| 2/28/2009 11:06:28 PM |
Is he married? |
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uneek50
Mesa, AZ
age: 50
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I'm dating a guy that hasn't taken me to his place yet.He says he had to move back in with his mother who is in poor health.{yet she works}He says that his mother is still friends with his ex and it wouldn't be a good idea to take me there.He moved in at her request.There have been a couple of times that we had plans and then he has canceled on me.For the most part he seems to have all the free time he wants.What grown man can't take a date home? I'm begining to think he might be married. I did ask him and he said no. I don't see how it would be disrespectful taking me there. It's not like we would be having sex in her home.We see each other about 3 to 4 times a week. What do you think? Is he married?
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| 2/28/2009 11:17:34 PM |
Is he married? |
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suzy_cakes
Madison, WI
age: 30
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easiest way to find out is to do a search on his name. some records are public.
although, he may be truthful of all that and if he finds you did a search on him, he may run quickly.
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| 2/28/2009 11:41:46 PM |
Is he married? |
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lil_rebel
Shepherdsville, KY
age: 40
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Well given the limited info. My guess is you may be right (married) and/or unemployed. Mentally rehash conversations/situations you've had with him, if somethings asque you'll start to see patterns and then it all adds up. Even if you do do a search theres no rule that says you have to tell him.
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| 3/1/2009 5:25:30 AM |
Is he married? |
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kinkycapitalist
Atlanta, GA
age: 54
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No, probably not, but he certainly isn't comfortable presenting you to his mother, now or maybe ever. This doesn't bode well for a LTR, does it? There were plenty of gals I wouldn't bring home to mom. Now dad was another matter.
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| 3/1/2009 6:02:03 AM |
Is he married? |
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pirana01
Navarre, FL
age: 50
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How long have you been seeing each other? Where is it that you guys meet/go the3 or 4 times a week that you do see each other? Can you call him anytime night or day and on weekends?
And if he is telling the truth, I have to wonder is he ashamed of her or you?
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| 3/1/2009 6:16:59 AM |
Is he married? |
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d_voted
Winnipeg, MB
age: 56
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easiest way to find out is to do a search on his name. some records are public.
although, he may be truthful of all that and if he finds you did a search on him, he may run quickly.
Good idea.
Do a search on me - I don't care - it would be an indicator that you are a serious person who is cautious and prudent.
If you've nothing to hide what difference does it make if someone does a bit of research on you? Also the advantage of lying is that I get to have an 'empty head' - a great pleasure as far as I am concerned. People who lie need to remember stuff - too much energy wasted. I have a wonderful imagination that requires ALL the room in my head to wander around in and come up with weird playful stuff.
That is why I am so good at my avocation in the psych wards or in the middle years class room. You want to go out on a limb mentally - I'll go FAR OUT into outer space - can you keep up. If you are sincere and have nothing to hide they'll follow and you can 'Trip Out' together.
Hell yes - do a search. If he doesn't like it too bad. It is your peace of mind that is important.
Keep groovin'
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| 3/1/2009 6:33:44 AM |
Is he married? |
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whodabob
Des Moines, IA
age: 43
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Ditto to a couple previous posts. I would be flattered to find out a lady did a background check on me...as long as she came to me with any questions she had about her search. If you've been dating more than 3 or 4 weeks I think it's a good idea of you to see these red flags. Even if dude is divorced and living with Mommy, who likes ex wife (why didn't ex wife move in with Mommy if they're such good buds?) Mommy must know that little Johnny is dating if he's gone 3 or 4 nights a week. I'd tell him flat out that you're seeing red flags and why. If he needs to keep parts of his life hidden from you now he probably always will. But be sure and explain that you're not looking for a ring and Mommy's approval, let him know that you just want to build trust, which all good people know needs to be earned. Tell him you're not looking to have Mommy make a home cooked meal, but Wednesday night you want to come pick him up at his house and at least meet Mom at the door...baby steps. Mommy gets to see Johnny's dating a nice lady and you get to find out whether Johnny's just embarrassed (OK) or lying (not OK!).
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| 3/1/2009 6:47:35 AM |
Is he married? |
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wwilson
Austin, TX
age: 50
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Can only speak from experience. I have dated 2 different women that never wanted me to go by their house and it turned out they were still married.
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| 3/1/2009 10:39:54 AM |
Is he married? |
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uneek50
Mesa, AZ
age: 50
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We go places that any normal couple goes on dates.So that rules out him being ashamed of being seen with me.Yes I can call him any time day or night. That doesn't seem to be a problem.With cell phones it's easy to talk to anyone.My ex talked to women when we were married and said it was a buddy of his.I have been dating him a little over a month.
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| 3/1/2009 11:21:01 AM |
Is he married? |
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rocket000
Murrayville, GA
age: 50
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Women typically have a good 6th sense yet often try to explain it away. When we look back on a situation we almost always say, "I should have listened to my gut".
First red flag: You're not comfortable.
This guy may be married or separated and still living with his wife OR
If he is divorced (or only separated) and living with his mom: Why doesn't he want you to come to the house? Maybe his mom is hoping he reconciles with his estranged wife OR
He likes you enough to fool around but not "enough" to bring you home(see kinkycapitalist)
or
his has no ba---!
If you are having these types of issues and you've only seen him a short period of time, it's probably NOT going to get better. You will wind up being MORE ALONE with him than cutting your losses and redirecting your energy toward a man who treats you with respect.
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| 3/1/2009 11:42:54 AM |
Is he married? |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 61
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I see that you are 50, so I will assume your man is 50+. He can take care of his mother without having to live with her at that age. If he refuses to bring you home, it may be that the home is in disarray and he is embarrassed OR that mother of his is really his wife. Like someone said, do a drive-by and see if there are signs of wife or children around.
But then again...you can trust him. After all, you're merely dating.
If you must have all the facts, do a credit and criminal search on him. He won't be able to get out of the truth on that one.
He has cancelled plans with you. Does that tell you something? It should. Unless his dear, sick, WORKING mother went to the hospital, it's all fluff. Hey, do what you want, he is just a date.
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| 3/1/2009 12:21:31 PM |
Is he married? |
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fishenguy
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 49
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I doubt that he is married. Based on what I read here...I think he is afraid you might lose respect for him for living with his mom.
He might have stretched the truth a bit about being asked to move in with mom. It's possible that he has just hit bad times and figured it is best to live with mom until he can get back on his feet. After all....he is probaly around your age. Which means his mom is at least in her 70's. Most women I know that age would love to help their children out if they needed it. Also, perhaps part of the deal of him staying with her is that he doesn't bring anyone home.
Women have to stop looking at the negative things first. Look at what a man has to offer first, than look at what the negative things might be.
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| 3/1/2009 12:26:41 PM |
Is he married? |
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pike_co_rfd
Pittsfield, IL
age: 53
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Well he ma not be married, but I'll bet there is another woman involved, and it's not his mother...
Secondly do you even know where his mother lives? Maybe he is ashamed to take you there fo fear it's not good enough for you.
I had a guy do that to me too, and that was why after seeing his place, yep, I felt like running......
He said it needed a womans touch...Honey it needed a bulldozer!!!!
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| 3/1/2009 5:11:01 PM |
Is he married? |
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beu24
Beverly Hills, CA
age: 49
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Women typically have a good 6th sense yet often try to explain it away. When we look back on a situation we almost always say, "I should have listened to my gut".
First red flag: You're not comfortable.
This guy may be married or separated and still living with his wife OR
If he is divorced (or only separated) and living with his mom: Why doesn't he want you to come to the house? Maybe his mom is hoping he reconciles with his estranged wife OR
He likes you enough to fool around but not "enough" to bring you home(see kinkycapitalist)
or
his has no ba---!
If you are having these types of issues and you've only seen him a short period of time, it's probably NOT going to get better. You will wind up being MORE ALONE with him than cutting your losses and redirecting your energy toward a man who treats you with respect.
well said
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| 3/1/2009 5:19:19 PM |
Is he married? |
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midnight08
Clarksburg, WV
age: 38
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you know, if you do not trust him. just leave. This bs about background checks and other bs is plain childish. I have nothing to hide but if I found out she wanted a check done on me. I would pay for it, give it to her as I was saying good bye.
If he is living with his mother at that age, then it is too late to ween him off mommy's tit anyway.
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