| 5/10/2009 7:26:31 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
I say yes, I say when we love, we love for ourselves. Even if our motivations are pure, and our love is pure, we still love for ourselves.
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|
| 5/10/2009 7:30:14 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
darlinshel
Clayton, NC
age: 42
|
It can be when we do whatever it takes to try to hold onto it.
But, I have made many sacrifices of my own feelings and wants and needs to show my love and make sure he was happy and had as little pain as possible.
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| 5/10/2009 7:38:12 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
krasota23
Albuquerque, NM
age: 60
|
Love is not selfish because it's a gift from God. Real true love and selfish cannot belong together and they did never belong to each other. Selfish love can be only when you love yourself so much that you don't want to share.
Selfish love is not love at all to me.
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| 5/10/2009 7:39:56 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
lefty247
Swartz Creek, MI
age: 63
|
I'll always love myself first.
But have plenty leftover for someone special.
Love is about caring & sharing. Acting in the best interest of both parties. Willingness to compromise & work together for the greater good. Giving space & allowance for each to be their own person. Understanding there will be disagreements & accepting that some things aren't worth fighting over.
So if that's being selfish, call me guilty.
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| 5/10/2009 7:46:08 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
niecers_67
Fremont, NE
age: 43
|
Is love selfish? Well there are many kinds of love, I guess. But TRUE Love....look it up in 1 Corinthians 13:4-11. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
This is why REAL love is so difficult and must be constantly worked on. Love is not always easy, but definitely worth the effort!
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| 5/10/2009 7:49:29 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
wildbluemist
Battle Mountain, NV
age: 49
|
I say yes, I say when we love, we love for ourselves. Even if our motivations are pure, and our love is pure, we still love for ourselves.
100 percent agree 
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| 5/10/2009 7:56:12 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
binderdundat
New Orleans, LA
age: 49
|
The act of giving it away offsets the perceived "selfish" nature of it. IMO anyway.
If you kept your love to yourself, never showing it, voicing it, spreading it... then yes... very selfish AND not true love at all.
The very nature of love is to give it away so... only in the above scenario would I call it selfish, and like I said... that's not true love anyway.
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| 5/10/2009 7:59:01 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
kinkycapitalist
Atlanta, GA
age: 56
|
No! Love is self-serving, not selfish.
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| 5/10/2009 8:02:00 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
chatte09
Linden, NJ
age: 51
|
I agree with you Klassy, love is selfish in a sense.
If it weren't selfish, would you stay with someone you didn't love anymore just because they loved you? That would be a selfless act. But most people would say, no, I'd leave. Why? Because the realtiosnhip wasn't pleasing YOU anymore ~ and that in itself, makes it selfish.
You can be selfless when you are in love with someone. That feeling that you would do anything for them, put their needs and wants first.
But ultimately, if love isn't making US happy, we walk away from it and put what we need first.
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| 5/10/2009 8:13:12 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
If love is not selfish, then why is it necessary to love ourselves?
Self-serving kink? What is the difference in your mind?
|
| 5/10/2009 8:13:49 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
looking4_prince
Twin Falls, ID
age: 58
|
Love is giving AND receiving...it can't be selfish if it's what it is suppose to be...When my husband got sick..I went to nursing school at 40 so I could keep him at home..and in return I got some really gratifying years that I would not change...
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| 5/10/2009 8:17:16 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
sea_1
Mesa, AZ
age: 58
|
You know after reading all of the postings...then why are most us of divorced then???......Sea
edited for proper wording........ ...Sea
[Edited 5/10/2009 8:18:12 AM ]
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| 5/10/2009 8:22:58 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
age: 46
|
Love and belonging is one of the 5 basic human needs according to some theories. So, I think we're hard wired for it so maybe it's what we're meant to do.
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| 5/10/2009 8:23:30 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
kinkycapitalist
Atlanta, GA
age: 56
|
SELFISH = " concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others."
Self Centered = "referring to a question asked of a party to a lawsuit or a statement by that person that serves no purpose and provides no evidence, but only argues or reinforces the legal position of that party. Example: Question asked by a lawyer of his own client: "Are you the sort of person who would never do anything dishonest?"
"I am a Cnhristian is a classic example of self serving." Acting like a Christian, whatever that may be, has more universal meaning then to merely proclaim it.
Saying one loves or sacrafices is self-serving. Saing I did this or that is to state facts that may or may not establish one's claim.
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| 5/10/2009 8:26:33 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
I agree with you Klassy, love is selfish in a sense.
If it weren't selfish, would you stay with someone you didn't love anymore just because they loved you? That would be a selfless act. But most people would say, no, I'd leave. Why? Because the realtiosnhip wasn't pleasing YOU anymore ~ and that in itself, makes it selfish.
You can be selfless when you are in love with someone. That feeling that you would do anything for them, put their needs and wants first.
But ultimately, if love isn't making US happy, we walk away from it and put what we need first.
Exactly chatte. We love because of our desire to be loved in return. I think we can give our love in a selfless manner, but I think love is still selfish. And selfish isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think many of us have experienced losing our self and ending up empty all in the name of love.
And sea is right if love weren't selfish we wouldn't all be divorced. I mean, I still love my ex. I am not in love with him, I will never, ever go back to him, but I love him. I love him selfishly for all the years we were together, the children and soon to be granchildren we share and the part he played in the woman I am today. My love for him now absolutely does not benefit him in any way shape or form.
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| 5/10/2009 8:29:34 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
SELFISH = " concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others."
Self Centered = "referring to a question asked of a party to a lawsuit or a statement by that person that serves no purpose and provides no evidence, but only argues or reinforces the legal position of that party. Example: Question asked by a lawyer of his own client: "Are you the sort of person who would never do anything dishonest?"
"I am a Cnhristian is a classic example of self serving." Acting like a Christian, whatever that may be, has more universal meaning then to merely proclaim it.
Saying one loves or sacrafices is self-serving. Saing I did this or that is to state facts that may or may not establish one's claim.
Kink, you did not give me equivalent definitions. And, I still stand by my premise, we love to get love in return. However, if we love honestly and completely unselfish acts come to fruition.
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| 5/10/2009 8:38:51 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
maxnok
Cleveland, OH
age: 52
|
Love is a serious mental disease. -Plato
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| 5/10/2009 8:49:15 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
kinkycapitalist
Atlanta, GA
age: 56
|
Kink, you did not give me equivalent definitions. And, I still stand by my premise, we love to get love in return. However, if we love honestly and completely unselfish acts come to fruition.
equivalent definitions? I'm a scum-sucking, rat bastard lawyer. These are the definitions I work with. Self serving IS different then Selfish. Selfish denotes personal gratification and enrichment of a material sense where self-serving only deals with how you view your self. Your question was whether love was selfish, and I main tain, NO, it is not. I suppose, YOU need to define LOVE, then.
Traditional definition of " strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties" Key word part is, " for another" not self.
[Edited 5/10/2009 8:50:01 AM ]
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| 5/10/2009 8:53:02 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
sea_1
Mesa, AZ
age: 58
|
Kinky......by Goerge I think we's got it..... ....( wink ) Sea
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| 5/10/2009 8:55:01 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
lotstdo
Henderson, NV
age: 49
|
The act of giving it away offsets the perceived "selfish" nature of it. IMO anyway.
If you kept your love to yourself, never showing it, voicing it, spreading it... then yes... very selfish AND not true love at all.
The very nature of love is to give it away so... only in the above scenario would I call it selfish, and like I said... that's not true love anyway.
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| 5/10/2009 9:10:16 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
equivalent definitions? I'm a scum-sucking, rat bastard lawyer. These are the definitions I work with. Self serving IS different then Selfish. Selfish denotes personal gratification and enrichment of a material sense where self-serving only deals with how you view your self. Your question was whether love was selfish, and I main tain, NO, it is not. I suppose, YOU need to define LOVE, then.
Traditional definition of " strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties" Key word part is, " for another" not self.
Do you not receive personal gratification and enrichment through affection for another? And are you able to love others if you do not have love for yourself?
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| 5/10/2009 9:17:09 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
kinkycapitalist
Atlanta, GA
age: 56
|
Many of the fragile people with low or non-existent self-esteem, still love. Co-dependents love and have zero self-esteem. Narcasists have plenty of selfishness and zero ability to love others.
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| 5/10/2009 9:31:13 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
steven030463
Newton Falls, OH
age: 47
|
I'm never selfish about any of my love I have for anybody. I have a bad habit of thinking about others before myself. I'd rather see her have all and me do without. I make sure she has all the love I can give her and I never worry about myself. I'd rather see her with all happiness than myself. I can take care of myself. As long as she is happy with her life, then thats what makes me happy. I already have a life, Even though I concider myself number one, with out that I can't make sure she is number one in my life. And it goes from there. If she has kids, then you weigh what is number one in what it takes to make her kids and her happy. In some parts her kids come first, but in weighing what comes first, she would come first,so her kids can come first on what ever it is. I don't worry about me. We all have to work together, but I make sure her feelings come before mine.
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| 5/10/2009 9:34:51 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
Many of the fragile people with low or non-existent self-esteem, still love. Co-dependents love and have zero self-esteem. Narcasists have plenty of selfishness and zero ability to love others.
All of your examples prove not disprove my point. A narcissit's love is completely selfish, a co-dependent person loves to receive love, they can't exist without it, and a fragile person loves because they need to be loved.
And, for the record, I may not be a low-down, good for nothing lawyer, but I love a good debate. Thank you for playing with me. 
And steven I think your premise is unhealthy. I think people who never allow themselves to receive as well as give end up empty. And no one can run effectively on empty. You end up with nothing left to give.
[Edited 5/10/2009 9:36:38 AM ]
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| 5/10/2009 9:42:04 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
milas83
Philadelphia, PA
age: 28
|
You're suppose to love yourself. Because if you don't, how can you expect others to??
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| 5/10/2009 10:11:05 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
nunbttr
Middletown, OH
age: 64
|
What does that say about the person who loves others so much, that he is willing to sacrifice his own life in order to make theirs better? ie, A father to save his family. A mother, doing the same thing. That, to me, is not being selfish.
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| 5/10/2009 10:26:06 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
nunbttr
Middletown, OH
age: 64
|
True love is giving your devotion to someone (more than one) with no expectation of reciprocal feelings. So, by this definition, it is a totally selfless act.
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| 5/10/2009 11:07:08 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
age: 46
|
Sociopaths typically don't love either.
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| 5/10/2009 11:30:21 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
tryagaindj68
Evansville, IN
age: 42
|
In a way, it is selfish. If I have romantic feelings for a guy, then I want him to have romantic feelings for me alone. It's OK if he still cares for someone who mattered very much to him before I came along, but if I'm not his only romantic partner, I'm so outta there.
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| 5/10/2009 12:06:54 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
zorno
Blossvale, NY
age: 26
|
Well yes we are naturally drawn to the feeling because it does feel good but the fact of the matter is we will do things that are very selfless for that person we love. When I am in love there is nothing that comes first over the woman I love. So I would say no it isn't selfish.
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| 5/10/2009 1:24:57 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
yourfriendbob
Fayette, OH
age: 56
|
True love is the most selfish form of sharing. We give all, but get more than all in return.
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| 5/10/2009 1:31:32 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
happyface46
Fort Lauderdale, FL
age: 48
|
Selfish ones lose love. I like the bad boy mag.. Bob. cute.
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| 5/10/2009 1:35:36 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
chapstick71
Boca Raton, FL
age: 39
|
People are what make love selfish, a child loves but it isnt selfish. JMO.
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| 5/10/2009 1:52:08 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
clyde_c_barrow
Winchester, CA
age: 41
|
Considering how i am and how others i have known are, or have been, I'd say love does in fact contain varying levels of selfishness.
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| 5/10/2009 3:00:32 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
Interesting replies. So, maybe love can be both selfless and selfish. Maybe it is the ultimate filling up of two people.
I know that I wasn't looking forward to today as it was going to be my first Mother's Day to wake up alone, my mom is gone and my grandma is in the hospital, but I think I have felt more love on this day than on any other Mother's Day I have had.
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| 5/10/2009 3:08:30 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
cocopuffs375
Suffern, NY
age: 23
|
Sometimes...love confuses me......
but I love this saying anyways......
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| 5/10/2009 3:46:34 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
thunderstorms62
Endicott, NY
age: 48
|
I'm finding it a lot easier to see how selfless fits into the equation
but ONLY at a healthy level. The give and take "level bubble" needs to be
centered for a healthy love to exist in a R-ship.
For anyone that has ever studied psychology the definition of selfish is simple.
In a healthy person, according to Freud, the ego is the strongest so that it can satisfy the needs of the id, not upset the superego, and still take into consideration the reality of every situation.
You want that in English? You run into selfish when the id gets too strong. Impulses and self gratification take over the person's life. If the superego becomes too strong, the person would be driven by rigid morals, would be judgmental and unbending in his or her interactions with the world.
I say yes, I say when we love, we love for ourselves. Even if our motivations
are pure, and our love is pure, we still love for ourselves
OP...I partially agree with this statement BUT I don't think this necessarily constitutes being selfish. 
[Edited 5/10/2009 3:48:31 PM ]
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| 5/10/2009 6:02:27 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
I'm finding it a lot easier to see how selfless fits into the equation
but ONLY at a healthy level. The give and take "level bubble" needs to be
centered for a healthy love to exist in a R-ship.
For anyone that has ever studied psychology the definition of selfish is simple.
In a healthy person, according to Freud, the ego is the strongest so that it can satisfy the needs of the id, not upset the superego, and still take into consideration the reality of every situation.
You want that in English? You run into selfish when the id gets too strong. Impulses and self gratification take over the person's life. If the superego becomes too strong, the person would be driven by rigid morals, would be judgmental and unbending in his or her interactions with the world.
I say yes, I say when we love, we love for ourselves. Even if our motivations
are pure, and our love is pure, we still love for ourselves
OP...I partially agree with this statement BUT I don't think this necessarily constitutes being selfish.
Thanks for your post. I pretty much agree with you, but dang did you have to throw me back to psych 101?
I guess I wasn't implying love was completely selfish, just had a selfish nature as love nurishes our soul whether we are giving or receiving.
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| 5/10/2009 6:38:16 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
leftfooted
West Covina, CA
age: 51
|
Is love selfish?
It has possibilities,
Have you ever heard....you'll do it if you love me
How about someone doing something that they dont want to do, but they do it because they love the other person and that other person is aware that that is the reason that they are doing it.
Something like they will do something that they wouldnt normally do because they know that the other person is in love with them believing that person will understand and accept because they love them.
[Edited 5/10/2009 6:42:58 PM ]
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| 5/10/2009 7:02:26 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
Is love selfish?
It has possibilities,
Have you ever heard....you'll do it if you love me
How about someone doing something that they dont want to do, but they do it because they love the other person and that other person is aware that that is the reason that they are doing it.
Something like they will do something that they wouldnt normally do because they know that the other person is in love with them believing that person will understand and accept because they love them.
Hmmmm, good point.
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| 5/10/2009 7:07:48 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
maxnok
Cleveland, OH
age: 52
|
Quote from leftfooted:
Is love selfish?
It has possibilities,
Have you ever heard....you'll do it if you love me
How about someone doing something that they dont want to do, but they do it because they love the other person and that other person is aware that that is the reason that they are doing it.
Something like they will do something that they wouldnt normally do because they know that the other person is in love with them believing that person will understand and accept because they love them.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Quote from klassyclown:
Hmmmm, good point.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Or, are they doing it because they don't want the other person to withhold their love from them which would be selfish.
[Edited 5/10/2009 7:08:30 PM ]
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| 5/11/2009 6:28:08 AM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
Quote from leftfooted:
Is love selfish?
It has possibilities,
Have you ever heard....you'll do it if you love me
How about someone doing something that they dont want to do, but they do it because they love the other person and that other person is aware that that is the reason that they are doing it.
Something like they will do something that they wouldnt normally do because they know that the other person is in love with them believing that person will understand and accept because they love them.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Quote from klassyclown:
Hmmmm, good point.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Or, are they doing it because they don't want the other person to withhold their love from them which would be selfish.
I think that would be correct and that was my question, do we love because we want love in return?
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| 5/11/2009 3:42:18 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
scorpio871968
Hickory, NC
age: 42
|
If you are a selfish person in general it can be.
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| 5/11/2009 3:55:42 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
hsprin
Savannah, MO
age: 34
|
No I don't believe that love is selfish. Your giving someone a huge true part of yourself and sharing your life with them out of love.
There are selfish people who want to recieve love and are not capable of giving love. That makes them selfish not the love selfish.
Love is pure and given from God as a way to bond us and make what we have with others more special.
The highest honor you can give someone is too truly love that person. That is why people get married, because it is saying that I love this person so much that I only want to forever be with them. I love this person so much that I don't want to lose them. It is the highest form of flattery.
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| 5/11/2009 4:07:17 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
leftfooted
West Covina, CA
age: 51
|
I think that would be correct and that was my question, do we love because we want love in return?
Do you love if they dont love you?
Would think that even though you want to love someone, eventually if the love is not returned then one would stop loving for whatever reason that they relate to the fact that they are not being loved,so loving only if love is received in return does occur.
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| 5/11/2009 4:24:49 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
Leftfooted, I kind of see it like this: When you plant an apple tree, you water it and nourish it and give it sun because you know it has the potential to grow and produce delicious fruit, and apples are your favorite fruit. Well, six months goes by and the leaves have fallen off, but you expected that. But then, after a year of care, the tree is still bare. But, you think with maybe better nourishment and more sun and maybe a little less water, it still might produce. But, another year goes by and it still doesn't produce, all you have is a baren stick in the ground. You gave that tree all that you had, but your efforts were futile, so what do you do, you stop giving that tree all your energies. Yes, you gave of yourself freely, but when you got nothing in return, you gave up.
It is the same when we love, we love in order to receive love, which is in a sense selfish. It isn't a bad thing, it is just reality.
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| 5/11/2009 4:28:38 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
neo_52
Marathon, FL
age: 54
|
klassy ,you are a very intelligent young lady .
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| 5/11/2009 4:30:58 PM |
Is love selfish? |
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klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
Why thank you, thank you very much! 
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| 5/11/2009 4:45:26 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
yourfriendbob
Fayette, OH
age: 56
|
Do you love if they dont love you?
Would think that even though you want to love someone, eventually if the love is not returned then one would stop loving for whatever reason that they relate to the fact that they are not being loved,so loving only if love is received in return does occur.
I think that answer fits over 99% of all cases. But....
There are those thankfully rare instances in which one may love another unconditionally. Against all odds, common sense, or even morality, an individual may love someone without reward. Certainly they hope for their love to be returned. But, whether it is or it isn't, they are stuck loving this person. It's as though in a world of fallen and compromised people, you've accidently found one good person. Not perfect by any means, but more like finding the only other person in the world who speaks your native language. They "get" you, and you "get" them. Unfortunately things aren't always that simple, and while the love is there, the rewards aren't. Most people run their loves with more businesslike sensibilities and when their love doesn't bear fruit, they move on. That's pretty typical.
And sometimes, unconditional means unconditional. Hoping, but never selfish. As mentioned, thankfully it doesn't happen often. What a miserable and painful existence that would be, suspended forever between heaven and hell.
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| 5/11/2009 4:55:23 PM |
Is love selfish? |
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klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
Yes Bob, but in the end, all that you want, all of your energy and sacrifice is for one thing and one thing only, and that is to be loved in return. And, I know that even for you, that is true.
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| 5/11/2009 4:57:55 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
leftfooted
West Covina, CA
age: 51
|
Leftfooted,
It is the same when we love, we love in order to receive love, which is in a sense selfish. It isn't a bad thing, it is just reality.
Think that if you give in order to receive it is something like bartering,its not as if you didnt give something in return.
If someone was to take anothers love just for the attention and whatever else came with it and did not love that person in return then it could be selfish.
Most of the time its not I love you if you love me,its I love you because you love me.
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| 5/11/2009 5:09:07 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
|
Think that if you give in order to receive it is something like bartering,its not as if you didnt give something in return.
If someone was to take anothers love just for the attention and whatever else came with it and did not love that person in return then it could be selfish.
Most of the time its not I love you if you love me,its I love you because you love me.
I don't agree, I think it is I love you so that you can love me.
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| 5/11/2009 5:13:40 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
granola_girl3
Rockvale, TN
age: 54
|
Love is not selfish. What is selfish is how love is abused by one who is incapable of comprehending the quintessential essence of its meaning.
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| 5/11/2009 5:16:33 PM |
Is love selfish? |
|
wisegirl33
Queensland
Australia
age: 46
|
No, true love is not selfish.
True love for another person, is concern, care, compassion, freedom and devotion etc....
True love is not "restrictive" at all. An insecure person can obviously feel jealous from time to time, but a genuine love for another person, will only want the best for that person.
JMO
wisegirl33 - 12 May 2009 at 1020am Aest
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| 5/11/2009 5:17:10 PM |
Is love selfish? |
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soulcrazy
San Clemente, CA
age: 41
|
AMEN Sister!
No, true love is not selfish.
True love for another person, is concern, care, compassion, freedom and devotion etc....
True love is not "restrictive" at all. An insecure person can obviously feel jealous from time to time, but a genuine love for another person, will only want the best for that person.
JMO
wisegirl33 - 12 May 2009 at 1020am Aest
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| 5/11/2009 5:18:10 PM |
Is love selfish? |
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klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 42
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Love is not selfish. What is selfish is how love is abused by one who is incapable of comprehending the quintessential essence of its meaning.
What is a quintessential essence?
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| 5/11/2009 5:30:50 PM |
Is love selfish? |
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leftfooted
West Covina, CA
age: 51
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I don't agree, I think it is I love you so that you can love me.
Once so has occured does it become because?
Would think that initially loving someone so that they would love you might be the motivator.
But once someone is in love with another do you love them so they can love you which they already do, or do you love someone so they can stay in love with you?
But if they are already in love with you are you loving them so they will love you which they already do or is it you love them because they love you.
Or would it be both,so and because
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| 5/11/2009 5:33:33 PM |
Is love selfish? |
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steven030463
Newton Falls, OH
age: 47
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And steven I think your premise is unhealthy. I think people who never allow themselves to receive as well as give end up empty. And no one can run effectively on empty. You end up with nothing left to give. |
| 5/11/2009 5:38:12 PM |
Is love selfish? |
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followurdreams2
Ridgeland, MS
age: 42
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I say yes, I say when we love, we love for ourselves. Even if our motivations are pure, and our love is pure, we still love for ourselves.
True love is never selfish. We should give love to others with no expectations of anything in return. If one expects something in return or some self gratification for loving someone then to me, that is not love. So, in a case as such, the person is selfish, not love.
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| 5/11/2009 5:54:38 PM |
Is love selfish? |
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maxnok
Cleveland, OH
age: 52
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Klassyclown,
I think it may be too simplistic a definition to say that we love in order to be loved. Some things kind of run on autopilot. For instance, I may spend a lot of time with a woman and begin to admire her. She may do something nice for me like cook me dinner or wash my clothes. Later, she might show me other aspects of herself that I like, also. The admiration gets to a point where I can honestly say I care for her. It is this caring that I think love is. And it's not because I expect anything from her. It's because I admire her and cherish her.
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