dreamsofhoney
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 52
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The Zen of Sarcasm
>
>
> 01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
> for I may not follow.. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
> leave me alone.
>
>
>
> 02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
> leaky tire.
>
>
>
> 03. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
> your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it..
>
>
>
> 04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
> promoted.
>
>
>
> 05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
>
>
>
> 06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>
>
>
> 07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
> car payments.
>
>
>
> 08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
> That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their
> shoes.
>
>
>
> 09 . If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
>
>
>
> 10 . Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
> fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .
>
>
>
> 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
> probably a wise investment.
>
>
>
> 12 . If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
>
>
>
> 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
>
>
>
> 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>
>
>
> 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
> it back in your pocket.
>
>
>
> 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>
>
>
> 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,
> and it holds the universe together..
>
>
>
> 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>
>
>
> 19 . Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
> moving .
>
>
>
> 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
>
>
>
>
> 21 . Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>
> AND
>
>
> 22 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
> laxative at the same time!
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uglybeast
Spokane, WA
age: 52
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When absolutely no one is hearing what your saying pull a gun and get their absolute attention.
If you've gone through life unnoticed one day sit in a pile of shit before you go out.
If your not quite sure it's your wife having sex with your neighbor call out her name loudly through the window.
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beverduster
Chandler, OK
age: 64 online now!
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baw8324
Kahoka, MO
age: 26
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honeypoo123
Eastpointe, MI
age: 59
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