| 10/12/2007 1:52:54 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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melbie7769
Grand Junction, CO
age: 29
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So after being on this Site for many many months now i have noticed that people say you can't have feelings for someone unless you meet them in person first!! So my question to this is well What if you have talked consistantly for many months to these people on the forums on the phone on private IM video chat whatever way of communication you found ok does this mean you really don't know the person after several months and any or all feelings you have are invalid cuz of not being able to meet in person PLEASE i really don't understand this at all I guess now is your time to come and call me stupid but i do not recall a thread like this in the many many months i have been here!!! Do some of my friends that talk about finding the one and are in the process of meeting are they wrong are there feelings also invalid??
Sorry but i jus had to say it!!! It may not make since but i do know what i;m trying to say it is hard to type with this many tears welling up in my eyes!!!
Thanks for y'alls time!!
Smooches Melbie
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| 10/12/2007 1:57:20 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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nopretense
Harleysville, PA
age: 46
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I definitely think online relationships are real, and valid, and you can make a very real connection with someone without meeting them.
I totally disagree with those who say online relationships aren't real.
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| 10/12/2007 1:59:30 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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peaches73036
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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Melbie, I'm really sorry that your hurting and upset...All I know is it seems like the longer I'm here the more confused i've become lol...blah!! I think we can care about the ppl we've met here and develope some feelings. but, I don't know about "love" or anything more permenant. I do hope you find what it is you seek.
xoxoPeaches.
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| 10/12/2007 1:59:58 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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nopretense
Harleysville, PA
age: 46
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Usually, saying "it's just the Internet" is just an excuse to be a cruel, insensitive jerk. An excuse to be a coward and to think there are no repercussions when you say something mean-spirited. There are. People get hurt. What is more real than that?
And when people are kind, and supportive, and positive, people feel good...what is more real than that?
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| 10/12/2007 2:01:25 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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lawrence084
Honolulu, HI
age: 40
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If you are asking if you can fall for someone that you never met in person, the answer is "Yes".
I find women can fall for a guy without meeting, because most women don't have looks on the top of their criteria. So a man who can communicate well can capture the heart of a woman. Men on the other hand do have looks very high on the list, But it is possible but a lot less likely to happen.
I hope I answered you question and no you are not "Stupid".
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| 10/12/2007 2:01:42 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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I have been on Yahoo since 95. I have 3 friends on my list that I have chatted to almost on a daily basis since day 1. I worry when they haven't been on for 3-4 days. They worry about me. I have laughed and cried with them. They have done the same for me. I have been there for them through their bad times.. they have been there for me on the holidays when I am alone. We talk on the phone often. These are real people that I chat to. We should not forget that there is a human being on the other side of this screen. YES...You can definitely have feelings for others online
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| 10/12/2007 2:05:59 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
age: 18 online now!
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so lawrence what if after talking for months n months a guy finds that the girl does have 'looks'. does it become serious then?
another thing, i always see that guys r supposed to be more "visual" then women but when im in a crowd there r an awful lot of these "visual" guys with girls that r not exceptionally good looking or in shape either. so maybe like everything else, we can't make the blanket statements.
some people can fall in love without meeting, some people have to meet, some can meet and not fall in love.
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| 10/12/2007 2:06:28 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
age: 18 online now!
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same here, tru!
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| 10/12/2007 2:08:08 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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sgtjunkit
Auburn, WA
age: 53
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all i can say if there not real how did i end up here with lisa (lilly) there real just have to be sure of yourself and the one you give your heart to..
me the old guy that for a long time thought it was over.. don't give up hope been there not fun..
sgtjunkit
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| 10/12/2007 2:12:58 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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angelleyes
Plymouth, MA
age: 34
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its very real hun, follow ur heart but just be careful thats all!!!!!
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| 10/12/2007 2:13:27 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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julymorning07
Saint James, MO
age: 55
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I agree with you Tru. I have experienced the same things myself, though only been online for 10 months.
And if someone wants to carry the negative argument further by saying you really don't know the other person on the "other side of the monitor", if you have never met, and that people can be really good at pretending to be someone whom they are not when they are on line, I say ANYONE can pretend to be someone they are not, even when you have face to face contact with them. Don't we ALL know that is true, or we probably wouldn't be here.
Melbie, ((((hugs)))). Don't cry, have faith, and use the same precautions you would in any situation.
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| 10/12/2007 2:13:53 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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melbie7769
Grand Junction, CO
age: 29
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I appreciate all of you for replying to this!!!
Can't say much more than that right now though!!!
Smooches Melbie
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| 10/12/2007 2:16:14 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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kirota2
Webster City, IA
age: 34
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I think you can fall hard for someone but for me personally I have to meet face to face to see if there is that spark that everyone talks about. I don't think you are stupid for what you feel and what you say. We all have different criteria that makes us fall and some fall easier than others. Keep your head up.
On the other hand. I talked for several months with people that I thought were friends and found the nife in my back one day. I think you can fall for people and get friendships online, but there still has to be something said for looking someone in the eye asking some questions and looking deep within them while they answer. JMO
kirota
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| 10/12/2007 2:16:21 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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castertroy
Howell, NJ
age: 38
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Mel.
You are an intelligent woman
You are also very loving
The truth is that there is no ABSOLUTE truth , what may work for some sometimes does not work for others.
To be honest , i absolutely agree with you when it comes to Video and Phone conversations.
This is after all keeping contact so the feeling is real.
With that being sad , i also believe that we all have a tendency to fantasize about that other person a lot , its just human nature that we would will fill the missing gaps of information with speculation and hope.
Make an informed decision before taking any life changing steps in any direction
Consider your heart , but also your situation in general and if it all seems ok then take the plunge.
Just because you are careful it doesn't mean you don't care , on the contrary it means you have made the right decision , the right way.
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| 10/12/2007 2:21:33 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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nonickname49
Belchertown, MA
age: 57
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Melbie..you are not stupid...feelings can be the same online offline..I believe
you can develop strong feelings for another online and via telephone etc.
Just because you have not met in person does not make it any less real.
I met someone on this site...we spend more time on the telephone a day than I
have ever in my entire life. You can become closer, by the intensity of how
well you connected on an emotional level. In addition what you share with
one another helps in getting to know and appreciate the other person. The
openness of the other can aid in becoming closer to them. I guess the bottom
line is, what you both put forth in your communication determines how close
you can become.
Don't get discouraged...it took me four and half months, to connect with someone
and was worth the wait. Best wishes to you Oh, by the way...no feelings
are invalid...
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| 10/12/2007 2:23:16 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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kentuckygent
Henderson, KY
age: 28
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i have to dissagree not sure if i would hook up with any one on this site only because im not sure what i want right now but i know i have alot of great friends here and thats true feelings so next time some one says that to you mebile tell em to kiss my ass
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| 10/12/2007 2:31:32 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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cashpi
Anchorage, AK
age: 38
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I think it's ok to be looking for friends and just to chat. But if I were looking for a girlfriend, I would have to be extra cautious. The words you see are kind of linear. There is a wealth of information that is not being shared such as tone of voice, body language, how people react in certain situations/people. Even though you can get to know someone on the internet, its only the surface, a thin layer of ice so to speak.
It sounds like you want it to be true and to find 'true love' and I hope you do and are happy. Yet, for me, I would be extra cautious. I appreciate your tears.
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| 10/12/2007 2:40:18 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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lawrence084
Honolulu, HI
age: 40
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Chinatown – I hear you…
But if a guy falls for a woman online and when he meets her in person and finds out he not attracted to her physically he can do a million different things but it won’t be anywhere as exciting emotionally as if he was physically attracted to her. A woman already fallen for the guy, so as long as he in the ball parks on the looks there is no change emotionally. Looks was never an issue to her.
Your comment on guys being with women that aren’t good looking is you idea of what is attractive. To that guy, she might be very attractive. Now who making the blank statement?
Here something you can ponder…Why is every commercial or sitcom has a very attractive women and a less attractive guy. Look at them from now on…You never see a good looking guy with an average looking women. The women always looks a lot better looking than the man. The man on the other hand is very funny, witty, personal, got great character and style.
Why is it..You never see a male model on a women magazine cover. All magazines cater toward women has one of two things. 1. A female model, usually unknown to anyone or a very popular male that is recognized by most people. Why…because women find popular men sexy. It has nothing to do with looks it the popularity that attract women.
One last example...If you ask a bunch of guys "Who do the find attractive?" and the ones that said Jessica Alba...You aks them if they had a choice to be with someone that looked like her or act like her what would they choose? Now if you ask the same question to women but used Bruce Wills, how many would say they would rather be with someone that act like Bruce than looked like Bruce. A lot more than guys choising to be with someone who acted like Jessica...wouldn't you say?
Your turn Chinatown…(smile)
[Edited 10/12/2007 2:55:15 PM]
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| 10/12/2007 2:42:58 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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goodandhard
Garland, TX
age: 32
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well you can find true love anywhere. it doesnt matter where you meet them. i have found true love just ask her
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| 10/12/2007 3:14:12 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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mountainskys
Crestline, CA
age: 39 online now!
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Well, I actually have some experience here.
It`s in the form of a horror story...
About two years ago I met someone online. We spent months chatting and had exchanged pics.
That went on for a year.
All was going well.
Then she flew out to see me and we spent 9 days together. She met my little girl and was good to her. It was great.
All was going well.
A month later, she came out to see me again for 9 days.
All was going well.
A month after her last visit I flew out to see her. We spent a great week together with her and her kids.
Once again, all was going well.
She asked me to move in with her after I came to see her. It seemed things were to good to be true.
All was still going well.
Then I committed to the move.
I packed up my child and two dogs and drove 1,800 miles across the US to move in with her and her kids. All was going well.....for 2 weeks and 3 days after arrived.
2 weeks and 3 days after I arrived, I was woken up to a knock at the door. It was 6:15 am.
I went to the door to see a sheriff and his deputy standing outside.(I was horrified to think that her oldest son may have been in a fatal car accident).
Nope, that wasn`t it.
Apparently, she had failed to inform me that she hadn`t made a house payment on over a year.  The Sheriff was there to evict her and her kids....OH! and now my daughter, dogs and I are part of that nightmare. (Some people just don`t like to be alone when things go bad. Remember the saying, Misery Loves Company?)
I had left my family and friends behind. I gave up my home, which was paid off. At that point I had NO home to go back to since I had leased it out for a year.
I guess my point is this....people that you see day in & day out will lie to you and to your face. People on the net are no different. Remember, behind that monitor, typing furiously is a person that has the same faults others have.
Not to say there are not good, honest people on the web. You just really never know with people. I hope you either work out the issues you are having or are wise enough to know when to cut and run. Feelings are just that, feelings and have been know to be wrong. And feelings also change. But our feelings are our own. And we can feel for people we never met. Why not for people online?
Oh, and be happy you didn`t go through the nightmare I did.
Just think if that had been you.
Now doesn`t that make you feel better?
**hears Melbie snickering "yes...better...better you than me"**
(btw, for me, all is well again!)
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| 10/12/2007 3:18:21 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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soultrynights
Perris, CA
age: 38
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why so serious
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| 10/12/2007 4:17:21 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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melbie7769
Grand Junction, CO
age: 29
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Soultry i didn't think you'd come in here being with the title and all!!
Smooches Melbie
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| 10/12/2007 4:22:29 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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godofwine
Fargo, ND
age: 33 online now!
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the guy has a lot of good points. very valid stuff.
i meant lawrence084
[Edited 10/12/2007 4:23:57 PM]
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| 10/12/2007 4:27:41 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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guardian65
Hudson, NH
age: 42
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The DH membership is more like an extended family than anything. For the most part we've come to know each other quite well, some more than others. Think about the posts where we've wished well to those who have reported good news in their life, and how about the posts where we've offered prayers and best wishes when bad news was the topic. Personally, I think it's human nature to care for people regardless of whether or not you've met them in person.
JMO
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| 10/12/2007 4:51:04 PM |
Ok a serious thread by me....yes its true I can be serious!! |
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stl1
Saint Louis, MO
age: 53
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Melbie-
I give you a hard time on here sometimes but it is only because I like you and I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. Reading between the lines it seems you feel as if a friend/possible partner is blowing you off. If that is the case just know that being who you are, you will find someone else. Of course this doesn't help today but keep it in mind for tomorrow.
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