| 12/11/2008 5:01:33 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
sarahleigh21
Yankton, SD
age: 21
|
Ummm....this is so hard to say but I'm going to explain it the best i can. I just got out of a very abusive relationship that went on for 4 years. To be completely honest, he left me and it was just so devastating. Well he called me last Friday and wanted to get back together...I didn't say yes. But I didn't say no either. We were talking and trying to work things out because he promised that he's changed. Well he just called me and accused me of his brother because his brother was evicted from his apartment and I was a nice person and let him stay at my apartment. ( my ex and his brother just recently got out of prison for assault with a deadly weapon. and my ex lives on the other side of the state.) My ex said he is going to come to where I am at and beat me up....so bad that I'll be put in the hospital. He said he wants to kill me. And he threatened to do the same to his little brother too. I don't know what to do. I'm kinda scared. What if he shows up? What should i do? I want to call the cops but I would feel bad if he went back to prison... that's so sick huh? I'm so confused.... 
|
| 12/11/2008 5:07:14 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
countrysweet677
Bordelonville, LA
age: 48
|
how can you feel bad if your dead? open your eyes he's an abusive a** get out don't look back and change your number and tell the cops you've been threatened honey don't be stupid!!!!
|
| 12/11/2008 5:07:14 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
foryoubaby
Seattle, WA
age: 23
|
RUN GIRL RUN. Get a restraining order, this guy is not good and you deserve better. I know it is going to hurt, alot. But you will see in the long run being hit and yelled at everyday is not love. I have been in your situation and it is very scary. You ARE strong enough to leave him and stay gone. They never change dont believe that load of BS.
|
| 12/11/2008 5:12:25 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
foryoubaby
Seattle, WA
age: 23
|
BTW OP if you need someone to talk to in private you can message me. I was in a 3 year relationship that was abusive. I may be young but I have been exactly where you are. I would like to be help, if I can.
|
| 12/11/2008 5:12:26 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
nyguitar77
Watertown, NY
age: 31
|
When a man says he'll change, he's lying. No one can change just like that. And why in the world would you even associate yourself with a criminal??!! Get as far away from that drain on society as you can! Like the above poster said, get a restraining order which includes phone calls. Cut off all communication with this dangerous criminal!
|
| 12/11/2008 5:12:57 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
breezy13
Crestwood, KY
age: 27
|
Sweetie, take off. Do whatever you have to to get him out of your life. Stay with friends for a while so he doesn't know exactly where you are. If he hasn't changed over 4 years he isn't going to now (cause I am assuming he has done this before). If he is saying that he can do that you AND his little brother, the man has some major trust issues and it is not your fault, but you are most important so take care of yourself and find someone that deserves you!
|
| 12/11/2008 5:15:20 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
leftyl8
Horseheads, NY
age: 43
|
i call bullshit. why would you be posting in here and not calling the cops or packing? like i said, BULLSHIT! sounds like another attention seeking thread to me
|
| 12/11/2008 5:19:19 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
sarahleigh21
Yankton, SD
age: 21
|
Because I don't want to call the cops...as bad as he treats me and has treated me...I love him...I don't want him to go back to prison...I don't want attention but if that's what you think then forget I even posted in here...whatever...sorry i asked for your help.
|
| 12/11/2008 5:22:22 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 41
|
Ignore him, don't answer his calls etc...buy a stun gun off ebay... (they are like $20) or a local gun store....if he comes around and looks like its going to get physical..let him have it.
I got my g/f a stun gun for her purse...it's not much bigger than a pen...1.5mil volts....we tried it out on me when it arrived...
.....not a good idea for me :/
|
| 12/11/2008 5:26:16 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
leftyl8
Horseheads, NY
age: 43
|
look...if youre serious, then how can you be that stupid? someone just threatened you and youve got his brother in your house? i cant count how many wrong things there are about this situation. thats why i called bullshit. ok, so you want sound advice? call the cops. buy a gun, move, tell your parents, sleep with his brother (might as well get some before he beats you up), go to a shelter, change the locks, get an alarm system, etc....any of these ring a bell?
|
| 12/11/2008 5:26:50 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
whitelillies
Tuscaloosa, AL
age: 53
|
You are so young, and you could be setting yourself up for a terrible life of pure misery! You already exhibit textbook battered wife syndrome, because you have accepted this as a way of life. You didn't mention if there is a child involved. I can only hope not. Firstly, you CAN not take this threat lightly, because you have already spoken of the violent nature of BOTH of them. You need to get to the police and file a restraining order, and you need to tape his conversations and threats to you. This is important so that something already exists in their files. It's NOT your fault if he goes back to prison. In fact, that sounds like where he belongs. Remember if he will hurt YOU this way, he will hurt others also, and surely you don't want that on your conscience. HE alone is responsible for his behavior; not you, because there is no excuse for him. I can tell you don't really believe you could be dead. Real dead and buried. Well, you can. It happens every few minutes of every day in America. Picture yourself being DEAD. No longer on earth to pursue your dreams. Find a decent partner. Have a family of your own. None of this will happen for you, because you will be dead, and what does he care about going back to prison. He's been there, done that and it did no good at all which proves he'd be willing to go back to take you out. Also, get the brother OUT of your house immediately. He's grown, and he will survive. Also, you need to get yourself into therapy before this kind of relationship starts to just feel normal to you, and it will. I have seen this over and over again, and i promise you, i'm giving it to you straight. DO NOT TOLERATE THIS LIFESTYLE. You're young with your whole life ahead of you. What a blessing. What will you do with this blessing? It's your decision. I pray you will make the right one!
|
| 12/11/2008 5:27:25 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 48
|
Because I don't want to call the cops...as bad as he treats me and has treated me...I love him...I don't want him to go back to prison...I don't want attention but if that's what you think then forget I even posted in here...whatever...sorry i asked for your help.
You may just have won the award for all time stupidest female on the planet.
Seriously.
"He threatened to kill me"
"I don't want to call the cops "
God I hope you don't have kids.
Hey, here's an idea, dump this guy for Drew Peterson.
[Edited 12/11/2008 5:28:55 AM]
|
| 12/11/2008 5:29:44 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
foryoubaby
Seattle, WA
age: 23
|
look...if youre serious, then how can you be that stupid? someone just threatened you and youve got his brother in your house? i cant count how many wrong things there are about this situation. thats why i called bullshit. ok, so you want sound advice? call the cops. buy a gun, move, tell your parents, sleep with his brother (might as well get some before he beats you up), go to a shelter, change the locks, get an alarm system, etc....any of these ring a bell?
She is young and its hard to leave some one you have depended on for so long. She can do it and she will do it. She just needs to work through the trauma and the confusion of it all.
|
| 12/11/2008 5:30:24 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
pirana01
Navarre, FL
age: 50
|
Sounds like you have answered your own question, the fact that you keep insisting that you love him and don't want to get him in trouble even at the cost of your own welfare, tells me you are going to give him that chance to hurt you again. I hope I am wrong.
For you to get away from him, you have to truly want to. You need to get help for your abuse issues. Physical and emotional abuse tear a person down to where they have no identity of their own, that has been abused out of you. He controlled you then and he still does. There are places that can help abuse victims, you need to get out of this cycle before he does kill you.
I wish you the best of luck.
|
| 12/11/2008 5:30:49 AM |
Can someone please help me or just give me some advice? |
|
luella2u
Snoqualmie, WA
age: 53
|
i call bullshit. why would you be posting in here and not calling the cops or packing? like i said, BULLSHIT! sounds like another attention seeking thread to me
You may be right, but chances are that this young woman is serious. The typical abuse victim somehow sees it as being their fault. They feel guilty and they honestly want the abuser to, and hope that the abuser will, change. They, the victim, are constantly confused about what to do. They want to be loved and truly believe that the abuser does so. If only they (victim) were a better person, didn't cause the abuser to get angry...the list goes on. Usually victims have little, no or poor self-esteem, especially after the abuser gets through with them. So, please, cut the girl some slack. Don't you add to her abuse, show some compassion.
OP, call the police and file a report. He has threatened you and he was convicted of assault. Believe what he said and act like you believe it. You aren't getting him in trouble, he's doing that all on his own. It's not your fault. But you need to take precautions. He hasn't changed. I hope you have. No one deserves to be abused. Stand up for yourself, you are worth it.
[Edited 12/11/2008 5:32:06 AM]
|