just as many cannot.

My simple advice too you is;

It's OK to be pissed. Just don't act on it. Acting upon impulsive ideas will cause a lifetime of further grief. It's OK to mourn the death of the relationship. It is a human experience in the most personal way since it is literally the death of an ideal, goal and personal loss. It is like mourning and grieving for a person who has passed. It's OK to do so. Let it out. Work her out of your system and know that she's the one whom cheated on you; twice. She couldn't be strong anymore and looked elsewhere for her "support". Now she needs to deal with the consequences of her actions and she may or may not regret it for the rest of her life. You may want to forgive that person but my advice is that if she's willing to cheat on you twice before...it may be just as easy for her to cheat again and again so drive on with the mission.

Go do your thing. Take the edge off and talk to friends. Oscar Mike Man.
10/7/2008 6:23:57 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
age: 61

 You should be saying--EX girlfriend--end of story. Thanks for your service--don't dwell on the very thing that can be a dangerous distraction and get you and your buds hurt. Stick to the issues at hand. Be strong--stand tall and take care of number one.
10/7/2008 9:21:38 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

justacountrygal
Maspeth, NY
age: 37

 I am so sorry to hear that someone treated you like that... you deserve better. I hope your heart heals quickly.

Thank you for standing up for our way of life!!!!

Much love,
Agnes
10/8/2008 1:15:39 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

theothergman
Michigan, ND
age: 47

 Been there bro. All you can do is press on. Don't allow her to get free reign in your head, you've gotta stay focused on the mission right now. Easier said than done, I know. Trust me, you'll be OK and there will be more women. You've only go one life and don't let the b*tch ruin that one for you. Focus, focus, focus and come home in one piece. All the encouragement doesn't mean a thing unless you've been there, there are a few around here who have.
10/8/2008 5:36:22 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

striker29527
London, KY
age: 46
Quote from theothergman:
Been there bro. All you can do is press on. Don't allow her to get free reign in your head, you've gotta stay focused on the mission right now. Easier said than done, I know. Trust me, you'll be OK and there will be more women. You've only go one life and don't let the b*tch ruin that one for you. Focus, focus, focus and come home in one piece. All the encouragement doesn't mean a thing unless you've been there, there are a few around here who have.




what they both said!
10/10/2008 10:03:39 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

keykeper34
Boise, ID
age: 54 online now!

 It's hard at first when you are deployed and come home to find out your loved one cheated on you. It happened to me too.

I was married for seven years, stationed in Torrejon Spain went TDY to Incirlik Turkey, came home put my b-4 bag down, kissed my son and listened to my neighbor (standing in my living room) describing how my husband made love to her.

It hurt real bad at the time. As each day slowly passed, I began to accept he cheated. So many emotions flooded my mind and heart: trust, friendship, commitment, respect for him.

I kept myself busy and focused on the moment. Raising my son alone was a big adjustment. It got me through.

Years later I saw him and had no feelings for him at all.
10/11/2008 4:30:40 AM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

eagleeyes7
Fort Myers, FL
age: 60

 Sorry to hear, but I've been there too, only in the Nam era.

Girlfriend wanted to marry before I left. I said wait for me, and if I come back, then
we'll see if we both feel the same.

It wasn't a month, and the bum I disliked the most, got her drunk and prego. I got blown up by a mine, and she didn't even visit me in the hospital.

Two more tours in Nam later, after she had another kid by the bum, he left her for a 15 yr. old cutie, and went back to OK with her.

I was SOG of Base Police at CamPen, and all my friends who knew both of us, kept trying to get me to take her back, as she was in pretty sorry financial straits.

I finally went out with her, and later got a place for us. It didn't last, as she got a job in a high class restuarant, and met lots of sports celebrities, and off she went again, so I just moved on, learning my lesson very well.

Hang tough, there are lots of good ladies out there, and when the time is right, you'll find the one who won't run around on you.

Get your education on the New GI BILL, and make something of a career for yourself, then you'll be fighting them off!

Semper Fi~

Eagle
10/11/2008 5:26:48 AM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

newlady2
Goldsboro, NC
age: 71

 Just one other thing to add to the mix,,ok?

AFTER you do yourself some good as in more education, etc,,

Don't go around thinking all the gals are cut from the same cloth, that would be deaming to you as well as the girl you swill eventually get close to.
10/11/2008 6:30:08 AM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

lilguppy2bit
Auburn, WA
age: 53 online now!

 All I can say to you is Thank you for your service and you were cheated on once and if you ever did let her back in the trust you had would NEVER come back. even though you get married and are together for years the trust is gone. go out do something fun and then go back to the business at hand as it is more important at this time. when all is said and done all any of us are telling you is what you already know along with our thanks.
Been there done that, and not going back.
Bettye
10/11/2008 9:14:33 AM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

3crosses
El Paso, TX
age: 51

 My heart goes out to you and Thank You for your service to our country. My Son had that happen to him last deployment, He's now in Iraq on his 3rd and not much older than you. His wife took him for every penny he had in the bank and he had to get advances on his paycheck just to get by. He is divorced from her now and has found a very nice girl and plans to marry in March 2009. Its hard, I know, but its a life lesson and you will be ok. Remember the mission you have and concentrate on that for now, keep your head down and be Safe.

God Speed for a Safe return

"A Soldier's Mom"
10/12/2008 9:47:05 PM Cheating Girlfriend on Deployment  

keykeper34
Boise, ID
age: 54 online now!
Quote from newlady2:
Just one other thing to add to the mix,,ok?

AFTER you do yourself some good as in more education, etc,,

Don't go around thinking all the gals are cut from the same cloth, that would be deaming to you as well as the girl you swill eventually get close to.


I totally agree, we are not all cut from the same cloth.