| 11/26/2007 7:24:29 AM |
China improves human rights |
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photographerny
Camp Pendleton, CA
age: 25
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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48743
DONGGUAN, CHINA—In response to international criticism of Chinese workplace inequity and labor rights, China's National Labor Committee agreed Monday to establish an unpaid 15-minute break during the regular 18-hour workday, to allow pregnant women to "expel the child from their body, adjust to being a new parent, wash their hands, and return to work."
Enlarge Image Chinese workers
Workers silently celebrate the new guidelines during a company-sanctioned "moment of appreciation."
"During the last moments of childbirth, a female employee's productivity diminishes sharply," said Shanghai toy-factory owner Huang Wei, who noted that even the slightest whimper of pain or sight of a newborn's head as it crowns can distract an entire assembly line from the job at hand. "These women need a few minutes to rest and recuperate before returning to sew eyes onto stuffed animals in an efficient and satisfactory manner."
"Of course, this measure wouldn't need to be taken at all if pregnant workers could schedule their due dates for the annual holiday of May 1," Huang added.
When her contractions are coming at such short intervals that she is physically unable to attach a Barbie head, the female worker must report to the factory's lone bathroom stall, located four flights up from the assembly line. Once there, she is instructed to deliver the child within five minutes, which allows her sufficient time to get hosed down with hot water and mop up the surrounding area so that others do not slip in the afterbirth.
To prevent abuse of privileges, this 15-minute period also incorporates the one weekly bathroom break all workers are allotted.
Initial response among female workers has been positive, with most women preferring the new rule over the old one, which stipulated that the newborn child must remain where it lands on the floor until the woman's shift ends.
"Even though this maternity break means I will lose three of my 12 cents for that hour, it will be worth it just to hold my baby in my arms for a few precious seconds," said pregnant seamstress Yuen Yin, 19, just after her factory's quitting whistle blew at 2:47 a.m.
Despite the new, broadened time allotment, expectant employees are encouraged to speed the birthing process by breaking the amniotic-sac membranes themselves. The expectant mother will be responsible for thoroughly sanitizing every affected area, and will also be discouraged from using factory instruments such as tongs to facilitate the birthing process, unless it is the only means through which she can remove the baby before the allotted 15 minutes elapse. The new mother would then be docked three days' pay to replace the implement.
The Labor Committee also instituted an incentive plan granting a 40-cent bonus to any employee expecting a daughter who opts to use her 15 minutes to receive an abortion in the factory's storage closet.
Songgang shoe-factory owner Xiao Jianqi said he had considered adopting some of Micronesia's more liberal maternity policies, including an additional three minutes off for twins, 35 "personal minutes" for the child's first year, and a towel to wrap the infant in. But he decided that the new regulations were enough, and he did not want to give female workers more reason to agitate.
"If these Chinese employees' work ethic is any indication, I strongly believe these maternity breaks will go quickly and smoothly for the mother and the child, and that once the 15 minutes are up, both of them will return to the assembly line to continue working," Xiao added.
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| 11/26/2007 8:54:37 AM |
China improves human rights |
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wildgypsy
Bellevue, WA
age: 45
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I even checked the link, and yeah, this article is on the internet, but still, having a hard time believing this isn't just a sick joke.
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| 11/26/2007 9:06:07 AM |
China improves human rights |
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soultrynights
San Clemente, CA
age: 38
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wow thats amazing !!! and women complain about the usa, go figure
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| 11/26/2007 9:19:23 AM |
China improves human rights |
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knightnyte2
Spring, TX
age: 55
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man ole man.. i thought this was a joke and went to the website photo gave. Then I discovered the related article...
Rocky II, III, IV Decisions Overturned After Stallone Caught With Performance-Enhancing Drugs and i guess it's an up and up article.
peace...don't be hatin'
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| 11/26/2007 6:33:47 PM |
China improves human rights |
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jeannies10
Diamond Bar, CA
age: 59
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I agree, think it is a SICK JOKE
 Out of curiousity went to the Site:
*The article below was also in----- "the ONION" ????
It talks about a man laid off from Ford Motor Co. starting his own company financed with Unemployment monies and UAW layoff benefits........................give me a break!
The moral to this story is don't believe everything you read, particularly in "Internetland".
Jeannie10
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* "Headquartered in Thaney's home garage and financed mainly through his unemployment compensation and United Auto Workers layoff benefits, the new company's credo is, according to Thaney, to "design affordable, versatile and easy-handling cars for ordinary Americans." Saying that his time at Ford taught him "what not to do," Thaney explained that his car company will not be the victim of overproduction and other inefficient practices that have resulted in intensifying competition and declining profits, etc. etc.".......
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| 11/26/2007 7:11:24 PM |
China improves human rights |
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sm0ky
Fort Worth, TX
age: 41
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LOL...It's the Onion, that says it all. Their vids are funny though. My favorite is "Proposed (Classified) Bill Will Defend Against Flesh-Eating (Classified)". 
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| 11/26/2007 7:38:00 PM |
China improves human rights |
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slinky1971
Kingston, GA
age: 36
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ah the onion good paper, but really id classify the onion in the same category as 90 percent of the link others provide here.
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| 11/27/2007 1:31:30 AM |
China improves human rights |
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leahmarie
Aston, PA
age: 59
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Gee and I complained because I only got one day off for Thanksgiving!
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| 11/27/2007 8:34:41 AM |
China improves human rights |
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wildgypsy
Bellevue, WA
age: 45
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Is this where scw gets his stuff? LOL
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| 11/27/2007 12:16:18 PM |
China improves human rights |
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jeannies10
Diamond Bar, CA
age: 59
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"Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed.
Deceit fills hearts that are plotting evil; joy fills hearts that are planning peace!"
(Proverbs 12:19-20)
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| 11/27/2007 12:37:21 PM |
China improves human rights |
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slinky1971
Kingston, GA
age: 36
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what are you talking about jeannie?
the site is an ironic statement to the actual conditions in china, and frankly, i think its apt, especially with everyone raving on about the US. I just wish i thought of it first.
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| 11/27/2007 1:44:58 PM |
China improves human rights |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
age: 19 online now!
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theres a forum for jokes (it seems u think this is funny) it doesnt belong in the current events and political section. there are too many people who would believe it here.
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| 11/27/2007 1:46:32 PM |
China improves human rights |
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slinky1971
Kingston, GA
age: 36
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i dont see you complaining when these people post their conspiracy theory sites
or is that because you agree with those sites so its okay?
i wonder if you are going to complain to Wyoming his post was a joke and in th wrong topic....hmmmmmm
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| 11/27/2007 4:41:13 PM |
China improves human rights |
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chets929
Saint Clair Shores, MI
age: 38
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Our country should suspend all trading with China, after all there a communist country and in our country the land of the free and home of the brave we stand for none of there govenments values.
ARMY Hoooooooorah
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| 11/27/2007 5:02:51 PM |
China improves human rights |
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knightnyte2
Spring, TX
age: 55
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yeah, i'd rather send the jobs to mexico and keep them on their side of the river...
peace... don't be hatin'
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