| 5/9/2009 7:33:21 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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nannettemarie
El Paso, TX
age: 50
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Do you think one can find their perfect mate after a long marriage ending in a dovorce? I am seeking my new best friend. Are you out there?
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| 5/9/2009 8:07:48 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 52
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Maybe within time...how often does this happen? 
I do know that after a marriage, the next guy in your life..it doesnt seem to work its that rebound thing that happens.
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| 5/9/2009 8:13:41 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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sea_1
Mesa, AZ
age: 57
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Just how I am going to find the perfect mate when I am surrounded my dirty old 80 yr men. ..but hey they think I am sexy as all hell though...gots to luv 'em though........Sea
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| 5/9/2009 8:30:21 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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nannettemarie
El Paso, TX
age: 50
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Thats funny. Being over 40 it seems that guys in the 30's think we are sexy. But guys near our age,some want women my kids age. There must be some real people out there.
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| 5/9/2009 8:32:28 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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musicdesign
Rocky Hill, CT
age: 49
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Thats funny. Being over 40 it seems that guys in the 30's think we are sexy. But guys near our age,some want women my kids age. There must be some real people out there.
So true. Been running into this myself. Many 40+ want women much younger.
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| 5/9/2009 8:33:53 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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life13021
Auburn, NY
age: 63 online now!
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 after viewing your profile I don't think you will have any trouble, Peace
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| 5/9/2009 8:34:50 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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nannettemarie
El Paso, TX
age: 50
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Done the younger guy thing for a while but it got old
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| 5/9/2009 8:39:02 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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nannettemarie
El Paso, TX
age: 50
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Thats sweet, thank you
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| 5/9/2009 8:42:12 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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doreen1111
Brenham, TX
age: 46
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Of course you can!!! Just don't get too anxious and you'll be fine!!! There are still good guys out there... they're just a little harder to find! 
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| 5/9/2009 8:47:31 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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suzeq103
Leesburg, VA
age: 54
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It can happen, just be careful. When we try too hard during the looking phase, we are very vulnerable and make bad choices. Devise yourself a description (not physical) of what you are looking for and adapt it as needed. You know, kind, caring, mannerly, etc.
Try to stick to it. Make sure you deviate once in a while for a little spice.
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| 5/9/2009 8:48:31 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 49
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Well, don't go looking for "Mr. Right" right away. If you're into that sort of thing, look for "Mr. Right Now." (I never saw the point in that, but many do, and I'm not one to judge -- just not my cup of tea.)
Me, I'm happy to make a new friend that has enough interests in common to form a basis for shared activities and enough different from mine to be interesting. If it leads to more, then great, if not, then not.
And, FWIW, I prefer women 40-50, who've raised (or are still raising, but not very young) kids, as they could relate to the trials and tribulations I have raising mine.
[Edited 5/9/2009 8:56:00 AM ]
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| 5/9/2009 8:49:04 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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beu24
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 51
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Very possible, Ive been married and divorce 3 times and I plan to get married again. You just have to make sure you are ready for a different realtionship. No 2 men are the same.
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| 5/9/2009 8:53:33 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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nannettemarie
El Paso, TX
age: 50
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Great answers, I agree, quality is better than quantity, especially in people
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| 5/9/2009 9:17:41 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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wildbluemist
Battle Mountain, NV
age: 49
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Yes its alot easier than you think provided you take the right attitude.When you get to california you'll find a much larger selection.
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| 5/9/2009 10:32:07 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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ima_pir8
Fairbanks, AK
age: 50
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Not all guys are looking for young women. But being a 49yo guy, I can say that many women around my age haven't taken care of themself (I know, many guys haven't either..but I'm not looking for a guy). This internet thing is definitely requires physical attraction first, because we don't know the other person. The other thing, at least for me and I hate to admit this, but as I near 50, it's kind of tough to come to grips with the fact that we're not the athletes we used to be, etc. I can't speak for other guys...but that may be why they're looking for someone younger. I've been out with younger women, but there's really nothing in common....I prefer someone who's owned an 8-Track!
One last thing....again, from my own experience, I've felt like I've been interviewing for a husband position...too serious. I just want to go out with someone, have fun and get to know them, without the pressure of being Mr. Right...although I am, I just don't want the pressure
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| 5/9/2009 10:37:09 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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beu24
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 51
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Not all guys are looking for young women. But being a 49yo guy, I can say that many women around my age haven't taken care of themself (I know, many guys haven't either..but I'm not looking for a guy). This internet thing is definitely requires physical attraction first, because we don't know the other person. The other thing, at least for me and I hate to admit this, but as I near 50, it's kind of tough to come to grips with the fact that we're not the athletes we used to be, etc. I can't speak for other guys...but that may be why they're looking for someone younger. I've been out with younger women, but there's really nothing in common....I prefer someone who's owned an 8-Track!
One last thing....again, from my own experience, I've felt like I've been interviewing for a husband position...too serious. I just want to go out with someone, have fun and get to know them , without the pressure of being Mr. Right...although I am, I just don't want the pressure
I disagree I am fab-u-lous for 50. And can run rings around a 20, 30 even 40 year old woman.
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| 5/9/2009 10:40:20 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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nocrapallowed
Knoxville, TN
age: 49
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Find ANOTHER mate ???????????
I find mating too much fun fer that.
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| 5/9/2009 10:49:58 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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ima_pir8
Fairbanks, AK
age: 50
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Beu24....I bet you can. I didn't say ALL women....I said many. I also included guys too.
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| 5/10/2009 7:06:06 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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nannettemarie
El Paso, TX
age: 50
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Mate being defined as a best friend, no matter where one lives there are people to meet, and of course the larger the city , the more choices, and also things to do.
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| 5/10/2009 8:10:04 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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sunshinia62
Miami, FL
age: 48
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Divorcing after 26 yrs of marriage, I see how tough the dating scene is out there. Men my age just seem to want a younger woman or they want a Barbie. Things have change alot over the years. I'm not looking for a husband, just someone to start slow and see where it goes from there. 
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| 5/10/2009 8:22:06 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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nannettemarie
El Paso, TX
age: 50
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Thats a good attitude I agree
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| 5/10/2009 8:33:23 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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navymom65
Hillsdale, MI
age: 43
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Having come out of a divorce and taking time for me... I know what I do nto want!! And yes I believe that you can find your best friend and be happy. However some very good points many men are looking for younger. The over 40 years are alot harder. However I honestly think it will happen when you least expect it. And I know that all men are different...
Good Luck to everyone on finding that special someone...
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| 5/10/2009 8:59:18 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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busaride
Janesville, WI
age: 65
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Just a word from the old guy. Been there, done that, got the "t" shirt.
I was married 30 years when it ended. I've known a number of men and women, myself included, who have both been in relationships or have remarried - some multiple times. None have been successful until they've honestly come to terms with themselves first. If you have relationships that don't last, or are unsatisfactory, its god's little way of telling you "it's you, not them".
None of us are perfect, but if you own your faults then at least you can work around them while you work to eliminate them. Then the worst thing that can happen is that you like yourself, which is different that being satisfied with yourself. And then, and only then, good things happen, maybe not what you thought would happen, but still good.
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| 5/10/2009 9:05:54 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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lotstdo
Henderson, NV
age: 49
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perfection isnot now nor has it ever been possible
its a state of mind.........and women constantly change their mind
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| 5/15/2009 8:05:47 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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joeg37
Batavia, OH
age: 39
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Yes you will find someone .I thought the same thing that i wouldn't find anyone it took 2 years but I have found her here and it is a blessing.She is fun to be around and she makes me warm and fuzzy inside.I didn't think I could feel that way again .So if I can find that special someone.So can you just take it nice and slow and it will happen.Good things come to those that wait.It is just the wait that takes the longest.Well I hope this helps you.Good luck in your search.We good guys are out there.Just keep looking he is there somewhere
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| 5/15/2009 8:08:36 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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bucktail
Poynette, WI
age: 49
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miracles do happen
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| 5/15/2009 8:10:24 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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dreamcatcher696
Plainview, TX
age: 31
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i amright here... ohh wait u might not be into younger men...
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| 5/15/2009 9:16:53 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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gjlonelyman
Grand Junction, CO
age: 52
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Many men look for just looks/sex appeal..if they find it in younger women, so be it. You want a man that will make you happy, make sure he wants you for what is most important. A kind, caring heart, a loving soul and monogomous. A mate can be found, you just have to sift through the caca to find the pony, so to speak.
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| 5/15/2009 9:30:35 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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msbevzie
Oregon, OH
age: 47
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Just a word from the old guy. Been there, done that, got the "t" shirt.
I was married 30 years when it ended. I've known a number of men and women, myself included, who have both been in relationships or have remarried - some multiple times. None have been successful until they've honestly come to terms with themselves first. If you have relationships that don't last, or are unsatisfactory, its god's little way of telling you "it's you, not them".
None of us are perfect, but if you own your faults then at least you can work around them while you work to eliminate them. Then the worst thing that can happen is that you like yourself, which is different that being satisfied with yourself. And then, and only then, good things happen, maybe not what you thought would happen, but still good.
WELL put...
I must say...YOU look very handsome for YOUR age!
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| 5/15/2009 9:34:46 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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lilmissala1957
Hartselle, AL
age: 53
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I still have hope. Don't know how long you have been divorced but take time to get to know you before you jump into anything. I had to learn what I liked and didn't like and how I felt about things because I had let men in my life control me so much. I sure do like me now!!!
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| 5/15/2009 10:17:45 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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mad4
Manassas, VA
age: 65
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Sunshine you are so right. But being in your 60s is so hard. The men my age are looking for younger women 20 years younger. Beats me we are retired, no children, finincially secure, no baggage, have all the time in the world for them, can get ready to travel anywhere within 10 minutes and are not interested in possesions.
Time is something we have plenty of.
I see so many of us on here looking for the same things.
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| 5/15/2009 10:23:04 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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mad4
Manassas, VA
age: 65
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Thanks lonley man.
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| 5/15/2009 10:29:41 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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barbaraajo
Reston, VA
age: 54
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I think it IS possible
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| 5/15/2009 6:17:26 PM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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busaride
Janesville, WI
age: 65
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WELL put...
I must say...YOU look very handsome for YOUR age!
Thanks - and I've used this before -
but it's kinda like being the tallest midget in the circus, isn't it??
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| 5/15/2009 6:56:23 PM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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newuser09
Davis, CA
age: 28
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You're a woman, you still have a chance. You'll always find someone. For men, nope.
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| 5/16/2009 5:45:45 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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ttex1969
Walker, LA
age: 41
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I've been trying to answer this question myself for a few of years now, so far the answer is no, but today is anouther day!
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| 5/16/2009 6:10:01 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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yourfriendbob
Fayette, OH
age: 56
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Why would anyone want to run out of a burning building just to sit on the front porch and play with matches?
Playmate? Sure, in a heartbeat.
First Mate? Maybe if I had a boat.
Primate? Most seem to resemble one.
I'll think about a "mate" when I get too old for anything more interesting...
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| 5/16/2009 6:10:20 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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joeg37
Batavia, OH
age: 39
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You're a woman, you still have a chance. You'll always find someone. For men, nope.
That is so not true i was married for 5 years i know it doesnt sound long but she left and i didnt think i would find any one and i found someone who makes me happier than my wife did.So for men to find someone it just takes longer but not impossilbe
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| 5/16/2009 11:16:57 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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rocket000
Suwanee, GA
age: 52
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I agree with suzieq. It's too easy to get involved when you're vulnerable. I speak at a support group for women going through different stages of divorce, separation and widowhood. There is a high incidence of a second failed marriages. Why? The women were vulnerable, afraid to be alone, afraid they couldn't make it financially. If you had a long term marriage it could/should/will take several years for you to really "be ready" for a relationship. That doesn't mean you shouldn't "date".
We as women often give away our power. Don't be so anxious for another relationship that you put too much effort into making something "work" that isn't "WORTH making work".
Take the time to regroup. Have you undergone counseling or joined a support group for divorcing women? Learn how your actions and behaviors contributed to the demise of your marriage(Even if HE was a lying, cheating drunk). Were you a nag, enabler, passive aggressive, a doormat??? If you'd like companionship, consider a housemate and adopting a dog.
When dating, make certain you don't repeat certain behaviors or try to "save" the alcoholic, continually out of work, it's always someone else's fault kind of guy.
Pay attention and take it slow. Be strong and wise enough to be able to say, "this guy doesn't bring enough to the table(whether mentally, emotionally, spiritually, educationally, etc." and move on.
Good luck to you.
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| 5/16/2009 11:39:11 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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steven030463
Newton Falls, OH
age: 47
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I believe that just because I was married to my ex doesn't mean she was my true mate. If she was then we wouldn't have got a divorce. I had a soulmate once, I don't know in the future if I'll ever find that kind of woman again. But I believe someone out there is a true mate to me and maybe someday I can find her. I'm hopeing she will be a soulmate like I had before. If not I can still love her just as much. Knowone is going to be perfect to you. But that should never stop you from loving her as much as you can give in your whole life and heart and soul.... She's just a person like everyone else that deserves that.
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| 5/17/2009 6:59:19 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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ttex1969
Walker, LA
age: 41
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You might have a better chance of making it through hell in gasoline underwear, if my experience is any indication!
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| 5/19/2009 2:43:01 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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joshypoo9
Las Vegas, NV
age: 39
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I do know that after a marriage, the next guy in your life..it doesnt seem to work its that rebound thing that happens.
This usually happens with relationships too, doesnt it? what I mean is....I've seen all too often where women/men will be dating someone, then "all of a sudden" they're dating someone else, within a short amount of time, they're then married to that person. That, too is a "rebound" and usually, they almost NEVER last. The man thinks he can rescue the girl, who believes him @ first, but then things start to settle, and he realizes not only cant he "rescue her". but he wants nothing to do with her also. She feels the same way, and then their marriage is in the shitter.
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| 5/19/2009 2:51:11 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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paisley51
Rochester, NY
age: 52
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The best relationship for each person I think would be someone close to your age, beliefs,
life experience, and have similar goals for the future. I don't think extremes in
in any of these areas will work out in the long run..
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| 5/19/2009 11:08:45 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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dirtydon301
Silver Spring, MD
age: 37
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I think that it's possible to find another mate after divorce it just takes a while. I have been divorce for about 3.5yrs and it took me about 2 of those years to stop finding myself comparing women I have dated with my ex. the good and the bad. Some times we just have to be completely over our previous mate to find the right mate.
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| 5/19/2009 11:16:27 AM |
Finding another mate after a divorce? |
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gibbiexx
Grayling, MI
age: 39
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I don't possibly think there is one perfect mate for every one. I'm sure there are many decent possibilities for us all, it's a matter of finding and then sorting through them for the most compatible/keeping yourself open. 
I wonder about the people chasing their 'fated.' I think it keeps them scrutinizing harder, such a lofty thing, imagining one person is perfect for us? Just doesn't help, I don't think in keep some of these threads grounded.
[Edited 5/19/2009 11:17:47 AM ]
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