| 3/31/2009 10:45:26 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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suzydoll
Houston, TX
age: 65
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Source:
WebMD offers experts' sex tips for men who have sex with women.
By Martin F. Downs
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
Hey guys, think you know everything there is to know about having sex with women? That erotic encyclopedia you carry around in your head may contain a lot of basic errors and omissions about women's sexuality -- errors that can lead to sex mistakes.
That's because -- after learning the facts of life -- most of us are left to figure out sex for ourselves. Guys tend to take a lot of cues from adult movies, and we all know how true-to-life those are. Experience may help, but many women can be shy when talking about what they like.
To help us with some sex tips, WebMD asked two acclaimed sex educators, Tristan Taormino and Lou Paget, to tell us what they think are the most common sex mistakes men make with women.
Taormino is a prolific author, lecturer, and video producer. Her latest project is the Expert Guide educational video series from Vivid Ed.
Paget is author of The Great Lover Playbook and other sex manuals, and she gives seminars nationwide.
Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What She Wants
Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women. But women aren't all the same.
"You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person," Taormino says.
That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships, she says. "There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between."
Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All She Needs
Some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator.
"If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she's not broken," Taormino says.
Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. "While you're doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else," Taormino says.
Sex Mistake No. 3: Sex Feels the Same for Men and Women
Paget says there tends to be a "huge disconnect" between men and women in the ways that sex feels good.
"When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her," Paget says. "It couldn't be further from the truth."
The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long, "it feels like you're getting punched in the stomach," Paget says. "It makes you feel nauseous."
Sex Mistake No. 4: You Know Your Way Around a Woman's Anatomy
Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it. That's not to say that they really understand it.
More than 30 years ago, at the start of the "sexual revolution," a best-selling book called the Joy of Sex got Americans hip to the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women must be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration stubbornly persists.
"I still get letters from people who say things like, my wife can't [orgasm] from intercourse unless she has clitoral stimulation -- please help," Taormino says. "I want to write back and say, 'OK, what's the problem?'"
"For the majority of women, it's not going to happen that way," Paget says.
Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is, Taormino says.
A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.
How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Try asking her.
Sex Mistake No. 5: Wet = Turned On
Guys sometimes get hung up if a woman doesn't get slippery enough for easy penetration. Don't worry about it.
"I think there's a myth that if you're turned on, you're wet," Taormino says. Not necessarily.
Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it's subject to influences like stress and medications.
Sex Mistake No. 6: Silence Is Golden
A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what's doing it for you and what isn't.
If you're respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions.
"I'm not saying push her head in your lap," Taormino says. "I think that, 'this is how I like it,' is a very useful conversation to have."
PLEASE DON"T SHOOT THE MESSENGER IF YOU ARE NOT IN AGREEMENT WITH THE ARTICLE! 
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| 3/31/2009 11:30:32 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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unique14u
Roanoke, VA
age: 57
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thank you for the reminder .... its easy to get caught up in the moment and forget these sometimes !!
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| 3/31/2009 11:50:31 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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mrandy49
Stone Mountain, GA
age: 51
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I checked a NO on all 6. My wife was a sex educator/STD/public health worker. I got the tour early in our marriage. Saying that, I'm not convinced that IF I met someone new, all the old techniques apply. Sex is very personal, and subject to updates.
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| 3/31/2009 11:53:45 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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macjim
Colorado Springs, CO
age: 64
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I'm 63 and I know all these things.
Most men should know this by that age.
Are you writing this for us oldies, or younger men?
(CODE: are you a cougar?)
Oh, and most older women don't lubricate much or maybe not at all.
KY Sensual Silk is my favorite sexual lubricant! 
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| 3/31/2009 11:54:01 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 37
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I only need to know how I orgasm.
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| 3/31/2009 2:49:07 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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swfseekingswm
Durant, OK
age: 37
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I only need to know how I orgasm.
think about yourself much
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| 3/31/2009 11:31:07 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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analogman
Belfair, WA
age: 59
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At 57 Im getting the hang of things and yes it all still works. but every woman is different and unless you comunicate your needs wants and desires, are both well aquainted with your bodies and very open to stimulation then its all a shot in the dark.!
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| 4/1/2009 7:41:56 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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badpet
Jonesboro, GA
age: 46
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# 6a Don't flush the condom throw it away they clog up toilet lines
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| 4/1/2009 9:17:32 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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ic2beyurs2
Kingman, AZ
age: 50
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I dont do clinical sex.......I communicate
but by all means you just keep reading your articles
I will be having sex instead
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| 4/1/2009 9:22:43 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 37
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think about yourself much
Ya. All the time. Problem?
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| 4/1/2009 9:27:59 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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doublesaint
Altoona, PA
age: 64
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Oh yeah... 
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| 4/1/2009 10:38:32 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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plainjoe1
Houston, TX
age: 60
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Suzydoll is correct.
U must ask questions,
talk during sex,
and go with what your confortable with when with a new lady.
Or,
She'll never invite u back for seconds.
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| 4/1/2009 10:52:33 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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swfseekingswm
Durant, OK
age: 37
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Ya. All the time. Problem?
Nope....no problem....sorry for you....but no problem...
I get enjoyment know that he's enjoying himself...but if he's not thinking about anything but himself....they have novelties for that....and I'm not needed.
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| 4/2/2009 1:13:16 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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sammael
Colorado Springs, CO
age: 35
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I've been saying all of that for years . I think that the biggest problem is that most partners don't talk about what turns them on or off . Yes , that does mean going into graphic detail , I.E. how she likes oral and why , what positions and why . A man has to be attuned to his partner , he has to learn that a woman can go from 120 to 0 in a heartbeat . And no single encounter is going to be identicle to any previous encounter . Even if you've been with the same partner for 20 years .
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| 4/2/2009 3:57:39 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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buttsmaker
Paducah, KY
age: 68
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I don't make MISTAKES, I thought I did once, but I was wrong.     
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| 4/2/2009 6:24:39 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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special1too
Rockford, IL
age: 37
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I totally agree with this. What worked for one partner doesn't always work for another.
If you can't communicate likes and dislikes then the bedroom won't be a fulfilling place for either of you.
Great Post
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| 4/2/2009 6:38:08 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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selfdestruction
Winchester, CA
age: 41
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Communication between sexual partners is worth its weight in gold..... If you're not comfortable communicating with each other about sexual likes and dislikes you're most likely not right for each other.....
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| 4/2/2009 10:31:20 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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k_tothe_c
Las Vegas, NV
age: 41
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Mistake #7: ...reading all of that crap!
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| 4/2/2009 11:00:09 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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alan272
East Helena, MT
age: 53
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Mistake #7
Forgetting to write down her name on a notepad.
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| 4/2/2009 11:37:48 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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imseddy
Dodgeville, WI
age: 47
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Apparently some men can't take the thought of not doing it right so they ridicule to ease their minds.
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| 4/2/2009 1:11:56 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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wanting_you
Toledo, OH
age: 48
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I don't make those mistakes
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| 4/2/2009 1:25:04 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 37
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Apparently some men can't take the thought of not doing it right so they ridicule to ease their minds.
I don't care if I am doing it right.. women are for my pleasure.
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| 4/2/2009 2:36:01 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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brandonn1971
Spokane, WA
age: 39
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what is a mistake??????
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| 4/2/2009 5:58:40 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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tichobar
Sarasota, FL
age: 35
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Nothing turns sex into a chore better than a list of things to follow.
Anyway, you can do all of that crap and she'll be thinking "He better take me someplace nice" through the whole process.
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| 4/3/2009 2:09:04 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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retired_fireman
Louisville, KY
age: 61
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I don't care if I am doing it right.. women are for my pleasure.
And that is why you are alone. I am here because of circumstances beyond my control. Any woman that dates you will not return. Pleasing a woman is about what happens in the bedroom as well as out. Communication is the key to any long lasting relationship. Guys you will find out soon enough. Or you will end up like me-about to approach 60 and still living alone. It took 2 failed marriages for me to see the light. Now it may be to late for me. But unless you make her the prioity in your relationship, instead of being all about tou, then you too will be alone jerky off to porn for the rest of you life. Only a women with low self esteem would be with some one that treats her like an object. Instead of someone to be admired, loved and cared for. You guys dont get it and never will. Or a lest not with out paying for it.
A relationship is like a bank account. If you dont make any deposits you wont be able to make any withdrawls either. Time, attention, affection, caring and interest in her will give huge rewards later. When your old and sitting on the porch swing you wont be able to get it up any more. Do you want to be alone then too? No one to talk to. No one to remember the good times you had together over the years. If you dont make memories now you will have none to recall later. And beleive me being alone is not all that good.
So if you men think that women are put here on this earth for your pleasure you are missing a great opportunity to have a better life. All the money in the world will never make you really happy. No amount of sex for hire will either. And jerky off only feels good for a short while. Only the emotional connection of two people in love will make you happy. When you can see how much she loves you when you look into her eyes makes it all worth while. But you dont want romance or a relationship. All you want is sex. Even the pleasure of sex does not last long. Better get used to being alone. Cause it will be all you know till they put you in the ground.
Ladies do not judge all men by this jerk. There are some very good hearted men out here. You just have to go after them. Dont wait for them to find you. Find them now. And dont bother with idiots like him. He is not worth your time or effort.
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| 4/3/2009 2:11:05 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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retired_fireman
Louisville, KY
age: 61
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Nothing turns sex into a chore better than a list of things to follow.
Anyway, you can do all of that crap and she'll be thinking "He better take me someplace nice" through the whole process.
You dont have to remember a list. But you do need to make her a prority in the bedroom. If you do then all the other things will fall into place eventually with communication.
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| 4/3/2009 2:19:00 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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retired_fireman
Louisville, KY
age: 61
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Men you are thinking of this all wrong. It is not about mistakes you make. It is about learning a new way of doing the same thing. For instance, I drove a car and a fire truck for almost 20 years. Then I retired and drove an 18 wheeler. I had to learn to drive differently because the vehicle was nothing like a car or a fire truck. I corners differently. It accelerates and stops slower. So I had to learn to drive all over. It was the same road. Same trips in the same direction. But I had to learn to drive it differently. Sex with different women is very similar. But it is a different women. She reacts differently to things you do. Her needs are different and her pleasures are different. If you make her pleasure your goal then it will work out. And the only way to learn how to please her is to ask. Talking in a respectfully manner never hurt anyone.
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| 4/3/2009 3:53:32 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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noredneckhere
Knoxville, TN
age: 50
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Shit, just take her to a swingers club.
At the end of the night, everyones happy.
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| 4/3/2009 3:56:48 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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stormygrl
Denver, CO
age: 44
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| 4/3/2009 4:00:46 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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tulio11
Greensboro, NC
age: 57
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number one mistake women make good sex doesn't = LOVE
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| 4/5/2009 2:35:20 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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ladylove918
Jacksonville, FL
age: 54
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retired fireman...would you consider moving to Florida??? So far, I haven't met any men as wise as you in this subject!! 
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| 4/5/2009 4:24:34 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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gun82
Paris, TX
age: 28
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interesting message.
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| 4/5/2009 4:36:02 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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imseddy
Dodgeville, WI
age: 47
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evil your such a pig, as many men are. Because of men like you the good ones stand less and less a chance.
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| 4/5/2009 9:46:29 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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ffmathis112
England, AR
age: 33
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evil keep being alone
[Edited 4/5/2009 9:48:02 PM ]
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| 4/5/2009 9:58:33 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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kd8hho
Anderson, IN
age: 28
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i since some lulz in this thread
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| 4/6/2009 8:19:07 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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kevin99999
Oshkosh, WI
age: 42
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evil your such a pig, as many men are. Because of men like you the good ones stand less and less a chance.
don't take him seriously he only does it to get a rise out of you people...I see it worked
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| 4/7/2009 6:52:32 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 37
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evil your such a pig, as many men are. Because of men like you the good ones stand less and less a chance.
Mission accomplished!
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| 4/7/2009 6:59:42 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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tar_to_the_heel
Greensboro, NC
age: 34
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evil your such a pig, as many men are. Because of men like you the good ones stand less and less a chance.
Who cares about the good ones?
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| 4/7/2009 7:09:39 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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raen
Sunman, IN
age: 41
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i am a trusting and honest individual...men sometimes believe if a woman has a male friends she is f**king him...........not true.
faith........i know that if things are meant to be it will happen and i have faith....alot of men i have met dont believe this
openness..........i want to know what is going on.........good or bad.
dont read my mind, ask me if ur concerned.
[Edited 4/7/2009 7:10:12 AM ]
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| 4/7/2009 8:19:40 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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robtest
Norcross, GA
age: 49
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evil your such a pig, as many men are. Because of men like you the good ones stand less and less a chance.
Bad thought pattern... Don't let the last one ruin your chances with the next one!
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| 4/7/2009 8:53:42 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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phoenix52
Milwaukee, WI
age: 58
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It's all about communications, really
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| 4/7/2009 5:04:58 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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imseddy
Dodgeville, WI
age: 47
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As with my comment so is true for evils, there is an underlying reason for making it. Maybe you are a pig wannabe?
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| 4/7/2009 6:11:50 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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globalgolfer
Reynoldsburg, OH
age: 61
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I agree with all those who spoke about the importance of communication. I also agree with your statement in your opening paragraph that reads "...but, many women can be shy when talking about what they like." So, if that is the case then most of the information contained in the article will not help those of us (men) who are genuinely eager to please our mate.
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| 4/7/2009 6:38:42 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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mrguidry1965
Blum, TX
age: 45
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i'M 44 AND i AGREE
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| 4/7/2009 7:07:26 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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anglekisses12
Nampa, ID
age: 61
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I think what you said is so right. You said it beautifully. Thank you
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| 4/7/2009 7:48:35 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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horsepassion
Altura, MN
age: 41
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I agree that communication is important. Also the overall relationship is important. If we are not feeling loved emotionally the sex is not as good. Most women who are loved with your whole heart will give you a lot more in bed and not just do it to get it over with.
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| 4/7/2009 8:00:38 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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scottiscool
Mayville, WI
age: 52
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OK , You just tell me what I have to do to get you off.! We are not mind readers. !! I will work overtime till the job is done.!!........SCOTT
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| 4/7/2009 8:07:36 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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horsepassion
Altura, MN
age: 41
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Romance is good. Respect, and again the communication. Oh and we like to be the most important thing in your life. Can't live life without the one you are with. Emotional connections are a huge part of a love connection that has the ability to meet both needs. Women need to be loved unconditionally forever with spice so we don't get too bored. Yeah I know it sounds like it can't be achieved. It can. Just don't forget her emotioal needs as well as physical.
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| 4/7/2009 8:13:57 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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lukus41
Spring City, PA
age: 47
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evil your such a pig, as many men are. Because of men like you the good ones stand less and less a chance.
WHAT TO LAND WOMEN LIKE YOU!!!
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| 4/7/2009 8:54:04 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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ricki1951
Sun City, CA
age: 59
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Retired_fireman, You are very full of wisdom and Evil you are an ass.  Every thread you respond too, you say something negitive. How come you are so mean? Do you get off on degrading women? If everyone thought like you fireman, there would be more happy people and more lasting relationships. Thanks for the advise, I learned something new today.Ricki
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| 4/10/2009 2:21:03 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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septjan
Lake Benton, MN
age: 50
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a lot of men think different than you women do but what you say is the truth . men are different esp. those who grew up without a sister to know about a womens feelings
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| 4/10/2009 3:08:30 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 37
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Retired_fireman, You are very full of wisdom and Evil you are an ass. Every thread you respond too, you say something negitive. How come you are so mean? Do you get off on degrading women?
How come yer so sensitive and clueless about the real world around you?
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| 4/10/2009 7:56:53 PM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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imseddy
Dodgeville, WI
age: 47
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I think evil and lucass would make a good pair ahhaaha. Llllllammmmmmme!
[Edited 4/10/2009 7:57:22 PM ]
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| 4/11/2009 12:37:45 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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ricki1951
Sun City, CA
age: 59
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I am no way clueless about the world around me. Been there , done that, you just always have to sound so hard Evil, Why?
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| 4/11/2009 2:59:21 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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voevode
Seattle, WA
age: 57
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I only need to know how I orgasm.
Have patience, my son—someday you will know!
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| 4/11/2009 3:22:26 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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marqeye
Kent, OH
age: 35
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The only thing I have to add, it's unfair that a women can have 20 orgasms in a session and a man is lucky to have 2 or 3....
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| 4/11/2009 4:53:44 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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tichobar
Sarasota, FL
age: 35
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You dont have to remember a list. But you do need to make her a prority in the bedroom. If you do then all the other things will fall into place eventually with communication.
Aren't you that guy in the Grinch cartoon with the wiskers singing at the end?
Go back to Whoville.
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| 4/11/2009 5:59:58 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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funtoday4us
Mentor, OH
age: 47
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Counting how many orgasm's a woman has enjoyed and will continue to enjoy...she has no control over it ~ game over  
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| 4/11/2009 11:14:27 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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zsmoove1
Jacksonville, FL
age: 53
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hmm very interesting comments from the ladies,keep it coming, i'll use it, trying to put just one of you on lockdown, this is very good info, i guess i'm different, i have made mistakes, but i'm also willing to learn
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| 4/11/2009 11:18:31 AM |
6 Sex Mistakes Men Make |
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longlastingwife
Grand Rapids, MI
age: 36
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only six?
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