What's the deal?

12/5/2007 12:59:29 PM	What's the deal?
trublu5ft2 Columbia, TN age: 50 online now!	How different the reasons are for people to get married now as to a generation or 2 ago. There was a time that a man got married to have some decent food cooked,got the house cleaned and laundry done. Women got married to have a roof over her head, food on the table, perhaps have a car and some of the extras that money could buy. Now both men and women seem to get married to share the expenses ( both making a living), companionship and a tax break. It's hard to believe that today.. but those were very compelling reasons back at that time. It was a " deal"... with this esoteric thing called love thrown in that seemed to make it feel a little less mercenary. Today, marriage is completely optional for both men and women for every single one of these reasons. Is it any wonder that the divorce rate is so high and that so many more people are opting to remain single? It amazes me of how many marriages there still are.. even though the majority will likely end in divorce. I think the same sort of thing applies to LTR after the initial WOW wears off.. dontcha think? Sooooo.. other than love.... what is the "deal" today? [Edited 12/5/2007 1:36:25 PM]
12/5/2007 1:34:39 PM	What's the deal?
thepkk Springfield, MO age: 52	For me it is that I am on Social Security and if I remarry I could lose benifits. I would love to be married though just for the secure feeling of it. It is easy to walk out on a live together relationship. But I think if your married you work harder to keep it together. JMO
12/5/2007 2:19:44 PM	What's the deal?
neodiminium Waimanalo, HI age: 51 online now!	Marriage for me today is for love and affection , mental and emotional satisfaction,stimulation thereof ,companionship to see the sights of this world and an equal to share the opprtunities life offers. Once upon a time it was the male to dominate the female .Female choosing the stronger male in the neighborhood ,male arranged marriages and marriage based on hierarchy . The man to work and earn the money ,the female to stay home give birth and raise the children. We, the baby boomers are the result of that era. The term for this era ,that of us baby boomers is "The "me" generation". It scares me ,to think what the youth will be made to endure because of our foibles. The sacredness of marriage is a lost art form. That is why ,I believe choosing wisely ones partner is so crucial to the harmony and longevity of marriage.
12/5/2007 3:03:57 PM	What's the deal?
harriett Homosassa, FL age: 61	I am part of the ME generation & it's a good place to be. I agree with Neo's take on marriage.mutual respect & pleasure & equality are cornerstones of a good relationship, married or not.
12/5/2007 3:06:00 PM	What's the deal?
robert007 Orlando, FL age: 68	Here's a sampling of some of the most recently available statistics on marriage and divorce in the United States of America: There were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in 2005 -- down from 2,279,000 the previous year(about 2% difference), despite a total population increase of 2.9 million over the same period. The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 -- the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. (The peak was at 5.3 in 1981, according to the Associated Press.) The marriage rate in 2005 (per 1,000) was 7.5, down from 7.8 the previous year. From the above long term divorce rate has decreased about 30% since 1981. Common belief is the divorce rate is going up. That is because the figures quoted are the total number of divorces year over year with no accounting for the increased population.
12/5/2007 5:47:27 PM	What's the deal?
lotsafuninpa Tioga, PA age: 66	Well, for me marriage is something beautiful,nurturing,etc.---but I think the reason for divorce is : The couple quit dating: The couple quit having fun: THE couple quit parking--yes,parking -- it is fun w/the one you love: The couple quit communicating unless it's to fight: Both people usually work--if they're younger--leaves hardly no time for each other: My list could go on and on.,but I won't bore you--I'm just trying to say--noone tries hard enough to keep it together. It angers me so much to hear gals who have husbands complain about them all the time---darn--just work on things--it can be done:: A big believer in marriage--hugs to all--Pat.
12/5/2007 6:53:10 PM	What's the deal?
61sunshine North Augusta, SC age: 61	You are so right. Marriage has to be worked at and nurtured. Both my marriages were solid due to that fact. You have to keep romance alive in a marriage and there has to be a deep commitment for each other. It's not always a bed of roses and we have to be able to roll with the punches during the bad times. I enjoyed being a couple and sharing my life with someone that cared. I miss both terribly. If I should ever remarry there would have to be that same committment and caring.
12/5/2007 8:10:48 PM	What's the deal?
robert007 Orlando, FL age: 68	lotsafun.......I agree with the parking, etc. etc. Here's a part of my profile that my beloved wife and I did regularly and kept our love alive for 27 years...the showering was every night. You value creative cooking, c*cktail conversation for two, showering together(saves water) and soapy hugs(you wash my front and I’ll wash yours).
12/5/2007 8:28:16 PM	What's the deal?
lotus3 Venice, FL age: 55	I do believe young people marry for the same reasons that people have always married for...Love, security, raise a family,companionship,financial success and often pressure from society and peers..I also don't see that changing. What has changed...people no longer have to stay in a marriage if it is a bad marriage. Divorce no longer has the stigma it once did...a woman is able to get a decent wage in the work force...we now have day care, after school programs for working parents. We tend to think this is bad, but think of the many, many women years ago that did not have these options, and were married to physically abusive men, alcoholics, or pediophiles. Think of the many, many men that worked hard to support the stay at home wife, who was also commiting adultry while he was working himself to an early grave. So yes, there are more divorces, men and women are not totally dependent on one another in order live life..JMO..this is a good thing. I also feel that the drug problem that reared its head in the sixties and seventies and is running rampant now, has a lot to do with the divorce rate now.
12/5/2007 9:28:28 PM	What's the deal?
hma2 Chico, CA age: 68	I agree that the reasons for getting married are sometime for reasons other than love, Time also plays a part in making or destroying marriages. If two people spend their whole time away from each other just trying to make ends meet it is hard to keep it together. There are a lot of reasons that relationships fail. One of the most important reasons, in my opinion, is that too many men and women quit working at their relationship. Love is great and having someone within arms reach is wonderful but I think many couples forget that it is up to the two people involved to keep the relationship alive.

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