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11/3/2008 7:15:31 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

cecegal
Columbia, TN
age: 42


Do you have to be emotionally secure before you venture in the dating jungle?
How do you get there?

11/3/2008 7:20:01 AM Being Secure and Dating.  
arkansasnman
Over 2,000 Posts (2,236)
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46


Define "emotionally secure".

11/3/2008 7:24:25 AM Being Secure and Dating.  
mistymae34
Las Vegas, NV
age: 34


Quote from arkansasnman:
Define "emotionally secure".


Willing to share your feeling with that special someone. Like me

11/3/2008 7:26:24 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

cecegal
Columbia, TN
age: 42


Know how you are feeling and know who you are as a person.

11/3/2008 7:28:41 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

wileyguy
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,664)
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 38 online now!


Quote from arkansasnman:
Define "emotionally secure".


being happy with onesself

if you have to look to others to provide happiness then you arent emotionally secure

11/3/2008 7:32:36 AM Being Secure and Dating.  
arkansasnman
Over 2,000 Posts (2,236)
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46


Quote from cecegal:
Know how you are feeling and know who you are as a person.


That's not easy.....MOST people quote a little Oprah, pat themselves on the back, and bumble along in a fog.

"Knowing yourself" is an painful exercise....which includes admitting denial and justified behaviors we'd rather ignore....

Now, knowing someone like the Lovely Miss MistyMea makes things easier.....insight into one's self helps to understand others.

11/3/2008 7:43:30 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

cecegal
Columbia, TN
age: 42


I'm still patiently waiting for those answers. (PS it's a retorical question)
Courage friends.
"Know Thyself" Socrates "Know thy Enemies" Sun Tzu
These folks lived long before Oprah.

11/3/2008 8:10:56 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

missmmeoftheday
Over 2,000 Posts (3,576)
Brooklyn, NY
age: 43


Getting to know yourself is an ongoing process.... it involves a lot of time and effort, and really is never a completed task, IMO.

Being emotionally secure is having the willingness to start on the journey.

11/3/2008 8:11:03 AM Being Secure and Dating.  
arkansasnman
Over 2,000 Posts (2,236)
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46


Quote from cecegal:
"Know Thyself" Socrates "Know thy Enemies" Sun Tzu
These folks lived long before Oprah.


...and long before syndication.......

11/3/2008 8:12:28 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

missmmeoftheday
Over 2,000 Posts (3,576)
Brooklyn, NY
age: 43


Quote from arkansasnman:
...and long before syndication.......



seriously... can you see Socrates sitting on a couch interviewing Tom Cruise?

11/3/2008 8:19:05 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

awakeing
Over 1,000 Posts (1,451)
Walled Lake, MI
age: 36


I feel the answer is 2 parts. I started by stepping back from dating at all so
that I had time to learn about me. Why did I feel the way I did about certain things
and what was my reactions to all things. Really if you don't know a lot about yourself
what are you offering to a hopeful partner? More than likely you're giving him
the same lost and confusion feeling you have about yourself. This is a big part of
what can cause a relationship to fail. You think he should just know you and you are
in some ways expecting HIM to teach you about you. It really is you, see you are being unfair expecting a man to show you your emotional path.

Part 2 is changing your view on what "dating" means. I too use to think that
dating was about finding "the one". You know the man that has the type of things
you think you want. Is he charming, tall, handsome, likes football, smart or what
ever your list of criteria maybe. The problem is thinking that by sticking with
that kind of list we are then going to make a wise choice on who to date. I have discovered that doing that is a big mistake. That only looks at the outside of a man
and his hobbies as ways of connecting. So I would encourage you to find out what
"dating" IS to you.

I am now at the stage where I feel "dating" is just a process of discovery.
During this discovery I hope to find a man who's mind and heart are open to me.
I've learned what I need, what would make me happy, and what I want in life so now that
I've done all that work for myself there's no more pressure..for me or my future mate.
I'm finally at the point in life where I have more to offer than I ever have. This
should make it easy for him to be in a relationship with me long term and happier
together sharing those things.

So yes, I encourage you in your path of becoming self aware, emotionally intelligent,
and discovering all the good things about you that you have to offer some lucky man.
Nothing wrong with rolling up your sleeves and doing some real personal work, also
nothing wrong with meeting men along the way who help you learn more about you.

Good luck to you.

11/3/2008 8:38:12 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

cecegal
Columbia, TN
age: 42


Quote from missmmeoftheday:
seriously... can you see Socrates sitting on a couch interviewing Tom Cruise?


Actually, he would sit on the steps of the Acropolis and ask his students what they thought about things and why they thought that way. He taught them by getting them to think for themselves. End of the story: He was executed for "corrupting the young."

Education at that time was a "Risky Buisness".



[Edited 11/3/2008 8:39:05 AM PST]

11/3/2008 8:41:59 AM Being Secure and Dating.  
beanz991
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,625)
Houston, TX
age: 41


I don't think you HAVE to be but it helps.

11/3/2008 8:44:50 AM Being Secure and Dating.  

evileddy
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,020)
Ottawa, ON
age: 35


Nah.. you just have to be tall dark and handsome and rich... or skinny big fake boobs and blonde for women.

11/3/2008 8:49:51 AM Being Secure and Dating.  
beanz991
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,625)
Houston, TX
age: 41


Nah.. you just have to be tall dark and handsome and rich... or skinny big fake boobs and blonde for women.

Tall - Check
Dark - Check (ignore the photo its the flash makes me look white)
Handsome - Obviously, Check
Rich - Shit..