| 11/21/2007 9:16:50 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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cohiba24
Seattle, WA
age: 23
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I'm still a young guy but already settled in a career. I've been working on offshore oil rigs the past 3 years, the first two years I was a topside diving tender and worked 2 weeks on 2 weeks off which was not that long to be away from home.
I broke out last year and bumped up so now I work as a saturation diver which puts me on a 2-4 month rotation offshore most spent in a hyperbaric chamber complex with zero communication home. I noticed that I have not met many guys in my field that are in relationships or ever been married or divorced a bunch of times.
Everytime I start out dating someone they say they do not mind the field of work I'm in, and the time I'm gone. But like clock work I've never managed to have a relationship last through a full dive rotation. So why do women say they don't mind knowing damn well they do deep down. It's a waste of time and money to date then get in a relationship with someone that is pretending they can handle being seperated.
I'd feel much better if they told me they love to be in a relationship just not with someone whos away from home so much. What is the deal? I know it's tough to be seperated from loved ones it's tough for my family, but I almost want to simulate a disappearance early in a relationship to see if I'm wasting my time or not.
I know many people suffer from needing instant gratification all the time, I'm lucky not to need that in life. I don't mind waiting and I don't mind taking the time to get used to something. I think the main problem I'm facing is getting hooked up with women that will say anything in the start of a relationship then fold later down the road when the honeymoon portion has ended.
[Edited 11/21/2007 9:34:48 AM]
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| 11/21/2007 9:34:09 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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wileyguy
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 36
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i wouldnt date ya
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| 11/21/2007 9:35:28 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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cohiba24
Seattle, WA
age: 23
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Damn I thought we had something special
[Edited 11/21/2007 9:36:03 AM]
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| 11/21/2007 9:47:31 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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bamarose
Sterrett, AL
age: 38
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It's probably that in the beginning of a relationship you don't have those strong feelings and wanting to see your significant other. As the relationship progresses, it's only natural to desire more time alone with them. Personally, my ex traveled all over the country and as long as he sent that check home every week, I was COOL!!! LOL!!   I'm still pretty independent, so I would probably be ok dating someone that was gone for long periods. I think it just depends on the person.
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| 11/21/2007 10:01:24 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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me4aminute
Rutland, IA
age: 34
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I think being that you are only home for 2mths and then gone doesn't give anyone the chance to really get to know you and make that decision. JMO It also depends on how long this is going to be for.
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| 11/21/2007 10:07:15 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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gator59
Las Vegas, NV
age: 48
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I agree with me4 being away doesnt work .. neither do long distance relationships. I know jobs are hard you have a good one.. Your young trust me from one who is ten or so years older  take you time youll get it. And if there not upfront with you you dont need them in your life anyway JMO
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| 11/21/2007 10:08:01 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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cohiba24
Seattle, WA
age: 23
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NO WAY WILL I SEND MONEY HOME AGAIN. lol one girl I dated I did the whole send the check home thing, needless to say I get one paycheck maybe two a year in a lump sum. I ended up having to do two more jobs in the blistering heat off Malaysia the worst place to work offshore ever!, last year because the girl and my check were gone when I got home. I've learned how to pay my bills without mailing my money home.
[Edited 11/21/2007 10:18:53 AM]
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| 11/21/2007 10:14:15 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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bamarose
Sterrett, AL
age: 38
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NEVER send your money home to someone you're not married to, or at least been involved with for a very long time - someone who contributes as much as you. Gotta watch out for numero uno!!
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| 11/21/2007 10:19:34 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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cohiba24
Seattle, WA
age: 23
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Let me clarify sorry, when the months at sea total out, I have anywhere from 5 1/2 to 6 months a year I'm home (not working)
which.... if you think about it the average person works 2,000 hours a year, thats 40 hours x 50 weeks - two weeks vacation most people have,there are 24 hours in a day so divide that into 2000 which is a little over 83 days so give the average of 30 days in a month and split that into 83 which is almost 3 months solid the average american works add in commuting hours, and girls nights out, and I think 6 months of seperation we all experiance in a relationship.
Someone check my math.
[Edited 11/21/2007 10:20:42 AM]
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| 11/21/2007 10:24:14 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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cohiba24
Seattle, WA
age: 23
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Why can't I keep my money, pay the bills from the rig, then spend whats left together when I get home?
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| 11/21/2007 11:04:41 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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me4aminute
Rutland, IA
age: 34
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Yes, it is probably about the same actual time, but a person that works close to home everyday gets to see that person usually everyday. My ex husband was gone 5-6days a wk, and I was fine with it because of my independence, but for months it wouldn't have lasted as long as it did. You lose touch with one another. I think if it is here and there fine, but long periods of time just don't work. A long distance relationship can start that way, but you need to be making it a temperary thing and make sure that there is some sort of solution to bring you together in the long run.
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| 11/21/2007 11:10:46 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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cohiba24
Seattle, WA
age: 23
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So I'm pretty much going to be single til I retire, awesome..
[Edited 11/21/2007 11:16:09 AM]
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| 11/21/2007 11:11:24 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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stormie_temp
Fresno, CA
age: 35
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I don't think that it is that the girls are being dishonest. I think they really believe that they can handle it until it actually happens. I've been in a similar situation and I honestly thought I would be totally fine with it, but after a couple of weeks I was miserable and as a result ended up making the guy miserable.
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| 11/21/2007 11:20:59 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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cohiba24
Seattle, WA
age: 23
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What makes someone think that? I thought about changing to inland work so I can have more of a life, but if I stay where I'm at now the company grants me full retirement in 12 more years. So I kinda thought when I'm 35 if I did not stick to where I'm going, I'll regret having to work til I'm 40 to get retirement most sat divers at retire above age 35 end up disabled. The bones can only soak up so much helium and nitrogen before the start to crumble.
[Edited 11/21/2007 11:29:37 AM]
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| 11/21/2007 11:25:17 AM |
Why can't people just be upfront |
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stormie_temp
Fresno, CA
age: 35
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Not sure what your question was....was it "what makes someone think they can handle it when they really can't"? If that is the case, my answer is: A couple of months doesn't seem that long when you talk about it. But, when you are away from someone you really care about, each day feels like a year...so that couple of months seems like FOREVER.
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