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5/9/2009 1:54:08 PM Titled: Desire  

brockr23
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,790)
Chandler, AZ
age: 33


Desire

This is me
Seeing you
Soft green eyes
Longing
For the touch
The kiss
Another few moments.
This is me
Wanting you
Hard, pounding heart
Begging
For one more night
For the spark
The sigh
Another tender embrace.
This is me
Craving you
Gentle, Light hands
Reaching
For one more touch
For the caress
The chill
Another foot deeper.

This is me.

~Brett

5/9/2009 1:58:51 PM Titled: Desire  

raen
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,786)
Sunman, IN
age: 39


i love it brett...........hmmmmmmmmmm that is one i may borrow and write down...it has inspired me!!! I am in one of those moods today..........i love ur writings as always

5/9/2009 2:05:42 PM Titled: Desire  

brockr23
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,790)
Chandler, AZ
age: 33


Thanks.


Every now and again I have a brief moment of tenderness.

It's gone now.

5/9/2009 2:11:06 PM Titled: Desire  

raen
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,786)
Sunman, IN
age: 39




5/9/2009 4:13:00 PM Titled: Desire  

matanga79
San Antonio, TX
age: 36


Nice!

5/9/2009 7:40:09 PM Titled: Desire  

miralysa
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,072)
Converse, TX
age: 44


Quote from brockr23:
Thanks.


Every now and again I have a brief moment of tenderness.

It's gone now.


You have a gift of writing Brett. Love it.

5/9/2009 11:24:04 PM Titled: Desire  

pankywitz
Posen, IL
age: 20


Great poem. Only thing is I think it would be better if you put stanza breaks before each "This is me"

5/10/2009 1:06:39 AM Titled: Desire  

brockr23
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,790)
Chandler, AZ
age: 33


I appreciate the structure tip, however, it was not written with the intent of it being read with pauses of that nature. In truth, the only intended pause in the writing is at the end.

5/10/2009 7:01:09 AM Titled: Desire  

shiba24
Over 1,000 Posts (1,507)
Fair Lawn, NJ
age: 38




5/10/2009 5:42:08 PM Titled: Desire  

annigma3
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,273)
Madison, WI
age: 35


Whoever was the basis for the feelings written about in this poem is or was lucky at some point. Another good poem, bro.

5/11/2009 3:26:24 AM Titled: Desire  

stroker4u
Over 1,000 Posts (1,613)
Leesburg, FL
age: 48


Very intense brett

5/19/2009 9:37:49 AM Titled: Desire  

chrissie_m
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,630)
Salem, OR
age: 23


I got chills....