| 10/15/2008 8:42:23 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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cecegal
Columbia, TN
age: 42
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Do you get over past hurts quickly or do you wallow in grief?
What do you do to get over it?
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| 10/15/2008 8:46:39 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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destinyfate
Brainerd, MN
age: 40
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Never wallow...just keep going, staying busy (one less headache to think about now) and focus on YOU and becoming the best YOU that you can Let it actually give you incentive to change or do something that would be appealing. Be glad someone was able to make your heart ache...your human and it's all good.
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| 10/15/2008 8:48:17 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46
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In my little mind, I consider one of the most relevant gages of a person to be their reaction to adversity. I generally fail catastrophically. Most people do. It’s our nature and we aren’t nearly as heroic as novels and plays would have us believe.
We get sad. We get sad because things suck. We think back to encouraging words we’ve heard in the past. We remember scenes from heartfelt movies. We try to take on the persona of that man or woman we think we are supposed to be (that cool one we imagine in the mirror).
But, ya know……we’re the same person; at least in the short term. We slog through it, and it hurts, and hopefully you have people that can help. People help.
My hardest problem comes when I feel sorry for myself (and make no mistake …..I SOOOOO feel sorry for myself at times). My brain is funny. It creates little stories that try to trick me into feeling better.
The best fib it tells is, "Oh, it’s not your fault. He did that or she did. Stupid romantic interest. Stupid boss. Stupid cop. Stupid driver. Stupid other people that made me be in this situation. It couldn’t possibly be anything I did……for I am just, and honest, and good."
Yeah, I know. Only a moron would fall for it, but I find myself in that situation more often than I would like to admit.
Another shifty trick my brain is prone to pull is shifting my mental focus towards all those things which don’t matter a bit. I can really wrap myself up in exactly what I mentioned above…..trying to get to the bottom of the WHY’s. I suppose it’s important to know why you are facing adversity in terms of learning, but that’s a long-term thing. I have more trouble dealing with those pesky short-term things like being sad or angry or scared. It is mentally the equivalent of me playing with matches at the gas pump to start the "blame game" when I am upset (I wonder if that’s just me?).
Anyway, in the short term, things are what they are. If I am suffering over some event and want the suffering to end, then "getting to the bottom of this damn thing" should be done clinically in a calm setting……later…..in an operating room with a scalpel rather than chainsaw in the middle of a prison riot……you get my point.
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| 10/15/2008 8:51:40 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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tellergoodnight
Granbury, TX
age: 56
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Struggle and learn to forgive yourself. It takes two to make the good and the bad.
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| 10/15/2008 8:52:32 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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monaj40
Binghamton, NY
age: 40
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It depends on the relationship...and how it ended. I believe time heals all wounds. And then its up to you whether you want to hold on to the bitterness or not. As for me I take every experience as a lesson learn and not a mistake because thats when we become angry with ourselves and others to blame and that is to much negative energy to waste time over. Life is to short and precious to be holding on to bitterness and strife. Just move on and live life the best way we can.
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| 10/15/2008 8:53:45 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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kennylingus
Windom, MN
age: 47
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The longer you stay bitter the longer it is before you find someone. If it doesn't help you, let it go. I know, easier said than done, but its better than letting it eat you alive and having a shell grow over your heart. Accept that its over, let it go, and find someone you can be happy with. If you're lucky you'll find someone who will take your mind off it completely.
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| 10/15/2008 9:01:07 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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steve_c420
Greenville, NC
age: 29
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i hurt for a few days after a short term relationship, my last long term it took a few monthes for me to get over her. and a few more for me to start looking for someone new. i never wallow, but i do feel like being alone after a breakup.
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| 10/15/2008 9:46:54 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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junkyardhack
Ocala, FL
age: 39
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Way too long.
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| 10/15/2008 9:56:05 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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angelleyess
Middleboro, MA
age: 36
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re:How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ?
Good question and Im sure you will hear everyone tell you that Its not good to feel bitter which is somewhat right.... but its important to let yourself go through the motions, GET ANGRY,BE SAD CRY ALOT. let it out but there is a point when you have to let go and live or it will just weigh you down hun. Its never easy trying to get over someone
ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER THIS QUESTION FOR YOURSELF.
Its different for everyone, some can get over it in a matter of days some it may take years.. you know yourself and the situation best.
for me it took well over a year to completely get over the anger.
Now is a good time to do a self check , reflect on whats really important in your life.
get outside as much as you can and try to keep a journal of how you feel everyday. Go out with friends.. dont let it consume you for too long. It does get better but its up to you to do the footwork.
I wish you the best
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| 10/15/2008 10:00:45 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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clubkid66
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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Long enough to not to it again, short enough to live the rest of your life.
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| 10/15/2008 10:32:28 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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angelleyess
Middleboro, MA
age: 36
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here try listening to this song over and over, it helps
[Edited 10/15/2008 10:32:48 AM PST]
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| 10/15/2008 10:39:24 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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sweetbtsassy
Mentor, OH
age: 43
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 Dont let anger and bitterness run your life! I was told to forgive and forget. I worked alot after my break-up to avoid my feelings, But one day I woke up and said I dont like this feeling and Im done. I live for myself and my kids, our Happiness My Happiness!!
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| 10/15/2008 10:40:17 AM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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indoubt
Beaumont, CA
age: 33
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Like a minute.
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| 10/15/2008 1:07:03 PM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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kitise
Greenwood, SC
age: 30
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u mean like bitter for sex or what? give me a hint?
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| 10/15/2008 1:09:36 PM |
How long do you stay bitter after a breakup ? |
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lizmariebeth
Minneapolis, MN
age: 20
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i jsut realize it wasnt meant to be and God has someone better for me. so i always keep that mindset
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