Losing husband and son in less than a year?

4/2/2009 4:47:04 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
sneakers20 Portage, IN age: 57	I lost my husband in May of 2008, he was a step father to my 35 yr old son, my son died in an accident on Feb. 6, 2009, a lot of grief to deal with, each grief is different, I am going to counseling and it is helping me, but I was wondering if anyone had any other suggestions for me? I never imagined I would lose my son so soon, he had just gotten on track with his life and found a very nice lady he wanted to marry, just doesn't make sense,
4/2/2009 5:47:47 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
3crosses Alamogordo, NM age: 52	sneakers, so sorry for your loss. I don't have any great words of wisdom for you at this time, but I know the lord has a plan and we just have to trust in that. I lost my husband March 6, 2008 and my mother in law April 26, 2008, my step dad in Feb, 2007, so like you I had many losses too close together. I know they are in a better place, fully healed and no longer in pain. I have to make my way in this life that I have now. I am doing whatever I need to stay busy and make my life happy. Come to this forum and we will lift you up when you need it. So many of these people have come to my rescue, and all the while, they are also grieving for their losses. May you soon find the peace in your many memories.
4/2/2009 5:54:47 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
sneakers20 Portage, IN age: 57	Thank you 3crosses, for your kind words, I have read many responses in this group and they have helped tremendously, thanks again for being a friend,
4/3/2009 5:55:38 AM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
unesis5 Chicago, IL age: 60	Hi I am very sorry for your loss. wish I could say that I know how you, feel..but I don't only you, knows that,,you, know I've always believe that everything happens for a reason, and you, have to be brave and try to keep going,,you're still a young woman..there's still a lot for you, to do. again am so sorry for your loss, take care.. ......Alex........
4/3/2009 6:41:11 AM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
lakc Houston, TX age: 49	My 80 year old grandmother sat in a funeral home and cried when her 60 year old son passed away. It is not right to bury a child. Your losses are different but losses nonetheless and no doubt difficult to handle. We listen and we can give you "cyber" hugs....each day is a new one.....try to see its beauty. KC
4/3/2009 3:50:39 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
sneakers20 Portage, IN age: 57	Thank you Alex and KC, you guys are great, everyone's support really lifts me up and I appreciate it so much, I love reading in this group, I don't post very much, but I am around and truly enjoy listening to everyone's advice, it has helped me tremendously, love to you all
4/3/2009 6:39:12 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
vale42 Findlay, OH age: 51	sneakers,,,,,,my heart goes out to you my dear,,, i lost my little boy he was 9 yrs old back in 1992 of a heart problem we never knew he had,,,,,,,,,my late hubby died in aug of 06 ,,, then my dad died 3 months and 3 days later in nov of 06,,,,,,so i can honestly say i know how you feel even though there was a huge gap in the years,,,,,,we should never have to bury a child ,,, your children are supposed to bury us,,,,,,,good luck and be with people who love you always helps,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
4/5/2009 12:45:30 AM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
wcfl10 Joliet, IL age: 58	I send all my care to you. You have been a wonderful web partner. The rainbow's are on their way.
4/5/2009 6:26:08 AM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
lil_rebel Shepherdsville, KY age: 40	Well I've heard it said; "When you lose a parent you lose your past." "When you lose a spouse you lose your present." "When you lose a child you lose your future." I too, like someone mentioned believe everything does in fact happen/not happen for a reason. It's trying to figure out the reason that drives you nuts..... and life not being like a reference book you can't just go look up a cause/reason/answer but usally it seems to unfold over time. The only definite in the equasion is that they are gone. No one can take the past/memories from you , they are yours. The present and the future are only temporarily lost, and yours to ultimately determine. For some it means being around people, staying busy, while for others it means isolation at least for a time. There are no set time tables, right or wrongs, everyone is different and has their own coping mechanisims and although at times it may seem over whelming life never throws us more than we can handle. You can look at the entire flight but remember it can only be assended/decended ONE STEP at a time. Peace
4/5/2009 8:31:55 AM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
3crosses Alamogordo, NM age: 52	Quote from lil_rebel: Well I've heard it said; "When you lose a parent you lose your past." "When you lose a spouse you lose your present." "When you lose a child you lose your future." I too, like someone mentioned believe everything does in fact happen/not happen for a reason. It's trying to figure out the reason that drives you nuts..... and life not being like a reference book you can't just go look up a cause/reason/answer but usally it seems to unfold over time. The only definite in the equasion is that they are gone. No one can take the past/memories from you , they are yours. The present and the future are only temporarily lost, and yours to ultimately determine. For some it means being around people, staying busy, while for others it means isolation at least for a time. There are no set time tables, right or wrongs, everyone is different and has their own coping mechanisims and although at times it may seem over whelming life never throws us more than we can handle. You can look at the entire flight but remember it can only be assended/decended ONE STEP at a time. Peace So very well said Peace and happiness be with us all
4/5/2009 9:07:05 AM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
bonnie1956 Sioux Falls, SD age: 53	Quote from lil_rebel: Well I've heard it said; "When you lose a parent you lose your past." "When you lose a spouse you lose your present." "When you lose a child you lose your future." I too, like someone mentioned believe everything does in fact happen/not happen for a reason. It's trying to figure out the reason that drives you nuts..... and life not being like a reference book you can't just go look up a cause/reason/answer but usally it seems to unfold over time. The only definite in the equasion is that they are gone. No one can take the past/memories from you , they are yours. The present and the future are only temporarily lost, and yours to ultimately determine. For some it means being around people, staying busy, while for others it means isolation at least for a time. There are no set time tables, right or wrongs, everyone is different and has their own coping mechanisims and although at times it may seem over whelming life never throws us more than we can handle. You can look at the entire flight but remember it can only be assended/decended ONE STEP at a time. Peace Oh, I liked that answer!! I lost my dad June 19 of 2000, the morning my first husband came out of open heart surgery. I thought that was the worst day of my life, loosing a parent and not being able to tell my husband while he was in ICU. Trying to be with family making plans and with my husband when he needed me at the same time. Then March of 2001 I lost my husband.. New Worst day! Now you have lived my worst fear of loosing a child!! I can only say if I did not have the FAITH(Forsaking All I Trust Him) I do.. I would not have survived! I have those words on the back of my vehicle. Just know that if you have the Faith.. you will be given the strength to handle even this trial! Prayers are with you. I wrote this after my husband passed for a couple that sang at his funeral.. she lost him that next Christmas morning. I've used it for cards ever since. In Deepest Sympathy There are no words That I could say, That would dare persume Take your pain away. Lean hard on your family, Friends and Cherrished Memories For NOW is the reason God gave you these. Bonnie
4/5/2009 5:32:47 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
sneakers20 Portage, IN age: 57	Hi everyone, to Vale, lil rebel, bonnie, and wcfl10, you guys are so fantastic, I have no words to express how truly wonderful your words of encouragement and hope have been to me, each one of you I sincerely thank you and wish for you all the very best in your lives, knowing that we all can reach out and help one another is a wonderful blessing and if anyone would like to talk to me or has a problem and you may need someone to listen, I am here for anyone, anytime. God Bless All of You Abundantly!!
7/12/2009 12:54:28 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
letsplay54143 Marinette, WI age: 61	Go out and mingle and do things, do things, do things. Stay busy, and when ever possible stay busy with other people. Do not wear your widows badge when you are out, just be another one of the group. When you are out shopping take a moment to talk to the clerk and try to think of something to make them smile. When you make others smile, you will star to smile to and then you become happy. It takes a real effort at first, but it will get to be a habbit. The only way to get on with your life is to live it to the fullest. Take a lesson from your tragedy. None of us know how long we will be here so enjoy every day of what you have.
7/12/2009 6:11:32 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
looking4_prince Twin Falls, ID age: 56	There is no way to share your grief...But I do know the lonliness and can share that...I lost my brother..my husband..my father..and my step-daughter..all within 16 months ...I do try and stay busy.That is what helps the most...I let the tears flow when they come ,but I'm never quite sure who they're for...just for me,I guess...All I know for sure is that they are in a better place,and God knows best.I know..great cliches-huh ?The lonliness is fading..and this group helps more than I could imagine...The hugs and caring are always on-going...So here is a special hug for you..and know that we are here for you...Carol
7/13/2009 7:59:52 PM	Losing husband and son in less than a year?
25meme25 Red Lion, PA age: 63	Oh my gosh Sneakers.....what can anyone say to you. I have lost my entire family. Mother, Father, Brother and Husband.... Mother and Husband on the same day...different year. It has been a lot to bear, but it is my belief that they are with their Heavenly Father that gives me peace and understanding. It is so hard to find your way in life when you have had such a loss. Please know that there are a lot of people that care and understand. Lean on family and friends and all of us on DH. God bless.

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