Am I too picky?

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10/22/2008 10:26:53 PM	Am I too picky?
gingerkid13 Morgantown, WV age: 21 online now!	I wanna hear from guys and gals on this one... My question is: Am I too picky when it comes to dating? Here's some background information: This online dating thing isn't really my thing, but I thought I'd try something new and see what happens. I don't have many friends, as I've moved a lot in the last 3 years, lost contact with peeps from high school etc. I'm settling into this area for a while now and have built my job into a career. I believe/have been told by others that I am kind, caring, trustworthy, loyal, honest, resilient, self-sufficient/independent, funny, can go out with the girls or chill with the guys... and I don't think I'm that horrible on the eyes. I have a temper that doesn't not come out often, and is not damaging when it does. There is the jealousy thing though... Oh! I'm not a psycho b*&ch. I work a good bit so going out to meet new people is not something I do. Sometimes, I think that my standards are too high for what I have to offer... I don't think I'm boring, but I don't take trips to Europe to sigh see or anything. This is what I'm looking for: Personality is key; kind, caring, trustworthy... many of the same qualities as myself. So once a guy is interested, I find myself picky at his flaws, not to his face. I don't compare (I really don't have much to compare to...). He must have a job and/or be in school, preferably not living with parents, drives, has a vehicle... basically, has goals and is working towards them. I can't stand "mama's boys" or lazy bums, as I was never handed anything and have been working since I was 15. So are my standards too high? Am I being to critical/picky? Should I change or allow time to find someone who falls in all the "categories" I have? I know... I'm only 21, but I feel that if I need to change something, doing it now would be easier then waiting 20yrs down the road. I don't feel I "need" anyone, but I like companionship... I've been alone for so long, I would cherish time with a companion.
10/22/2008 10:33:45 PM	Am I too picky?
speak13270 Belton, TX age: 20 online now!	You actually seem like you know what you want. You don't seem picky but more along the lines of wanting someone who is independent. I honestly admit I from what I've read you're pretty cool but I don't live up to your standards sigh In the end though what you really need to think about is that there will be compramises when you find the right person and that no one is perfect. At the same time You can't compramise everything other wise what would be the point of setting standards to begin with. Basicly what I'm saying is it's good to have standards but look for the majority in what you want and not absolutely everything.
10/22/2008 10:35:14 PM	Am I too picky?
katrinasq Mena, AR age: 39	You seem very mature for your age, and that may be a problem because mosy boys your age are, well, boys. You have a lot to offer the right person, and being anything but true to yourself is lying to yourself as well as any potential man in your life. Just be yourself, and everything will eventually fall into place.
10/22/2008 10:40:16 PM	Am I too picky?
benji24fun Rigby, ID age: 37	you are young enough not to settle for less than what you want.
10/22/2008 10:43:44 PM	Am I too picky?
gingerkid13 Morgantown, WV age: 21 online now!	Yeah, speak13270, that is what I'm talking about... I actually had a guy tell me he was intimidated. Just how you said you don't live up to my high expectations, other people tell me that as well. I meet a really cool person, lay everything out on the table (no stringing along) and then he runs! lol I used to not be so upfront, but that didn't work either. So either my way of doing things is wrong/needs adjusted, or I haven't found the right group of men. Finding mature individuals has always been an issue for me too. I am easily attracted to older men, but they mostly want trophy gals, which I obviously am not. Then many guys my age want a party buddy, or don't want a long-term relationship and so on. Then I have men my father/grandfather's age hitting on me and I want to vomit! lol sigh
10/22/2008 10:48:39 PM	Am I too picky?
hotcowgirl4u Martins Ferry, OH age: 47 online now!	Ginger you wrote "Sometimes, I think that my standards are too high for what I have to offer" Hon you banish those kinda thoughts from your head!!!!!!!!! Stick to your guns!
10/22/2008 10:57:02 PM	Am I too picky?
benji24fun Rigby, ID age: 37	keep in mind, and you will learn more later, that there is a certain amount of sacrifice needed to get what you want.. A little less of this to get more of that sort of thing.
10/22/2008 10:59:10 PM	Am I too picky?
hotcowgirl4u Martins Ferry, OH age: 47 online now!	keep in mind, and you will learn more later, that there is a certain amount of sacrifice needed to get what you want.. A little less of this to get more of that sort of thing. _________________________________________________________________________________ You're not impying she should lower her standards to find a man are you???
10/22/2008 11:02:02 PM	Am I too picky?
wyvernlord Chandler, AZ age: 37	It is good to have standards. I have a list of them. About a third are absolute must have deal breakers. Another third are important, but I would compromise on them if most other things were good. And the rest are just wishes of the perfect woman. I do not advertise all my standards, usually only the absolutes. I also see the online dating world in a different light, I figure if I am going to take the time to place an ad for love, then I should try to get the best deal possible. Now if I meet someone in the real world (or even online) in a capacity that does not start out with dating as the goal, I would be more willing to settle for less of my list as I would probably get to know that person and develop feelings for them over time. As for your list of standars, they are fairly mild and normal for many women, but then most men in your age group are rarely in the same state of mind. I have seen woman far more picky then you, and far more ridiculous in what they demand of someone, so do not feel too bad.
10/22/2008 11:07:06 PM	Am I too picky?
benji24fun Rigby, ID age: 37	not at all, it's not lowering your standards to adjust for what you want.
10/22/2008 11:12:41 PM	Am I too picky?
j_man2u Bloomington, IL age: 42	AWESOME.! Good attitude!! Nothing out of the ordinary to me Let fate take it's coarse and have fun in the mean time!! ALWAYS,,,,,,,J MAN
10/22/2008 11:19:22 PM	Am I too picky?
upnorth13 Round Lake, IL age: 44	if u have a temper there will always be jealosy
10/22/2008 11:24:17 PM	Am I too picky?
gingerkid13 Morgantown, WV age: 21 online now!	I don't know too many people who don't have a temper... The jealousy is only cuz I've been cheated on every time.
10/23/2008 12:49:26 AM	Am I too picky?
j_man2u Bloomington, IL age: 42	Quote from gingerkid13: I don't know too many people who don't have a temper... The jealousy is only cuz I've been cheated on every time. If I may add, Think about yourself..... If ya keep picking the same type, you'll get the same results. BE the right person and STOP LOOKING for the right person, They'll find you! Best of luck to you.... J MAN
10/23/2008 6:48:35 AM	Am I too picky?
justgg07 Phoenix, AZ age: 39 online now!	Quote from OP: << I actually had a guy tell me he was intimidated. Just how you said you don't live up to my high expectations, other people tell me that as well. I meet a really cool person, lay everything out on the table (no stringing along) and then he runs! lol >> I think it's great that you have your standards. Just keep in mind that they are YOUR standards. There is not necessarily a need to lay everything on the table. Getting to know someone wouldn't be stringing them along. It may just be giving you the opportunity to maybe see something that you may have missed. JMO

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