| 10/19/2007 12:43:04 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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suzydoll
Ravenna, TX
age: 63
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Was just wondering if anyone else out there is a grandparent living with their grown kids and acting as primary caregiver to their grandkids. Would love to share experiences. As I recently retired, my kids asked me to come live with them as they had a real need. Both work out of the home. Grandsons are 11 and 15. Parents don't get home until 7-8 PM and kids are home at 4:30 and had no supervision. The cost of day care is outrageous and of course at this age the boys didn't want a "baby sitter". It has been a difficult adjustment after living by myself for 8 years but it is working really well.
It was by choice that I sold my home and relocated out of State to do this. I gain financially as all bills are paid, I have my own phone, TV and living space and a man available to do all those odd jobs like mowing, bringing in groceries etc......and they have granny home supervising the kids after school.
All replies welcomed even the ones that I know that are gonna say ARE YOU CRAZY? 
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| 10/19/2007 1:11:04 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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stargazzer
Creighton, NE
age: 60
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Yes I think you and many others are in this new grandparenting breed in someway!! Right now I have none liveing with me But my oldest daughter was 1st to make me a granddad in her 10th grade in high school. I am called popa...smiles... But I was the care giver then and 5 times after she left home she needed to return. But now things are looking good for that to be in the past. Have two daughters & now last year both were married to wonderfull men and I now have 3 grandkids.
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| 10/19/2007 2:04:12 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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butterfly58
Arcadia, MO
age: 60
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I have been tempted with the same situation. My youngest son is married and has two small children (three and six months) and he's been after me to live in their basement that has an outside entrance and my own privacy in exchange for helping out with the grand kids. They both work and in fact he's suppose to be going to Iraq for the second time in January. I'm still thinking about it but don't want to give up being on my own for I like the privacy thing. He even went so far as to say I could have overnight guest as long as they weren't permanent.
We'll see
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| 10/19/2007 2:26:47 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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thepkk
Ash Grove, MO
age: 54
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JIm to the corner>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I stayed with my kids over the summer to help them and to help me. I only wish they would get a house with mother in law quarters. I would love it.
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| 10/19/2007 6:09:05 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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suzydoll
Ravenna, TX
age: 63
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JIM......In answer to your question, which was a good point by the way. There are no rules other than what applies to the entire family. My lifestyle has never been one where I have sleep overs with men in my home. Not knocking it guys, it's just not my lifestyle. Sleep overs only are reached for me after establishing a solid comitted relationship which I have not been in one for a long time. Still looking for that right one, if he comes along I'll keep ya posted to what problems it might present.
No, no curfews. Like I said I have my own space and entrance. I do what I want to do and if I can't be here for any reason when the boys get home from school occassionaly, we work it out. If I want to be with the family in the evenings then I go into their family room and watch tv with them, if not, I either go to the living room (in which I have a tv and my own stuff) OR I go to my bedroom which also has another tv, stereo and my puter. I have my own phone line and own phone number.
Actually because both parents leave at 6 in the morning and don't get home until 7-8 at night,,,,,,, I rarely see them. They always seek me out though and say hi, how are you mom.
So, I have alot of privacy. Week-ends are pretty much the same. There is football, fishing, camping, boating etc...... If I want to go, I go. If I have other plans or just don't want to go. More privacy. It's really Great. I won't go into the draw backs because they are so trivial. Little things like grandsons in and out of the bedroom or my living room just to give granny hugs or a kiss or just talk. No is that a draw back?
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| 10/19/2007 6:31:19 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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bluboy
Elsberry, MO
age: 57
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Sounds like a very nice setup.. I guess my only real question ,if I come up there are we going to get our own places... But you will have to come out from behind that tree.
Later. Blu
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| 10/19/2007 10:36:11 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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thepkk
Ash Grove, MO
age: 54
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suzydoll I wish my kids could do that where I had my own space like that but I could be near them and the grandkids most of all. They are growing faster than my own kids did.
Have fun.
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| 10/20/2007 6:04:07 AM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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suzydoll
Ravenna, TX
age: 63
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As in all Life decisions,,,, there are always the pluses and minuses regarding the situation. I considered all of the negatives that I could think of and weighed them against all the positive and what I came up with was a list where (Being totally selfish in considering MY wants and MY needs) was that the positives won out over the negatives. Also I considered the negatives. Were they something that I could tolerate or work with or around. As in any relationship if the negatives are something that we can not deal with at all then we shouldn't go there BUT if they are just little annoyances then there's the possibility of working them out. No matter what situation we find ourselves in life, there will always be some drawbacks.
The great mystery in my situation is that my daughter-in-law and I are complete opposites but that works for us because our different personalities actually compliment each other. I am little miss suzy homemaker, a nurturer. She is a career minded woman (Nothing wrong with that, no offense meant, just a different personality type) She is very vocal, I'm very quiet....etc.
I think what you have to take into consideration when thinking about living with your kids or vice versus, is can the two of you work together for the betterment of both your needs. Respect is the big issue. Respecting each others needs and desires and the other thing is Sharing. As a single grandparent and the years that I lived alone I became much like a spoiled "Only" child. Everything was mine. I didn't have to share anything. My time was my own. When you enter back into a family enviornment, you lose some of that. "Who ate my candy bar I had in the fridge"? comes to mind.
What entered into my mind as I considered all of the above when making the decision to live with the kids, was it so different from marriage or roomate or any live in situation?
If you desire solitude this is not a lifestyle for you.
So what if they annoy the heck out of me some of the time, the blessings I get out of being here far out weigh every selfish, petty little thought that I have.
May each of you experience Joy, Peace and Love in whatever situation you find yourself living in.
Suzy
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| 10/20/2007 6:07:52 AM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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bluboy
Elsberry, MO
age: 57
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WOW, life !!!!!!!!!!
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| 10/20/2007 12:36:26 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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cottagebithec
Utica, NY
age: 61
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Your situation doesn't sound like a new breed, it sounds like a lost breed.
It appears to have worked very well for you and your son's family and that is wonderful! You seem like a very special lady.
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| 10/20/2007 12:55:00 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
age: 52
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This is a new role for grandparents and for most.. it seems to work extremely well. I think that it a reason why people are living longer. It's a tough world out there and families are now coming back as a unit. Alot more parents are living with their kids for one reason or another and the value of family is on a rise I think
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| 10/20/2007 6:04:06 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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mikey1950
Rimersburg, PA
age: 58
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i dont understand giving up so much of yourself for your kids. first of all if they were raised right they would be independant and self sufficient. my sons have their masters and phds. they are also married with kids. they are only 26 and 30. stop crying and support your kids.
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| 10/20/2007 6:19:51 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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bookshort
Herrin, IL
age: 60
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Well, bully for you Mikey--hey he likes it!! Sorry for being so ---juvenile.
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| 10/20/2007 8:27:46 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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leila123
Liberty Hill, TX
age: 61
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Mikey... ya got anything nice to say?
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| 10/23/2007 2:28:05 PM |
Am I a New Breed in Grandparenting? |
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cookiedar
Farmington, NM
age: 52
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I am a brand new grandma of a two month. And I would do anything in a heasrt beat, life is too short.
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