| 11/9/2007 10:45:35 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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jbsd78
San Diego, CA
age: 29
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It's very difficult for me to try and sustain any meaningful relationships at this point because I work some very long hours in the financial services industry.
I love my job, and feel that I am very good at what I do, but there is a tension between my work life and social life, and something is going to have to give sooner or later.
Unfortunately, there's not really any way to cut down on my work hours. They are predicated by whatever may be happening in the financial markets at any given time. Even when I'm home, I'm monitoring what's happening in overseas markets.
Have any of you had this dilemna, and if so, how did you resolve it (if you did)?
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| 11/9/2007 10:54:29 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 46
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My 1st husband worked swing shift and I worked day shift which left only the weekends for quality time together. Once you get in a routine thing went okay but when he got on day shift, it was a challenge to learn to work as a team.
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| 11/9/2007 10:59:07 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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jbsd78
San Diego, CA
age: 29
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That's the problem, cb; my hours aren't 'fixed.'
One week I may work 45 hours, and the next week may require 70 hours.
If I'm not around, or only around at late hours, and am therefore tired, because of work, it's hard to find someone who understands that and is willing to tolerate it for very long.
The only women who have been willing were more interested in material things than substantive ones.
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| 11/9/2007 11:12:15 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 46
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If it were me I'd have to make a choice of what was important to me. I, personally, put my family first. Jobs aren't a guarantee that it will be there tomorrow even if I put all my time into it. You can say relationships aren't either but if both work at it then the results are priceless and will last longer than a job.
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| 11/9/2007 11:14:53 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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jbs, I feel your pain..I work long hours as a nurse, and sometimes feel like that is all I do...and my free time is taken up with children who miss me when I am working. Very very hard to fit in dating. Maybe thats why the long distance relationship is so very wonderful right now! Both busy with similiar challenges, and have the time late at night to talk and really get to know one another. Internet dating sure has changed things..huh?
But as of right now, I am happy. That, in and of itself, is a very good thing.
He makes me smile!
Luvin
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| 11/9/2007 11:15:08 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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jbsd78
San Diego, CA
age: 29
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I didn't mean to say "the only women" willing.
I have had serious relationships that lasted for some time, and they did tolerate the fact that I work a lot of hours.
It's just that my schedule makes it hard to develop serious relationships.
luvinlife - Long distance relationships never did anything but cause me pain. If I really am into someone, it's literally painful to not be able to be with them. I realize that we're all different and that we have different reactions to LDRs, though.
[Edited 11/9/2007 11:17:05 PM]
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| 11/9/2007 11:22:48 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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minestar
Casper, WY
age: 21
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I know the feeling. This guy that im really in to is not only gone 2-3 weeks at a time, but there is no telling where he is gonna be. He works for the railroad so I hardly get to see him,let alone talk to him. What do I do?  
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| 11/9/2007 11:24:02 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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ladykathryn0414
Denison, IA
age: 29
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I know what you mean about work coming inbetween social life. I work a lot of doubles at my job, and that makes the days off, not really days off. Your internal clock is screwed up and you never really know when to sleep. Besides that, I also work friday nights and weekends.. which are the notorious "date" nights for most ppl. It is hard to fit that special someone in, let alone find them.
I know its not easy to find someone that will put up with that sort of thing, but there are ppl out there.. I put up with it with my late husband. He worked all over the country and would be gone at minimum 2 weeks to maximum 2 months at a time. Its just a matter of how much that person means to you, and whether it is worth it to you, and it was worth it to me. It got old and extremely hard to make plans, but that was the price you paid. Besides I kinda liked the time away, made the time we had together mean more.
As for the ppl that only put up with it for the money, well obviously those kind of ppl really aren't worth your so few hours you have to give. No one wants to be used as a paycheck or for their body so to speak. I fully believe that you will find someone, when u least likely expect it. Have faith, there are good ones out there. Its faustrating, but nothing worth having is ever easy.
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| 11/9/2007 11:27:04 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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minestar
Casper, WY
age: 21
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Thank You
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| 11/9/2007 11:28:24 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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jbsd78
San Diego, CA
age: 29
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Very well said.
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| 11/9/2007 11:29:21 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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Jbs..I agree with the long distance thing causing pain at times...its really hard to want to be with someone so much and be unable. But my life and circumstance right now..well, lets just say Im not suffering from lack of attention or opportunities, but my children and my job are priorities, and my choice is him, problems with LDR or not..take it one day at a time. and see what happens! If its meant to be, it will.
Putting my faith in the powers that be, and in my man. Its worth the risk.
Love is weird like that.
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| 11/9/2007 11:38:15 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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74d_instructor
Hudson, NH
age: 42
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I live the dating scene through DH...it's about all I have time for. Even at work I can find time to log in and check the forums.
It's tough when you become identified by your job rather than by who you are, but that's the life I'm living these days.
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| 11/9/2007 11:39:19 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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jbsd78
San Diego, CA
age: 29
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luvinglife - you rightfully have placed your children as your priorities. When I have children, I hope and expect to do the same.
But yes, not being with someone you really love, especially for protracted periods of time, truly sucks. It's something I try to avoid at all costs.
74 - Being that you're in the military, that's understandable. That must be one of the worst parts of serving. But thanks for you service.
[Edited 11/9/2007 11:40:36 PM]
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| 11/10/2007 12:19:40 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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metu
Dahlonega, GA
age: 46
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Yes.....my last B/F was a cop & also had a full- time commercial landscaping business. He was hot & great in the sack......11yrs younger than me....but I understood what he was doing with his life & accepted it.....simply told him that I could not wait around. We are still great friends.....just looking for someone who has a little more time.
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| 11/10/2007 12:27:29 PM |
When work gets in the way of dating |
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peachess
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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Being an ex Military Wife...Take any time you can get and make it count!
xoxoPeaches.
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