| 12/17/2007 10:31:34 AM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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I hope you like it! Perhaps it could have been also posted to the thread of over 50 and afraid to change--
Women in a Sauna
Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.
The others looked at her questioningly..."That was my pager" she said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained "that was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand".
The older woman felt very low-tech. Not to be out done, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end.
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The older woman finally said...
WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT...I'M GETTING A FAX!
[Edited 12/17/2007 1:32:22 PM]
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| 12/18/2007 8:18:44 PM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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wkg
Merrifield, VA
age: 53
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Nice one Sorprano;I just wonder how long is that fax.
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| 12/18/2007 8:34:50 PM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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well here's another funny one from my home town fire department...
One dark night in the city of Wayne , New Jersey , a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene,the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out and delivers them to me."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate.....
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer to rescue the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.
Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Paterson , New Jersey Volunteer Fire Department composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Italian firefighters, passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance that was as if they were fighting to save their own lives. Within a short time, the Paterson </ SPAN> old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters.
A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The TV reporter asked the Italian fire chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Wella." said Chief Pasquale De Luccinellavanti, the 70-year-old fire chief, "De fursta tinga we gonnna do isza fixa uppa de brakes on dat fockinna truck!!"
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| 12/19/2007 7:36:20 AM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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mrsmiles4444
Culpeper, VA
age: 51
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oh Sorprano that was priceless. sending off to all my friends.
thanks for the laughs. Only Jersey folks tell good ones like that. 
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| 12/19/2007 7:57:37 AM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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sweetness1954
Hebron, IN
age: 53
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Oh, my God. Soprano, your the best!
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| 12/19/2007 8:04:38 AM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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thank you guys--i like telling funny ones and reading good stuff on both the forums and the 50's group--laughter gets us in the mood and if you can make just one person laugh--you're making someone's day--yes, the fire dept joke is actually like i said it was--got to love old timers--
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| 12/19/2007 8:12:01 AM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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lotus3
Venice, FL
age: 55 online now!
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Sorprano 
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| 12/19/2007 12:27:16 PM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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tahnks for viewing lotus
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| 12/19/2007 3:10:37 PM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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wkg
Merrifield, VA
age: 53
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Nice one Soprano.
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| 12/19/2007 5:47:54 PM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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maybe some of you can post something to this thread for a few smiles and laughs--
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| 12/21/2007 9:46:50 AM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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Who Could Understand These people anyhow???
I had a bunch of Euros I needed to exchange, so I went to the
currency exchange window at the local bank.
Short line.
Just one lady in front of me. . .an Asian lady who was trying to
exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . . .
She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"
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Ole and Sven
Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in
Minneapolis . One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the
hangar with nothing to do. Ole said, "I vish ve had somethin ta drink!"
Sven says, "Me too. Y'know, I've hear you can drink dat yet fuel an get a
buzz. Ya vanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got
completely smashed.
Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he
feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
The phone rang. It was Sven who asks "How iss you feelin dis mornin?"
Ole says, "I feel great. How bout you?"
Sven says, "I feel great, too. Ya don't have no hangover?"
Ole says, "No dat yet fuel iss great stuff -- no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta
do dis more often."
Sven agreed."Yeah, vell, but dere's yust vun ting."
Ole asked, "Vat's dat?"
Sven questioned, "Haff you farted yet?"
Ole stopped to think. "No "
"Vell, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Milvaukee"
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| 12/21/2007 10:14:28 AM |
keeping up with high tech ---funny |
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lorlie
Eugene, OR
age: 51 online now!
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