Makin People Laugh by Brandy

10/8/2008 2:29:51 PM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
rhiannon916 Winston Salem, NC age: 18	So a woman gets in this horrible car crash. Her husband goes to talk to the doctor and the doctor says,"I'm sorry sir, you're wife is busted up pretty bad. She's gonna require constant care and it's gonna be really hard for you. She's paralyzed from the neck down, and won't ever recover, and your insurance will surely not cover her care either." The man breaks down crying because of this, and then the doctor says,"Naaah I'm just f-in with ya, she's dead...... Post your jokes......and anyone in the forsyth county area or surrounding, my yim sn is rhiannon619. and for those that dont know, if you dont have yahoo messenger on your comp but have a yahoo email address, you can log on to your email account and look beside your name, and click 'available' and chat on there. I'll be back on yim in a few. So come on people, everyone's heard at least ONE joke......
10/8/2008 6:07:53 PM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
justlanie Troutman, NC age: 41	OMG That was good . Sorry I dont have one but, I check back
10/9/2008 4:31:49 AM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
rof1944 Marshville, NC age: 63	Does any of this sound familiar? ----------------------------------- Mother: 'Hello?' Daughter: 'Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?' Mother: 'You're going out?' Daughter: 'Yes.' Mother: 'With whom?' Daughter: 'With a friend.' Mother: 'I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.' Daughter: 'MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!' Mother: 'You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.' Daughter: 'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?' Mother: 'I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.' Daughter: 'There are lots of things that you did and I don't.' Mother: 'What are you hinting at? Daughter: 'Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight..' Mother: 'You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?' Daughter: 'MA, its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!' Mother: 'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?' Daughter: 'MOM, He's not a loser.' Mother: 'A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.' Daughter: 'MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?' Mother: 'Poor children with such a mother.' Daughter: 'Such a what?' Mother: 'With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.' Daughter: 'ENOUGH MA!!!' Mother: 'Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!' Daughter: 'Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?' Mother: 'Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately.' Daughter: 'Goodbye, mother.' Mother: 'Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? ' Daughter: 'I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!' Mother: 'If you never go out ...how do you expect to meet anyone?"
10/10/2008 10:06:57 AM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
ted1471 Statesville, NC age: 45	That's funny Rof. I could almost hear the Yiddish accent while reading it!
10/13/2008 5:43:17 PM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
rico1221 Charlotte, NC age: 27	This guy walks into a bar, already smashed from a night of drinking. He asks the bartender for a drink, who reluctantly gives him one since the man is obviously sluring his speech and barely sat in the chair without falling. As soon as he tastes it, he throws up all over the bar counter and himself, and then starts to swear about how his wife at home is going to kill him. The bartender tries to tell him its alright, his wife will get over it. The man explains that his wife is always on his case about drinking on the way home, and he was supposed to be back already, and seeing him with his own vomit all over himself will send her over the edge and probably end his marriage. Well, the bartender asks the man if hes got a $10 bill. The man pulls one out of his wallet, about to hand it to the bartender for the mess. But the bartender tells him to put it into his front shirt pocket, and go home to his wife. "When she begins to ream him about his shirt and the mess," he instructs the man "just pull out the $10 bill from that pocket, and say a man at the bar threw up all over you, and gave you a $10 bill to get it cleaned." The man at the bar thinks this is the best idea ever, so he heads home immediately to try it on his wife. Sure enough, as soon as he gets home, his wife begins nagging him about the mess on his shirt. But, just like he was instructed he pulls out the bill and shows it to her, and relates the story. She retorts that it is a $20 bill, not a $10 and hes full of shit. The drunk man responds, "oh yeah, the guy that threw up on me alsho shat my pantsh."
10/13/2008 9:01:13 PM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
bubbajewel Tabor City, NC age: 57	Dear friends, I just read an article on the dangers of drinking.... Scared the poop out of me. So that's it! After today, no more reading!!!
10/14/2008 2:16:40 AM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
rof1944 Marshville, NC age: 63	I'll drink to that.
10/14/2008 9:00:30 AM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
ruthbuzzi Charlotte, NC age: 40	A guy's driving through the mountains. The weather is fine--crisp fall day, fresh air--so he's got the windows down. He's really enjoying the curvy roads and the fall colors when a car passes him from the opposite direction. A woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!" He yells back, "B****!" He's not going to take abuse from some crazy feminist man-hater! As he comes around the next curve, his car collides with a 500 lb wild boar that's standing in the middle of the road. He's killed instantly. If only you men would learn to listen to us women!
10/14/2008 11:54:51 AM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
rof1944 Marshville, NC age: 63	To quote Homer Simpson..."Doh"
10/14/2008 5:23:50 PM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
bubbajewel Tabor City, NC age: 57	WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME! The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma had a mild stroke, couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi, Grandma, you're look ing good! How a re they treating you?' Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew... 'They won't let me fart.'
10/15/2008 8:28:16 PM	Makin People Laugh by Brandy
bubbajewel Tabor City, NC age: 57	THE HILLBILLY VASECTOMY After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can (COORS), then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.' The Alabamian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.' 'Trust me,' said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count! '1' '2' '3' '4' '5' ( you'll love this...) At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand. This procedure also works in Tennessee , Kentucky , Louisiana , Arkansas , Mississippi , Missouri , West Virginia, and Washington DC.

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