chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
age: 18
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When She's Hot But He's Not
Our dating analyst ponders the inexplicable attraction of opposites
By Julia Allison
Dating Columnist, Time Out New York
Updated: Nov 24, 2007
Every time I watched "King of Queens," I was confused. The husband, an overweight UPS delivery guy, is married to a certifiably hot brunette with a tight body, whom he regularly asks to strip (is this normal married couple behavior? I would ask my parents, but that's disgusting).
At first, I dismissed it, like the beer commercials featuring balding, pot-bellied men cavorting with Tara Reid look-alikes. They're just Disproportionately Attractive TV Couples -- they could never exist in the real world.
Or could they?
I look around New York, and everywhere I see gorgeous women with only moderately attractive -- or even downright unattractive -- men. Even celebrity culture has these couples: Kate Hudson and (now ex) Chris Robinson, Billy Joel and any of his wives, the Barkers on MTV (although he seems sweet), Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Tesse.
The only couple in which the guy is arguably more attractive than the woman was Jennifer and Brad or maybe Tom and Katie (that's debatable) and ... well, I think we can see that's not a pattern to emulate.
Couples Who Don't Make Sense
No, if anything, the real world is filled with Couples Who Don't Make Sense. Of course, polite people don't actually say anything about it, because that's rude. Physical appearance can be a sensitive subject on a good day ... But we're thinking it. And no, it's not shallow -- it's biology!
We know that the majority of people don't date their significant other (just) because of what they look like. Realistically, however, that's the first thing we notice about a couple ... and those who stand out we wonder at. Henry Kissinger and his wife. Shannon Elizabeth and her (now ex) husband (check out photos if you don't believe me). Bill O'Reilly and anyone.
But maybe it's a progressive sign when couples don't "match"? They could be looking beyond superficial appearances! Well, they might be, except in 99.9 percent of these couples the woman looks better. How progressive can that possibly be? For every Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, there are a hundred Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martins!
A Prosperous Career
Do women even care about having man arm-candy? Most would say it's a plus, for sure. But there's a lot of competition, and not enough metrosexuals to go around. We prefer to look for a great personality, charm, a certain worldliness and let's not forget (we're in New York, after all), a prosperous career.
So maybe we women are just shallow in a different way ...
Still, it seems like men -- attractive or not -- have it easy in the dating department. Or maybe not, says an ex-boyfriend of mine. "The downside of [disproportionately attractive girlfriends] is that you're constantly trying to convince her to stay with you while battling with your inadequacy in the looks department -- over which you have no control. No matter how great the relationship is, in the back of your mind you're always wondering."
That's the funny thing about relationships -- in the back of our minds, we're always wondering about something, no matter what. Maybe even the guy on "King of Queens."
Well, maybe not him. But everyone else.
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libra75
Lowell, AR
age: 32
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China, I got a brother that looks just like the guy from King of Queens, ain't near as funny, though..........
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bubbadt
Kennedy, NY
age: 65
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China, When a woman is as beautiful as you are, seriously,
It is hard to comprehend the feelings of less fortunate
ladys. I have spent many years trying to figure out why
some of these "HOTEEs" wander by with the mates they pick.
Then again, Love is Blind.
To be happy is to be compatable, the ladys must see something
in their mates no one else does.
I look for inner feelings when I see a lady, dont care what
others think, its what I think is.
As ugly as I am, Ive been lucky to have always had a good
looking mate. Not bragging, just honest.
You have an asset most dont have.
Your highly intelligent and incredably Beautiful.
I bet you never have to worry about Common Men.
You are going to do good.
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mr_passion_2009
Texarkana, TX
age: 45
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u wanna know why the good looking woman had goten sick of the bull shit those hourgous as men put down so in her heart she want to feel real love the kind of unconditional love mosy beautiful people can't give cause they feel so gourgous that they only want ppl to kiss there ass she want love not look pluse she see that love don't come with looks
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nicksterdemus
Little Rock, AR
age: 50
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constantly trying to convince her to stay with you while battling with your inadequacy in the looks department
Nope, I ain't convincin' n I sure ain't gonna battle in my mind 'bout any inadequacy I may or may not posess...........Marry me, I'll prove it 2 ya.
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sandbagger2u
Cochecton, NY
age: 61
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Could be that all those gorgeous girls you see with ugly me are really with ugly rich men. Granted that a woman with your beauty could not possibly find a mate handsome enough to be in the same class, but in my experience
1: Most UPS drivers are not fat... They work too damn hard.
2: Most beautiful girls are pursued by many men and can pick and choose.
3. Next to someone like me, any woman looks beautiful.
4. It don't make no difference anyway.
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