| 5/17/2006 6:53:45 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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I was searching profiles this morning and it stuck me again the number of people that have unrealistic expectations as to what they want in a mate.
Is it because it is the internet and miracles are suppose to happen on the internet?
Do we really look for the same kind of person at work, the bars or malls as we go though our daily lives?
I do interact with a number of people on the internet and have met a lot of people from here. The other day a couple of friends of mine when out on a date. They met from the internet, I just happen to know both of them personally. They had a great time and they enjoyed each others company. He was a gentleman, respectful and funny. She was witty, humorous, and ladylike in every way.
He asked her out again and she turned him down. He was confused and disappointed as his impression was that they had a good time. I was speaking to her on the phone last week and asked her why she decided not to date him again. She told me he was just to old for her. She did not want a relationship with a man over 50. "She had a young personality and needed someone much younger." Dinner was fine once but nothing more.
This is a woman that is in her mid 40's, has health issues, and is not in the best of shape physically(meaning in a PC way she is about fifty pounds overweight). She has two children at home and was wanting a man that likes family life. She wanted someone that will accept her children, help support her financially and emotionaly, plus not be controlling and have no baggage like exs etc.
This guy is 52, never sick, and in great shape physically. He is funny, modest, and financially well off. Loves kids, widowed, great personality and just all round great guy.
She crossed him off because he was over 50?
I guess I just don't get this kind of thinking. Can someone enlighten me?
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| 5/17/2006 9:09:36 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Yeah, people live in a fantasy world. I personally have never had any expectations when interacting online or meeting for the first time. I do however know of men and women who set impossible standards so they can do what is their handy bad habit and what they are comfortable with: walking in "oh poor me" land and talking incessantly about there being no good people left to date. Now, I like fantasies, but this one is a total moronic drag baby! LOL As a female who is over weight I have had a few guys tell me that they think I am beautiful but would be a GODDESS if I lost a little weight............how's that for irritating? I just refuse to see them anymore and direct them to available slim girls because I just cannot figure out why they pursue me if they want a model. Weird and kinda funny after I've thought about it for awhile. LOL Kat
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| 5/17/2006 11:07:11 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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emtnancy50
New London, WI
age: 56
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Chucky..Ill take his name and number...LOL I prefer older but active
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| 5/17/2006 11:15:20 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Chucky,
Where can I purchase myself a viagra-laden, semi-comotose, human male around 50? LOL Kat
[Edited 5/17/2006 11:15:36 AM ]
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| 5/17/2006 12:31:10 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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dustin
Roseville, CA
age: 30
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Women are not practical at all. They could have a great guy right in front of them but they wouldn't know it because they are blind. What do they want exactly?? I don't know.
Then again men are probably the same way. I guess we all just hope that we will find that perfect person so we wait and pass other opportunities up.
I just hope I don't die a hermit living in a cave somewhere. At this rate I give it a 50/50 chance.
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| 5/17/2006 12:46:22 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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Hey Justin, caves ain't so bad.
I kind of like mine. Besides, the critters will keep you company and never ask you if they look fat...LOL
Oh yea...Kat...WOMEN!
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| 5/17/2006 1:13:23 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Ohhhhhh......ganging up on me are ya? Yes, men are ever so darling and never an ounce of trouble. What WAS I thinking? LOL Kat
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| 5/17/2006 1:50:13 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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You wasn't Kat...but thats Ok, because you are a WOMAN...LOL
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| 5/17/2006 2:30:28 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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emtnancy50
New London, WI
age: 56
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ok guys Not fair ganging up on Kat...MEN! They cant see a good one if its right infront of their face .....They all think with their little heads LOL
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| 5/17/2006 2:55:24 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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But Kat is so much fun to pick on...She's so cute...LOL
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| 5/17/2006 3:05:05 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Kiss my what Chucky? LOL Kat
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| 5/17/2006 3:05:53 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Love ya for that EMT! LOL Kat
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| 5/17/2006 3:09:47 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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Now Kat, you can't be that desperate...can you?.
You would settle for only a kiss?...LOL
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| 5/17/2006 4:19:09 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Oh, I am sure YOU would not settle for just a kiss! LOL Kat
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| 5/17/2006 4:30:27 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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january1
Monroe, NY
age: 60
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Chucky, ROFL His name is Dustin not Justin and he is big chief around here.
B
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| 5/17/2006 4:39:53 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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Guess next time I had better use my glasses when reading things on here...LOL
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| 5/17/2006 5:29:09 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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january1
Monroe, NY
age: 60
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Lol how do you think I read that hee hee I finally found my glasses that were also on my head.
B
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| 5/17/2006 7:19:58 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 58
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But who knows..... I think there could be a 1 in a 1,000,000 out here for me.... And Nancy??? My big head thinks pretty well. It's just the little head that seems to do a lot of talkin'. Just a bunch of manly jibberish. It's "Synapse Malfuntionality" It's a common male problem. Cured with dual sensitivity and latex! ROFL!
Hugz, Darlin!
Krazz
PS: WOMEN!!!!!!!!!
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| 5/17/2006 8:36:47 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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emtnancy50
New London, WI
age: 56
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LMAO MEN>>>>Hugs Babe
[Edited 5/17/2006 8:37:19 PM ]
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| 5/18/2006 5:30:17 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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green_eyed_hunk
Melbourne Beach, FL
age: 34
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Wow chuck. thats wild. maybe her girlfriend has been lying to her telling her she has it going on. I don't know man. 2 kids, family life? I wish her luck finding a younger guy. Well maybe if he is homeless and waits on her hand and foot. Also, not too easy on the eyes. Other than that, she has her hands full from the sound of it.
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| 1/13/2007 4:15:26 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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sentenced420
Bethlehem, PA
age: 38
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Ever since I've been on the internet dating secene. I've learned not to come in with high hopes and high expectations. That will only lead to disappointment. I've come across numerous women's profiles and how they make such unrealistic demands. They come in with a list and surely will leave with only a list. Talk about being regimented and structured. Yeah, I understand that men can be the same way. I mean they should realize that we're only human and we're not perfect.....far from it. Yes, we have our flaws, faults and quirks in our character that only makes us human. What ever happen to giving the person the benefit of the doubt or giving a person that chance to see where it goes. I'll have to admit that ppl that have unrealistic demands will only be selling themselves short.
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| 1/18/2007 3:58:20 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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sebastianlady
Sebastian, FL
age: 53
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I really like this question, and though it is an old one, I have come back to it a few times. Maybe it is because I have been in a reflective frame of mind the last few months.
Do people expect too much? Maybe. Maybe people read more into what is written than is there, as they read through profiles, too.
I was married at 19 and then divorced 20 years later. In the 10 years I have been divorced, I have had 2 LTR. I gave my all to all 3. The first gave me the second list of all the things I could do or not do to keep us together. Have you seen Stepford Wives? I was one. The second just wasn't a good match. The 3rd could not deal with the death of my father and days before he died, he went for gas and did not return. To that I say thank you.
After the divorce and the mismatch, I had a 5 page list of what I would require in the next partner. I was going to be particular in my request. After a while, I realized how exclusionary that was and cut it down to just a few lines of importance. The one who left was all of the things on the shortened, but most important list. After he left, I added, the ability to stay through hard times.
People sometimes read more into the written word than is there. I can write something in a happy mood, but the ready might be hurt or angry... the whole interpretation of the words changes. Also, with profiles, I think fantasy comes into play. The fantasy of the reader might not be the same as the writter. In that way, I think sometimes internet dating sites open the way for disappointment.
There is one here who writes on his profile something to the effect that he is learning and sometimes fragile. To me, I read that as treat me with kindness. That is my interpretation, not necessarily what is so because sometimes, he does not speak to others in the style he wants to be spoken to, in my view.
There is just so much to learn about ourselves and about others.
Sorry for the rambling.
SL
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| 1/19/2007 12:03:11 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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This is an old post! But valid point. We all have to view other's profiles with
openness of what to expect in thiers and also what we list on ours.
The other side to this is to attract others when they read the forum posts...which you don't do if you are constantly talking badly about the opposite sex in your town, saying they act this way and that way to you, when it just makes you look like a loser who whines a lot that no one here is going to want either...
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| 1/20/2007 11:56:57 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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strongslowhand
Annapolis, MD
age: 49
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Fantasy? Oh, c'mon. I really can go 12 times in an evening.
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| 1/21/2007 1:41:55 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 50
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They aint talkin bout goin to the bathroom, Slow.
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| 1/21/2007 9:19:26 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Crissy..........you are too funny! Hope you took out the stand-by bridesmaid in the process. LOL
[Edited 1/21/2007 9:20:09 AM ]
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| 1/21/2007 11:56:03 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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tigger35670
Somerville, AL
age: 53
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He sounds good to me Chucky. Send him my way. Ha!
Tigger
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| 1/21/2007 2:16:43 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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gawd
Appleton, WI
age: 56
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12 times in a night..hmm when men brag they usually dont have anything to brag about..or slow WERE you talking about going to the bathroom..or in your dreams LOL J/k
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| 1/24/2007 7:45:13 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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lulu24
Conway, AR
age: 36
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*waves at ken*
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| 1/24/2007 8:51:06 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Dangggggggggggg.........you brought the whole crew! It should get very interesting indeed. I was getting bored. thanks! LOL
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| 1/24/2007 9:09:08 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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lulu24
Conway, AR
age: 36
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lol, she's quite persuasive...
and i don't know about the nice thing.
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| 1/26/2007 6:52:24 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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willamenia
Strunk, KY
age: 48
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hey dustin I think your a beautiful person inside and very handsome too.lots of luck babe you wont have any problem finding any woman.
[Edited 1/26/2007 7:04:18 AM ]
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| 1/26/2007 10:20:39 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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cutiepie31
Minneapolis, MN
age: 35
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People are people. If we like them we message them according to there profile. I wouldn't say it is a fantasy world. In a way these dating sites are a fantasy world. Anyways, that is what I think. Have a great day! Brandi.
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| 1/27/2007 2:35:39 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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It would seem that Jeanc only has a couple more years then she will be unappealing to herself...to use a age to decide who you date or find appealing shows, in my opinion, a very shallow person. Kind of like not dating the gimp girl because she limps and losing out on a wonderful person in your life.
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| 1/27/2007 4:52:29 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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I am cruel to say what I believe? or is it just you believe you are so right? You date who you want, but your shallow personality does show though. It is what you put out there, so learn to deal with it. So just because I find you shallow I can not get a date? Now that shows more how shallow you are...LOL Sorry just because you feel you are so hot does not mean the rest of us do....but then you have all those rich hot guys chasing you...you do not need our approval...you are your own self...
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| 1/27/2007 6:47:36 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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sebastianlady2
Pensacola, FL
age: 82
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Wow. I am so very sorry that I brought this topic back as Sebastianlady because of the style of communication that it has brought about. To me it feels like a tornado and the distruction left in the path of such communication leaves me sad.
If it were possible to take the anger out of the last few posts, we might actually see that we DO have unrealistic expectations. Do others see us as we do? Do we hear with our hearts what they write or are we reading what they say in our own frame of mind at the moment we read?
Do we really know what people here are saying or do our own past experiences color our view?
That is all I was trying to say when I was here as Sebastianlady. I know I didn't say it well. Maybe, I still didn't.
Meant with kindness.
SL
[Edited 1/27/2007 6:54:09 AM ]
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| 1/27/2007 7:50:22 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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We do see ourselves in a light we enjoy, anyone that sees us different sometimes anger us. But we are who we are, that can not change because we want it too. Others will judge us regardless if we like it or not, some will voice that, others will keep it to themself. The measure of an adult it the ability to accept others opinion.
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| 1/27/2007 8:00:28 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Jeanc,
Thank you for being honest and expressing your opinion. There are a few people on here who will judge you and be condescending..........and deem themselves to be always right and noble. I am glad you joined this sight. But then again, I am sure you can hold your own as you have already proven. LOL
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| 1/27/2007 8:09:22 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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Then again we are all understanding how nonjudgmental you are Kat...LOL
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| 1/27/2007 8:14:05 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Well, at least I don't pretend not to be then attack people for what I have decided are there flaws....ok, I guess I will let you have the last word on this since I know from experience that it does no good to continue a debate lest I suddenly am labeled a bully. I am sure you are right in this and all things sir. LOL
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| 1/27/2007 8:22:55 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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You did get the Sir thing right this time Kat...LOL
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| 1/27/2007 8:53:08 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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Lack of self worth? interesting augment of those that have nothing else, we can not have you so we want you? How shallow is that? You are again what you are. Just a little note you will not believe, just because we are older does not mean you are desirable. I was the guy the liked played with older women. They was so easy...
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| 1/27/2007 10:54:36 AM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 50
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Thank god I'm old and dont understand..........
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| 1/27/2007 12:07:51 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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sinfulcharming
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 44
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How to handle arguments
Grandpa Cartmell was celebrating his 100th birthday and Everybody complimented him on how athletic and well- preserved he appeared.
"I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk. Gentlemen, I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now." 
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| 1/27/2007 12:15:24 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 58
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I don't want to undertand.... there seems to be a bit of bile and vitriol going on here.
Hey Chucky? Chill, dude.... Just a wee bit antagonistic aren't we?
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| 1/27/2007 12:29:21 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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not at all Krazz, she still seems to come across as shallow and self centered to me. Why does it that she is a women that she can be right? As is known here, I do speak my mind at times, if you disagree with me that is your opinion.
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| 1/27/2007 1:31:52 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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It does not actually have anything to do with you wanting to date much younger men, it has more to do with the way you present yourself. My last live in girlfriend was 22, I am dating a girl that is 19. Nothing to do to the age, but because they are who they are. I enjoy their company. I will date a older woman in a minute, but they need to be able to keep up with the physical activities that I enjoy doing. I do also date a woman that is 55 and she is very active an can keep up with me. In fact she can out do the 19 year old and me both, we are normally behind her when we go on hikes...LOL
You can not seem to let it go that I feel you are immature and self centered. That alone shows me and others what kind of woman you are. Some people will just not like you, get use to it and deal with it. It will happen.
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| 1/27/2007 2:27:43 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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jeannies
Diamond Bar, CA
age: 64
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Sinfulcharming, you are so wise, your stories were great!
[Edited 1/27/2007 3:08:33 PM ]
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| 1/27/2007 2:43:24 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 63
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If you do not care, why are you responding so defensively? If others care so much about you then why do you care what I think? You think just because I am older then you that you can insult me by calling me that?...LOL Age it your issue, not mine. Again you prove out what I said at first, you are immature and self centered. Yes, I do date more then one woman at a time, it is called dating, not a relationship...LOL
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| 1/27/2007 5:01:28 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 58
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chrissy? I am so totally with you on this one... It is way to wordy, and not much more than a personal attack, or two, or three....
LOL!
Krazz
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| 1/27/2007 5:19:12 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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I'm not so sure Krazz...I mean how cool is it for new folks to come in and start hammering Chucky...not that he can't dish it out or stand up for his self but I havn't been that impressed with this Jean person myself...I've just been polite (I know why start now, lol)...but I don't like Chucky getting attacked by an outsider...I mean we can bicker between ourselves for fun but to let her tear him up is not cool!!!!
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| 1/27/2007 5:21:10 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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So Jean...Everyones opinions are welcome but STOP ATTACKING CHUCKY!!!
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| 1/27/2007 5:26:41 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 58
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<------------------ Sitting in the front row, analyzing all this, and enjoying the fight. But please, lets keep the posts to under 500 words!!!! At my age, the attention span has diminished a pinch.
Oh man Dez, so I have to come to Chucky's rescue???? He is a bit cranky since his return. What's up with that?
Oh well, I'll just "pee like a racehorse" and chase away the weak and timid. The "new ones"??? I have a special treat for them! It's kinda' like beans for horses, if you get my drift.
Krazz
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| 1/27/2007 5:41:36 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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lynn53
Hemet, CA
age: 60
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I'm in the second row and can't see though Krazz's big head LOL
But, hey why don't you two put it to rest and both stop wanting the last word..let it go!!
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| 1/27/2007 5:41:55 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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sebastianlady2
Pensacola, FL
age: 82
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never mind
[Edited 1/27/2007 6:15:07 PM ]
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| 1/27/2007 6:00:50 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 58
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DING!!!!! Round 2!
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| 1/27/2007 6:06:50 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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That's right Krazz... some folks just have to get the last word in on the matter, huh? LOL
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| 1/27/2007 6:10:47 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 58
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Yep, right!
LOL! 
[Edited 1/27/2007 6:11:02 PM ]
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| 1/27/2007 6:28:18 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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califgirl1
Martinsville, VA
age: 65
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I have been following your discussions for a week or so, but this one is really out there. I haven't joined because you all seem like old friends, and that is great. But this has been a real eye opener. I didn't realize there is soooo much anger out there.
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| 1/27/2007 6:35:10 PM |
Unrealistic Expectations |
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sebastianlady2
Pensacola, FL
age: 82
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Sometimes, people feel and speak passionately. This one bothers me because I was the one who brought an old discussion back and I feel responsible for the way things have turned to some degree.... even though the issue seems to be between others.
It is windy now, but it will settle down.
Stay.
There are truly are nice people here.
(I think a few... maybe me, too... are working through a few issues. Sometimes it is not easy finding your way in the single world....... AGAIN!!)
SL
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