craftygirl002
Tacoma, WA
age: 39
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Sometimes it just amazes me what people choose to post here. We have guys complaining that they don't know what women want, women complaining that they don't know what guys want, people starting a thread saying they're leaving because all people of the opposite sex treat them the same way, and so many threads started by people who think they're being rejected because they're too tall, fat, thin, etc. Even though these threads have different topics, they all share one common trait...they're based on ASSUMPTIONS.
Some people assume that they have to figure out what the opposite gender wants, or seem to think that there is a certain set of criteria they must meet to find love. Others make the assumption that the reason they don't connect with others, or attract others who treat them badly, is the other parties' fault. More than a few people seem to be making the mistake of assuming that just because historically they have attracted people who don't treat them well, that's how they'll always be treated so they might as well give up.
I'm reminded of a recent trip my sister and I made to my grandmother's 95th birthday party. As we got into the car to go to the family farms for dinner after the party, my sister told me what a horrible person one of our aunts is and that she's always treated my sister badly. I asked what happened and she told me that she tried to take a picture of my aunt and uncle, but the aunt refused to look at the camera. I didn't really say much. When we got to the farms, I was outside and inadvertently heard one of my other uncles ask if that aunt was ok. Her husband replied that she'd be ok. I have no idea what was going on, but told my sister as we were driving home what I heard. I told her that maybe they were arguing, or our aunt didn't feel good, or maybe she had received some bad news and was upset. I told her that our aunt, for whatever reason, didn't want her picture taken at that moment and it's likely it had nothing to do with my sister. I reminded her that she has a tendency to jump to conclusions and that can lead to unfairly judging someone else.
The bottom line here, people, is that you don't have to figure out the entire opposite sex or change who you are to find love. The only person of the opposite gender you have to figure out is the one you choose to have a relationship with. The right person for you will love you regardless of your weight, height, etc. Heck, you might even find someone who loves you because of the characteristic you think is standing in the way of you finding that person. If every person you've dated in the past, or tried to communicate with, treats you the same... quit blaming them and start looking at yourself. Chances are it's your approach or choice in potential partners. Nobody can treat you badly unless you allow them to. Quit blaming others and start looking at what you can do differently to attract the kind of person you want to be with. Think about what you were doing when they treated you badly and QUIT DOING IT.
Regardless of whether or not you agree with anything I've said so far, there's benefit in thinking about whether or not your thread will attract the kind of person you want. There's also benefit in thinking about whether or not your thread puts your best foot forward.
Just a few thoughts I had. Now I'm going to bed. Good night all...can't wait to read your input on this tomorrow.
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lostinwyoming
Evanston, WY
age: 50 online now!
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good post crafty, ive allways said be yourself and you will eventualy atract the one thats right for you.if your not yourself while looking you will have to be that other self as long as your with that one.in other words im me,accept me as i am. be true to yourself.JMO
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stormy_nights
Weston, OR
age: 40
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very good thread crafty. I've learned in life to just be who I am. If people like me fine. If they don't it's their loss because I am a very good person.
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misty4u
Knoxville, TN
age: 51 online now!
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Good advice Crafty. If we pretend to be someone we're not then we will end up hurting ourselves in the long run. I mean if we have to pretend we're smart or humorous or witty to attract the person we want to attract and we are dumb as a cole bucket, that coal is gonna get spilled one day and we are gonna be left out in the cold. So to speak.ha. Just get into your own niche and hang loose. That is where you will be most comfortable. And accept that you are not highly intelligent or witty or hilarious to be around. Accept it then you can accept that other person who is there looking for you who has the same personality that you do. Then maybe the sparks can fly.
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nonickname49
Belchertown, MA
age: 57 online now!
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Crafty...you said it well..outstanding actually, also if I may add
there are those who still have trust issues and start looking for things
that are not there in a new relationship simply because they were burnt
before and are now gunshy. While I understand it...trust is needed, and
like you said, everything is based on their assuming..assuming that the new
person will do the same...
Additionally...we limit ourselves with our thoughts...we fail to seek someone
out that we are interested in simply because we assume they may not like us.
You never know until you try and just think of all the missed opportunities
for finding that one special person...
Again great thread....
[Edited 11/6/2007 10:17:00 AM]
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potentloveslave
Dade City, FL
age: 40
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good post. Unfortunately we are quick to judge, but slow to forgive. We are getting better, but have a long way to go.
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copterdriver
Saint Matthews, SC
age: 55
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good thread Crafty.... pancakes?
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peachess
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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Crafty, Nice posts but, Unfornutately the squeaky wheel usually gets the oil.
xoxoPeaches.
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