| 11/15/2008 3:43:50 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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ladyelizabeth50
Sydney, NS
age: 51
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Let me explain this question. Years ago I knew this man who left his wife when she became sick with a illness after many, many, years of marriage for another woman. I knew another man who was a lawyer and his wife became ill..He left her too. Also many people leave their partners when they are sick with cancer or heart troubles..so on and so on. What are happen to the vows for better or worse,in sickness and health?. I was dating someone in July and when he found out I had breast cancer he was very supportive and loving,two weeks after my sugery he left. Why didn't he walk away the day I told him I had breast cancer, why did he wait until I trust him to be there for me? I saw him only on the weekends and that was to much for him as he had family that also depended on him..single father and not enough time for me and them.
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| 11/15/2008 4:06:44 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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optimystk
Fort Mohave, AZ
age: 48
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Yes and I did to the very end. not because of my vows
Because I loved her.
Some people here always ask what is real Love............
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| 11/15/2008 4:08:06 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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nm_jewel
Las Cruces, NM
age: 56
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It sounds like he stayed and supported you during your surgery to appease his guilt... make himself feel better. It dosen't mean he was a bad person... it simply means he could not deal with an illness and did not feel enough love to stay and tough it out. Illness can be overwhelming.
At our age everyone is going to have health issues. Its going to depend on the level of commitment whether they or you can tough it out. I have things wrong with my health.. and so does my man... We deal with them on a daily basis and carry on. I would rather be with the right man for a short time... than the wrong one for a long time.
Hugs hun.. I hope everthing was resolved with the breast cancer... ~ uterine cancer survivor here~
Jewels
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| 11/15/2008 4:09:05 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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shyoneinfl
Saint Augustine, FL
age: 51
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 Lady,
I am thinking it scared him , alot of people go thru that it sux but it's true.
my oldest daughter has issues of that nature .it started when my father died in a car accident , she got close to my uncle who in turn died in an alcohol related car accident just two years later then she was close to my little brother who shot himself Thanksgiving nite who couldn't get over the death of my dad, he had to identify my dad's body not good for a 22 yr. old but it was two yrs after my uncle's death, so now she's scared to get close to anyone,my mom had a heart attack and open heart surgery , she actually raised my daughter , well my daughter wouldn't go to the hospital cause she feared my mom was gonna die and wouldn't see her till she was home for two weeks so I believe that's why he left . some people just don't know how to handle it ::brickwall: hopefully he will come back.
I support the breast cancer foundation good luck, your in my prayers and keep strong and keep fighting  and your spirits high
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| 11/15/2008 7:02:28 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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nickiename
Las Cruces, NM
age: 38
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Illness can be overwhelming....
So true. We all deal with it differently, and some just don't deal with it at all. I don't think it's even a choice for some, they simply are not equipped. We can't really hold it against them if they just don't have the tools to cope with it. That helps me rationalize with the folks who have cut'n'run around here anyway.
OP - I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of your recovery. I really hope you are doing well now. 
I would absolutely stay with a partner who had health problems. I have the best example in my parents and I want to do my all out best to emulate that if I'm presented with a similar situation. They cared for each other through severe health issues for the last 18 years of Mom's life. Mom did the physical things for Dad that she was able to, and he gave her the mental and emotional support she needed after a brain injury.
Now, I'm Dad's caregiver. So I've seen it with them and I've done it myself and I know what it entails. It's not just the idea of it, or the "in sickness and in health" commitment to me. As mentioned before, it's love. Sincere, genuine, pure love that carries us through the ugliness of it all and makes it a beautiful thing.
[Edited 11/15/2008 7:07:57 AM PST]
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| 11/15/2008 7:07:25 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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wisegirl33
Queensland
Australia
age: 44
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Leaving a relationship, just because the other partner becomes sick or ill, is kind of like saying....you never really cared in the first place. Greatly false.
I would never leave a family member so sick and ill.
Have never been "married", but know that I wouldn't do that to anyone.
wisegirl33 - 16 Nov 08 at 1:11am Aest
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| 11/15/2008 8:02:06 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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pichick712
Brookhaven, PA
age: 50
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I am so sorry he did that to you and am sorry for the other women whose men were not man enough to hang in "in sickness and in health".
Those "men" just truly showed how they were not MEN at all but spineless wimps. They may posses a d*ck but little else. NO integrity, no strength, no balls. it's truly tragic.
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| 11/15/2008 8:02:34 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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fishenguy
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 50
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It's hard to say . However, he might have saw a personality change in you after the surgery and couldn't deal with that. I dated a woman that had breast cancer. It was after she had reconstructive surgery. She was a very pretty woman but no matter what I said she wouldn't believe it. Because of the surgery she never felt good about herself. It wasn't the surgery or the scars that chased me away. It was her attitude.
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| 11/15/2008 8:09:15 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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vari
Chicago, IL
age: 29
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well in my opinion it's not about the vows....
it's about the wrong choice you made from the beginning.... but i don't blame you cuz there's a lot of well jerks out there.... if that was his A** with a a cancer illness he'd now better... but what can i say... A-holes
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| 11/15/2008 8:12:14 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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brujacakes2
Jim Thorpe, PA
age: 37
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I can't even fathom the idea of leaving someone I love because they became ill, isn't that when they need me most?
Everybody loves differently, some people's version of love would allow for this to occur, not mine.
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| 11/15/2008 8:12:37 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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cuteyonduty
Deland, FL
age: 59
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Yes, and I did to the very end and I loved him with all my heart and almost grieved myself to death at his parting. I would do it again. I loved him.
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| 11/15/2008 8:15:43 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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pirana01
Navarre, FL
age: 50
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That is a very common occurance, I don't know why they do it, but my guess is they can't cope and run away. We all have a tendancy to run away from what scares us.
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| 11/15/2008 8:16:16 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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bamadixiegal
Guntersville, AL
age: 39
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yes,especially if we were married,I take vows seriously ,i am sure that other do to,keeps faith alive!
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| 11/15/2008 8:51:28 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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nitecaller
Edmonton, AB
age: 46
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and when those gentelmen took their oath before god they said in SICKNESS & HEALTH TILL DEATH DO WE PART.
they must have forgotten that,it pisses me off why because i have type2 multiple sclerosis now for 20 yrs ive had to learn to except my life we all dont get to pick and choose are lifes path thats just the way it is
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| 11/15/2008 9:19:50 AM |
Would you stay with a person who had health problems |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 61
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When my first husband was going through chemo, I watched and listened to a husband of a cancer patient berate her for walking so slow!!! He followed that up with "I'm hungry, so hurry the hell up!" I wanted to slap him silly. The doctor, who heard the same thing, just shook his head as he came over to my ailing husband and me. First words out of his mouth, directed at my husband, were: "Be glad it's you with the cancer, not Susan. I've seen it time and time again - women tend to their men, but men flee the premises when the Big C comes knocking on their door." I was with my husband until the moment he died, and as a religious ritual that I promised him, I washed his body head to toe to make him clean for G-d. Then I kissed him goodbye and told him to wait for me up there because I miss him so much down here.
My second husband came with many health issues that affected our lives. It started with 2 heart stents, ended with 5 heart stents, pancreatic disease (due to drinking and drugs), Type II Diabetes, ED from all the meds, and alcoholism. It was the alcoholism and verbal/mental abuse that drove me away. He is housebound only because he is always too drunk to drive.
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