| 12/11/2008 5:05:01 AM |
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cowboyintown
Edmonton, AB
age: 41 online now!
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In just about every 1 of my relationships that I WAS cheated on. I was the last 1 to know. What I would like too know if there is signs that I missed? What are they or maybe did not want too see. Has this happened too you? 
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| 12/11/2008 5:10:09 AM |
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foryoubaby
Seattle, WA
age: 23
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You have to learn to read between the lines. Have you heard of Kevin Fowler? He did a song called Read between the lines, that song was an eye opener for me.
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| 12/11/2008 5:11:48 AM |
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leftyl8
Horseheads, NY
age: 43
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when theyre texting and hiding it from you, when they stop f**king you and start grooming themselves more. new hairdew, piercings, tattooes, etc....and when you ask them what made them want that stuff, they say, it was time for a change. Bullshit!! listen to your instinct. if you even remotely think theres something going on, there probably is.
its always funny cuz as soon as you break up, your friends all come to you and tell you what theyve seen. its like, "why the f**k didnt you say something"? they always say that they didnt want to get involved or you wouldnt believe them any way and blah, blah, blah.
speak up people.
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| 12/11/2008 5:18:48 AM |
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barbaraajo
Reston, VA
age: 52
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yes, it has happened to me, I have a bad habit of believing someone when I love them
I BELIEVED him when he said he was working every weekend and holiday, I BELIEVED his lies when he said he was going out of town on business for weeks at a time. I BELIEVED him when he said he loved me, I BELIEVED him when he said I was the only one. I BELIEVED him when he vowed to love me and only me and would be for me only.
BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!!
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| 12/11/2008 5:23:25 AM |
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bunnyfastard
Craig, CO
age: 50
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I was cheated on too. A couple things I noticed is that she started texting alot instead of phoning. She also put her phone on vibrate and also changed paswords on the computer. Besides all of that she lied. Hope that helps. But remember. A cheater is a liar.
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| 12/11/2008 5:33:42 AM |
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liblue
Lindale, TX
age: 36
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Hi cowboy,
I've been cheated on once that I know about. This happened when I was 19 and had been with this guy for 10 mos. I'm sure this is not the norm, but our sex actually improved. He was trying new things with me and I thought our relationship was getting stronger until I started noticing he would have 2 or 3 shirts in his truck at a time. He said he had them in there for after work. I believed him at first because this was during the Summer and I figured he just didn't want to wear sweaty shirts to come see me in the afternoons on lunch break.
After about the 4th time he came to see me in sweaty shirts anyway...I pretty much knew.
Oh, and I can't promise my husband ever cheated but don't you think taking your cell phone to the bathroom,shower,checking the mailbox...etc is sorta strange? I always thought so.
Oh, and if a women starts suspecting you of doing stuff all of a sudden....odds are she's up to no good!
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| 12/11/2008 5:38:25 AM |
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snazzy73
York, PA
age: 39
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This is another one of those things where your instinct can be your guide. Even if you don't know that she is cheating you should be able to pick up that something's just not quite 'right'... If you ask her about it.. the more defensive she becomes the more you 'have your sign'
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| 12/11/2008 5:45:45 AM |
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maryg2
Philadelphia, PA
age: 38
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yeah, unfortunately u have to go thru it to be able to look back in hindsight. and when i did look back, boy, did i really miss things cuz at the time u just trust them still even tho the 2 of u might be in a bad spot....but i noticed finally the sex was out the door, and he would start dressing up more w/cologne when he normally wouldn't for where he was going and just personality changes....and he would always have this "look" in his eyes (and he still does to this day) when he's up to no good ill say. ive had it done now too many times to me and i'm over it. i tried possibly entertaining the idea of getting back w/him not so long ago, but my mind and heart was all freaked out for lack of a better term cuz of what he did to me and our son. so i cant get over a cheater and a liar. it makes u feel stupid and shameful at first when s/o does it to u. but as time goes on, u realize u r better off w/out them and u can watch them do it to s/o else now. ppl like that r selfish to me and have no morals or values...its really a shame.
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| 12/11/2008 5:51:32 AM |
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luella2u
Snoqualmie, WA
age: 53
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I been there too and it's no fun. The key to any relationship is communication. When the communication gets difficult and there seems to be things that can't be talked about or that aren't being talked about, that's a problem. When they spend more time in conversation with someone else - especially conversations that they don't want you to overhear - that's trouble. When communication breaks down, so does the relationship.
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| 12/11/2008 6:05:46 AM |
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klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 40
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Cowboy, the signs were there and only you can figure out what they were. When did things change? What changed? What were you doing? The most important question I would ask myself is how did I allow my relationship to get to a point where my partner would cheat? My husband didn't cheat, he became addicted to drugs. I didn't only have to figure out why he turned to drugs, I had to figure out what I could have done differently so that he didn't turn to drugs.
I do not take complete responsibility, but there were things I allowed that I shouldn't have allowed. When I realized he was using and why he was using, I made the necessary changes which I should have made long before but it was too late. It was nothing I did, it is what I allowed. If you want to go forward in life and prevent the same thing from happening again, you have to figure out what you allowed.
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| 12/11/2008 7:17:39 AM |
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sharolas
Elk Grove Village, IL
age: 38
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If they are doing something out of the ordinary which they normally do not do and secretive about it. That could be a sign. Texting in a locked room. If they are on the phone without your presense and you walk in and they hang up real quick that could be a sign. Just have to read between the lines.
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| 12/11/2008 7:23:48 AM |
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cowboyintown
Edmonton, AB
age: 41 online now!
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I thank all that have replyed
I should have let you know that my work involved living in camp. 3 in 1 out so there was alot that I could not see. When we met it was this way. and I don't think she started cheating until the last 6 months in our relationship. even then nothing really changed except where we lived.
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| 12/11/2008 7:28:01 AM |
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lrakus
Charleston, SC
age: 44
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We have all been cheated on. If you havent your gonna be. Now I am seeking a sweety that knows she wants other men. I am cool withit as long as there is honesty. Being the last to know is what makes it such a surprise and hurtful.
nowaday's I prefer to be the first to know. Before the lucky guy that gets to feel the silk between the thighs of my beautiful partner. I would prefer she tell me about it when we are being intimate. No surprises there. Just a good honest woman.
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| 12/11/2008 7:51:11 AM |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 61
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Lack of communication is the key here. In my last marriage, because my ex loved to fight about absolutely nothing (as all drunks do), I found myself editing the topics that were safe to discuss. Eventually, there were no topics left!!! Then, there is the ever present walking on broken glass....
Signs he was up to no good:
1. On the computer day and night when he could have been doing something fun with me.
2. Going to mutual friends' house down the block and telling me I wasn't invited (that's so he could b*tch and complain about me behind my back).
3. Looking at the computer browser and seeing "Unhappily Married In Florida" as a site he visited, then finding the e-mails back and forth from and to women there.
4. Definite no good: clicking out of the site he was on when I came into the room. Then yelling at me that I was invading his privacy! (He did that with me when he was cheating on his girlfiend when he met me) WARNING: IF THEY DO IT WITH YOU, THEY WILL DO IT TO YOU!
The spyware I put on the computer, in the end, hurt me. However, I learned the absolute truth and I divorced him.
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| 12/11/2008 8:03:04 AM |
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lilmissala1957
Hartselle, AL
age: 51
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I don't know that there were signs so much as there was a gut feeling I had. Later I found definite signs and so on but I had the feeling long before the actual signs. I love how they try to make YOU the guilty party when they are the one doing wrong. You wouldn't believe some of the stories my x use to tell me when he was actually caught!
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