| 2/28/2009 7:54:44 AM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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nancys5905
Horseheads, NY
age: 43
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I know the day I told my husband that I was gonna be ok and that he didn't need to fight anymore was the hardest day of my life. It brings a tear to my eye as i am typing this.
It is a moment shared between me and my husband that I still have a hard time sharing or telling my best friend about. It has been 4 years since he passed away. Anyone else have a hard time talking about their lost loved ones final days.
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| 2/28/2009 8:04:24 AM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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lakc
Houston, TX
age: 49
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After a year, I still struggle to talk about his final two weeks. I think about those days often and realize that the 'nightmare' is over for him but still goes on for me. 
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| 2/28/2009 1:02:02 PM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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nancys5905
Horseheads, NY
age: 43
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I understand the feeling.
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| 2/28/2009 6:09:55 PM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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3crosses
Alamogordo, NM
age: 52
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Saying good bye to my husband was the hardest thing I ever had to do. As I sat beside him and he was struggling to breath, I finally told him that I would always love him, he struggled to find the words, but told me he loved me and we both cried, held onto each other as I told him he could take the hand of Jesus and walk into the garden. My soldier son also spent time with him. I watched him hold onto my son as if he was clutching life until the very end. I only looked away for a moment and when I did, he stopped breathing. So peacefully he left this life. 51 days later, I had to do the same for his mother as she passed away. We were helping to care for her when he got sick again. My heart aches for him, but at the same time I'm grateful for the time we had and that he is no longer in pain. 10 yrs is a long time to go thru cancer. He was a tough ole bird.
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| 2/28/2009 6:50:39 PM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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nancys5905
Horseheads, NY
age: 43
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Thank you for sharing your story. My story has so many similarities.
I spent the last two days in the hospital with him. He wanted me by his side. When the priest came in to give him his last rights, (he was not a very religious man, but did believe in GOD) he asked to be forgiven and accepted that he was not coming home from the hospital this time. We talked and I told him my biggest fear was that I would leave the room to take a break and walk back into the room to find him not breathing. It was the worst feeling.
He was in so much pain and had such difficulty breathing we held each other and prayed for GOD to take him. He was fighting up to that point in time for me as I didn't want to lose him. I had to tell him that I would be alright and that it was ok to stop fighting.
Well that last night when we talked he told me he was going to die in this very bed. I wouldn't leave his side. I couldn't leave the room. I didn't want to return to find him gone. I wanted to be with him. Now I told him I was terrified that I would watch him take his last breathe. That last day was hell for both of us. Praying for GOD to end my husbands suffering and being terrified that he was going to die. Telling my husband it was ok to go to GOD.
The nurses would bring in a cot so that I could sleep by my husbands side. Because I told my husband my biggest fear was leaving the room and returning to find him not breathing and /or watching him take his last breathe, He waited until I fell asleep in the cot next to his bed. I wasnt sleeping 10 minutes when the nurses woke me up to say that he had passed away. That is love. The suffered all day long to lessen my fears. I love him so much and miss him terribly.
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| 3/1/2009 9:50:49 AM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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scared_trying
Baker City, OR
age: 53
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It will be two years in June since I lost my husband. I can go days, and weeks without being unduly upset, but all it takes is one event to bring back the terrible reminders of his last days. I wish the pain would/could go away. Maybe I'm trying to move on too quickly, I don't know, but after 33 years of marriage, I don't seem to be able to move away from my life!
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| 3/2/2009 10:06:46 AM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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nancys5905
Horseheads, NY
age: 43
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I know how you feel. My wedding anniversary is coming up. March 6th. This Friday. We would have been married 10 years. We were together for 8 years before we got married. Thats a total of 18 years with the same person. You cant expect to stop hurting after a few years of their passing.
I don't ever expect the grief to be gone, I just expect to be able to recogninze that I am missing him, acknowledge it, and accept it. I feel truly blessed to have one great love of my life. 
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| 3/2/2009 12:39:56 PM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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flamingt
Antioch, CA
age: 58
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Those last few weeks with my husband are still etched in my memory. He had no pain...just a lot of confusion (brain cancer). He went with humor and happiness, but that still doesn't take the sting of loneliness out of my heart. I, too, am crying as I type this. It has been 18 months....and I'm still aching. I have found some consolation in meditating and thinking positive thoughts. I have tried these internet dating sites...but somehow I get the message that the men don't want to talk to widows or date them. I changed my status to single...and I get all kinds of winks! I have been successful in a short relationship....but he hasn't been in a long term relationship himself ever...and I think mine (36 years) overwhelms him. The new guy has given me solace and my sensuality back...but somehow, I know, he will drift away soon. 
I just have to keep looking for the positive things that make me happy...I truly hope you do too!I try to watch comedy a lot and look for laughing people...it helps! Dancing and exercise do a wonderful job! 
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| 3/2/2009 6:44:44 PM |
Saying Goodbye to your love one |
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nancys5905
Horseheads, NY
age: 43
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Thank you.
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