| 5/26/2009 8:00:48 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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luralea
Humble, TX
age: 55
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My husband walked out...called and said he filed for divorce and would not talk to me or answer any questions and would not see me again. How do you deal with the pain?
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| 5/26/2009 11:45:25 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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poisonpurge
Galt, CA
age: 43
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I feel your pain, as I share it. My wife of 17 years just one day said it's over, moved out two weeks later. It was brutal on many levels. For me, I leaned HEAVILY on my friends and family. They will be there for you. If you need more, don't be afraid of seeing a therapist, also there are divorce support groups that can help too. I know it sounds like a cliche, but time does heal all wounds. Take care and God bless.
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| 5/27/2009 9:29:45 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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satinsky2
Charlotte, NC
age: 60
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It is true that with time you won't feel the pain anymore. You may not feel that way now, but I promise one day you will be happy.
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| 6/1/2009 8:37:18 AM |
The shock of divorce |
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hollynoelle
Columbia, SC
age: 30
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I too have leaned heavily on my friends. I also was able to get a job, do some traveling, and I've shed more tears in the past year than I have ever shed during my entire life. And I am the one who initiated the divorce, but it hurt me immensely. I have thought of going to counseling, but have been able to deal with things in other ways.
May I suggest the book Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford? I've read the book & it helped me in ways I didn't think it would. It has wonderful exercises in it & has helped me put names to emotions and why I feel the way I feel. It is not a very long book, but for me it was intense in the ways it made you evaluate your own actions, reactions, thoughts, fears, etc. I highly recommend it for anyone going thru a divorce.
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| 6/13/2009 3:28:10 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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sacred78
Nashville, TN
age: 31
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Luralea,
I am sorry that you are having to go through this. I highly recommend you get the book, "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson. He goes over scenarios similar to yours. I firmly believe in the principles given in this book. I will be thinking of you. I know your going through a devastating time. Just remember, you are NOT alone!
Wishing you strength, hope, faith, courage, love, tenderness, warmth, care, and a peace that passes understanding today and in the coming days.
Sincerely,
Melanie
Isaiah 42:3 sticks out in my mind, when I read your post...
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| 6/13/2009 4:11:48 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
age: 45
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My husband walked out...called and said he filed for divorce and would not talk to me or answer any questions and would not see me again. How do you deal with the pain?
OP, I lived through the same situation 10 years ago. It was the best thing he ever did for me. I can't thank him enough today. At the time it was rough. You might want to check into divorce recovery classes. Try divorcerecovery.com or .org., not sure which. It takes time and lots of effort to heal on your part.
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| 6/13/2009 4:18:51 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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bull313
Bridge City, TX
age: 45
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I understand what your going through. I am sorry to tell you the pain will be there but it is true it will fade eventually. But the important thing is you stay strong. Life does go on and many people go through divorce
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| 6/13/2009 8:01:16 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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jen0508
La Plata, MD
age: 31
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It will slowly fade. You will grieve for the loss of your marriage like you would the loss of a loved one. Give it time.
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| 6/14/2009 8:21:29 AM |
The shock of divorce |
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seabiscuit1
Waterbury, CT
age: 58
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It is very emotional like a death.
Feelings of hurt, abandonment, anger, resentment.
It gets better and life can be better than it was before.
There are many nice  men who would worship a good women.
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| 6/15/2009 4:22:42 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
age: 58
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My husband walked out...called and said he filed for divorce and would not talk to me or answer any questions and would not see me again. How do you deal with the pain?
By letting the pain to take its path...by not blaming yourself for his actions since "it takes two to tango"...by resourcing to friends, family and if necessary to a therapist...by forcing yourself to be out...by taking care of yourself better than ever (nutrition, physical appearance, getting involved in things you like). It does work.
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| 6/16/2009 11:23:24 AM |
The shock of divorce |
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iamalwaysjustme
Olathe, KS
age: 50
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Give him the divorce and then go enjoy yourself. He is the loser , he will learn later on when it is too late to mend fences  I wish you the best of luck
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| 6/17/2009 12:53:31 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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pacfiretech
Rockwall, TX
age: 31
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My name is Richard,
I am new to this site so please bear with me.
My wife walked out after only 3 years. I still feel as though I did something wrong yet everyone tells me that I was the most devoted husband they have ever met and went above and beyond for her. It feel like my whole life fell apart over night and unexpectedly. I want to know if other ppl actually feel like marriage is disposable now days. Thats how I feel now and it is very hard to want to trust someone else now.
I also find myself not knowing what to do with my time anymore. I workout alot and tan and work on things around my house, but I dont like going to clubs and I have no social life other then my long time friends anymore. Anyone have suggestions about this ?
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| 6/17/2009 1:06:48 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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jen0508
La Plata, MD
age: 31
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I fought for my marriage for 2 and 1/2 years becaus I did not want to be a statistic on divorce. Like you I was a devoted wife and mother. The last 2 years was for my kids.
I found the time thing was one of the hardest things to get over. Once the kids went to bed at night, I didn't know what to do. I slowly started picking myself up, started doing old hobbies I had long tossed aside. I began to discover who I was.
The most difficult thing for me was having someone to talk to when I was alone. My sister spent a lot of time with me to help me with this. Slowly I began to reconnect with old friends and found ways to meet people.
It takes time, but you will figure it out!!
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| 6/17/2009 2:18:01 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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trueblue5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 52
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I can't relate to the shock. My ex was shocked when I walked out the door and had the balls to ask why. Ummmmmmmmmm... was he not on the same planet as myself for the past 10 years? Surely it wasn't as big of a shock to him as he made it out to be.
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| 6/17/2009 3:40:48 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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blackjack007
Callahan, FL
age: 31
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Luralea,
I am sorry that you are having to go through this. I highly recommend you get the book, "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson. He goes over scenarios similar to yours. I firmly believe in the principles given in this book. I will be thinking of you. I know your going through a devastating time. Just remember, you are NOT alone!
Wishing you strength, hope, faith, courage, love, tenderness, warmth, care, and a peace that passes understanding today and in the coming days.
Sincerely,
Melanie
Isaiah 42:3 sticks out in my mind, when I read your post...
I went through my divorce with the support of my family,God heal me and gave me understanting and a new outlook on things that had happen.
P.S get the book that Melanie told you about and read it.It will help you understanding
alot of stuff you will want anwser to.Also you might want to check the BIBLE out.Psalms.121 , 92 
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| 6/17/2009 5:32:10 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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sun_shine51
West Monroe, LA
age: 57
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I have been divorced 4 yrs. I want you to know I know how you are feeling
right now. Get the book that was mentioned.
I am so sorry, dear. I know you are hurting so...
It does take time to heal, but you just take
ONE DAY AT A TIME.
You will get through this because YOU are an overcomer!
God will get you through. Cling to Him.
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| 6/26/2009 9:15:03 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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lilbitdawgs
Mooresville, NC
age: 39
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My shock came in 08 after trying to figure out what he was doing. Easter sunday driving home 3 hours, he decides to tell me he wants a divorce. i found out that he had pd for the divorce 6 months before, and had his wh*re here in NC for 3 months before leaving. Broke mine and our sons heart. He and the wh*re had there baby in april of this year. We were divorced March 09. I really cant stand my ex, even with prayer, my pain is slow to leave my heart.
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| 6/27/2009 3:32:46 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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canni70
Pleasantville, NY
age: 39
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One day at a time beleive me it gets better..Baby steps.. I could tell you some of the things I had to deal with. That would make you laugh if that would help
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| 6/28/2009 3:40:49 AM |
The shock of divorce |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
age: 61
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Sorry to hear it--but not at all unusual. Dealing with it is a matter of time--the shock wears off--you realize that YOUR life will go on. It happens to so many people--its never pretty--but my guess is--MID LIFE CRISIS---there is an age where some men just think with their weenie--like they think they are missing something. Again--sorry to hear it.  take the time to settle down--get your priorities in order, get your finances in order--take care of the important stuff. Stand tall--say goodbye to the guy and move on.
[Edited 6/28/2009 3:42:24 AM PST]
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| 7/16/2009 10:29:29 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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luralea
Humble, TX
age: 55
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Thank you so much for all the great advice! Trying to heal one day at a time.....looking for a job to survive......nothing yet
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| 7/20/2009 1:35:32 AM |
The shock of divorce |
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ladyvirtue123
Magalia, CA
age: 53
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Painful, very painful..in your situation that would be worse, to not know why..I divorced my ex for cheating..we were together 25 yrs..for months I felt like I was missing half of my body..I felt so empty and scared..I went through the numb stage, then the emotional stage, next was the anger stage..last was the why stage..finally acceptance came..I was even able to forgive him..he married his mistress, she is 23 yrs younger with two toddlers..he begged me to forgive him and take him back and as much as part of me wanted to, I knew it wouldn't be the same..too much had happend..even though I forgave him, I wouldn't be able to trust him again and I cannot live without trust..time is the healing factor..keeping busy..being with others..
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| 7/21/2009 4:28:03 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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patricia59
Columbus, GA
age: 59
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My husband walked out in Feb this year. He told me in Jan that he was divorcing me after 36 years of marriage and there was nothing I could do to stop him. At the time, i had no idea who he was seeing but I did know there was someone. After finding out the details of who and how long he had been seeing this woman, Devastation is not a strong enough description for what I'm going through. My world has been destroyed. They had and on again off again relationship for 23 years. I've read these posts and been told that eventually my life will be better than before. I pray it will happen but for now, I'm totally lost. I've been married my whole life. I've heard about these websites and was terrified to try it, but in desperation, I'm here looking for help.
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| 7/22/2009 1:11:57 AM |
The shock of divorce |
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1bigwoody
Taylors, SC
age: 44
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I'm sorry for anyone caought off gard by somthing of this magnatude. I've been married (Happily for 24 yrs) and was informed in Dec 2008, she didn't love me anymore and had found someone else. my two children 19, and 21 were equally stunned and no explanation given, no counciling saught, friends and neibhbors including the church she turned away!
She never even got all her belongings from the house, leaving behind clothes shoes purses, jewlery etc... she cleared out joint accts both household and all of our savings.
With current economy I was laid off two weeks ago from a great job! and am now concerned with my ability to keep the house??
Normally I could trust in and speak to my best friend, alas she's gone. The security of falling back on savings for a while is not an option now. This has become my lifes greatest challange, hart an ache.
A guy bllaid on the horn of his car cut me off in traffic and turned and flippid me off as we sat in the traffic stop, due to a closed lane. I'm way calm person but I snapped and pulled him from his car and when he cused me some more I beat his a** in the road. felt great at first went back to my car, then as leality kicked in I freaked a bit but he was gone. this is a stressfull life changing event I STILL DONT KNOW WHY SHE LEFT! Good night all
!
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| 7/22/2009 7:09:36 PM |
The shock of divorce |
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thickanddelish
Los Angeles, CA
age: 19
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 i fell u . i am 19 and feting a divorce.and i want to die..
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