1/23/2010 10:25:51 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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candyandy77
Hamilton, OH
age: 32 online now!
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Ok how does this on line date thing work? I have a few guys I'm interested in, but when I tell them they aren't the only ones I'm talking to they seem to disappear. Any input you have will be appreciated.
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1/23/2010 10:55:43 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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littebiggguy
Lucasville, OH
age: 26
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some guys get mad if ur there friend and talking to other guys but not all guys r a** hole like that
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1/23/2010 10:58:18 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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aspateer
Middletown, OH
age: 32
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ive not disapeared.... im still here.... still interested, just keepin my distance
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1/23/2010 11:01:16 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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treecey
Akron, OH
age: 19 online now!
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I think that's very interesting, because some guys don't stick to one woman themselves. I guess they may not like the competition, or don't want to put too much energy into something that won't work out. But I think it's way hotter when someone wants you enough to fight for you.
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1/23/2010 11:24:06 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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aspateer
Middletown, OH
age: 32
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the thing is.... in my experience when a girl has had other options... she ALWAYS choses them and leaves me in the dust....
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1/23/2010 11:32:18 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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cclay33
Fredericktown, OH
age: 33
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I think that's very interesting, because some guys don't stick to one woman themselves. I guess they may not like the competition, or don't want to put too much energy into something that won't work out. But I think it's way hotter when someone wants you enough to fight for you.
exactly. he should still email her. whether she dating others or not. and yes guys have that i will date 5 woman and those woman can not date anyone but him thing going on.
Guys we are not stupid. we are ok with you keeping ur options open. but she absolutely should too. Until the words lets commit to each or something. girlfriend boyfriend things going on.
but me knowing guys are like that i tend to TRY MY DAMNEDEST to talk to one at a time. but sometimes u get that feeling going on and u can't help but email back cuz they said SOMETHING right. lol or sometimes u cant help email back cuz they said the worst thing possible and u got to cuss a few out.
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1/23/2010 11:34:42 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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cclay33
Fredericktown, OH
age: 33
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Ok how does this on line date thing work? I have a few guys I'm interested in, but when I tell them they aren't the only ones I'm talking to they seem to disappear. Any input you have will be appreciated.
and girl aspateer is a good guy. he just needs a little shove to get out of his grumpyness. lol
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1/23/2010 11:42:55 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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treecey
Akron, OH
age: 19 online now!
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For me, I'm more apt to going for a guy who seems able to give me more attention. So if a guy is busy, I probably haven't spent enough time with him to like him a whole lot, and will go for someone else who I can see more often... *shrugs* just me.
Job, and amount of money a guy makes is irrelevant at my point in life. I would rather someone treat me with respect first.
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cclay33 I totally agree with you! Sometimes that guy just says the right things and makes you feel special! Or you find something that you don't like about the other guy that's a complete turn off...
And sorry I don't know how to quote, I'm guessing that I don't have that option or something? lol
[Edited 1/23/2010 11:45:19 AM PST]
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1/23/2010 11:44:11 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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nobs4u
Mansfield, OH
age: 49
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You kids! All of us ALWAYS have other options.I was married for 24 years and OMG the women that hit on me then,where the Hell are ya now!? I actually asked a lady I am interested in if it was ok to be writing to other women,cuz it ,somehow,just doesnt SEEM right,ya know?She was cool with it,we both live too far away from each other,for now,to REALLY be exclusive,and we havent (yet) met.She was honest with me ,too.Said she's talkin to other guys.I am cool with that,in fact,I hope she finds what she's looking for and gets to be HAPPY the rest of her life.REALLY,she deserves to be happy,I hope it happens.If I am a big part of that, way cool,if not,way cool too,maybe talkin to me put things in perspective for her and she can make better decisions as to what she REALLY wants!IT'S ALL GOOD!Treat each other with respect,HONESTY,and dignity,the rest will fall into place!
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1/23/2010 11:44:39 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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aspateer
Middletown, OH
age: 32
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well... ive been shit on many times.... its really hard for me to open up and be myself, and be positive about things.
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1/23/2010 11:56:25 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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cclay33
Fredericktown, OH
age: 33
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well... ive been shit on many times.... its really hard for me to open up and be myself, and be positive about things.
i will be the first one to tell u that u have dealt with some chit. but i think you should fight for her. It shows u care. If a guy doesn't well in my mind they r most likely trying to see if she will give it up. or she isn't worth they're time. so they didn't want her to begin with. but its obvious u want to make time for her. START TALKING GIVE HER A REASON TO CHOOSE U OVER ALL THE GUYS. If ur looking for a relationship u will fight if u don't think u should then maybe u didn't want to have a true relationship to begin with.
Your friend,
Carolyn
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1/23/2010 12:02:03 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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aspateer
Middletown, OH
age: 32
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thats the thing carolyn... i HAVE been talking to her... CONSTANTLY... for over a week
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1/23/2010 12:06:46 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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candyandy77
Hamilton, OH
age: 32 online now!
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well... ive been shit on many times.... its really hard for me to open up and be myself, and be positive about things.
Man really! You can't live in the past. What happend, happend for a reason. Take it a a life lesson and move on, don't dwell on that stuff .
I don't mean to bring religion into this , and hope I don't offend any one,
I think, my higher power who I call God
Puts people in your life for a reason, and also takes them out. At the time we may not know why it happens or understand what's going on, but later on we look back (not dwel) and say wow .
Look at some of the things you have been through, and see how you have grown and became a better person.
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1/23/2010 12:20:47 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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cclay33
Fredericktown, OH
age: 33
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Man really! You can't live in the past. What happend, happend for a reason. Take it a a life lesson and move on, don't dwell on that stuff .
I don't mean to bring religion into this , and hope I don't offend any one,
I think, my higher power who I call God
Puts people in your life for a reason, and also takes them out. At the time we may not know why it happens or understand what's going on, but later on we look back (not dwel) and say wow .
Look at some of the things you have been through, and see how you have grown and became a better person.
ok sweetie. He is very grumpy for a reason. but it just so happens you caught his eye while he still needed to heal from the last girl. IM AM TELLING U DON'T THROW HIM AWAY EITHER because hes mr. negative. he needs a friend. And u should be friends too with THE ONE if u find him.
second my personal thoughts. if u cant talk about the past with someone there's no point in talking at all. but if u want to keep emotions out of the relationship then he could always find a friend to tell his whole world too. Is that what ud rather in a relationship to keep things separate. Even if its a guy friend.
u totally don't want to hear what he has to say. Just saying
and b4 u say its to soon to hear it all. i also think that's a bunch of crock too. There could be things that make him who he is. and u should hear those b4 hand.
Its not always dwelling. because sometimes the past comes back to haunt ur nightmares over and over. so u should discuss hurts with people.
[Edited 1/23/2010 12:43:56 PM PST]
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1/23/2010 12:35:50 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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cclay33
Fredericktown, OH
age: 33
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thats the thing carolyn... i HAVE been talking to her... CONSTANTLY... for over a week
and for u. stop smothering her with all ur negativeness. it will get depressing. it is for u. so it will be for who u tell too.
and if u email her constantly well maybe she don't like that either. ESPECIALLY if its all negative.
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1/23/2010 12:40:55 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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candyandy77
Hamilton, OH
age: 32 online now!
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ok sweetie. He is very grumpy for a reason. but it just so happens you caught his eye while he still needed to heal from the last girl. IM AM TELLING U DON'T THROW HIM AWAY EITHER because hes mr. negative. he needs a friend. And u should be friends too with THE ONE if u find him.
second my personal thoughts. if u cant talk about the past with someone there's no point in talking at all. but if u want to keep emotions out of the relationship then he could always find a friend to tell his whole world too. Is that what ud rather in a relationship to keep things separate. Even if its a guy friend.
u totally don't want to hear what he has to say. Just saying
and b4 u say its to soon to hear it all. i also think that's a bunch of crock too. There cold be things that make him who he is. and u should hear those b4 hand.
Its not always dwelling. because sometimes the past comes back to haunt ur nightmares over and over. so u should discuss hurts with people.
Ok maybe dwell was the wrong word. I'm always open to hear what people have to say and what they have been through, but there is only so much negative stuff one can take.
I've been through some stuff in my life , but I'm not going to spill it all out when I first start talking to someone.
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1/23/2010 2:14:17 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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aspateer
Middletown, OH
age: 32
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i have been thru alot, and it does effect me in ways that i dont like.... its given me a really hard shell. i dont trust anyone, but i want to learn to, i NEED to learn to. i am a really great guy, and i have alot to offer to the one willing to let me show them that all of us guys arent the same, and there is NO ONE... NO ONE out there like me. i am unique, i have alot of skills, im great with people, better with words. im a hard worker, a fast learner, im intelligent, funny, caring, loving....
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1/23/2010 2:45:09 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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goodman4sum1
Canton, OH
age: 41
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You two should get a room.
The personal stuff to and about each other can be sent via message, don't have to air it in public.
Just sayin.
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1/23/2010 3:10:41 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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candyandy77
Hamilton, OH
age: 32 online now!
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Ok how does this on line date thing work? I have a few guys I'm interested in, but when I tell them they aren't the only ones I'm talking to they seem to disappear. Any input you have will be appreciated.
Sorry about that
To get back on the topic.
AnYone else have any in put on how online dating works?
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1/23/2010 4:50:14 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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legaleye
Columbus, OH
age: 57
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Dont tell them. You owe them no explanation. Just make sure you can keep up with all the conversations you are in and can keep em all straight. See how it goes in terms of email, chat, phone and then if you decide to meet. My personal view is that I would like to meet someone pretty quickly, a matter of weeks at the most, so I can see someone face to face and see if what I think is there from the conversations is there in person. If so, then go from there.
But really, you dont owe someone an explanation in an online environment, unless you are at a point in time where someone can truly be hurt by what you do or dont do. For me, once again, online is online, up close and personal is another level.
And when you decide to meet someone, you two pick a mutually agreeable time and place, and you keep up your end of the bargain by showing up. There is no problem with having coffee with guy 1 on Tuesday and guy 2 on Thursday to see what they are like in person.
Personally I assume that anyone I am speaking with has the right to speak to others at the same time, unless and until we "get something going together" (I leave that undefined...for different people it may mean different things), at which point we should be focusing more on us than others.
Enjoy.
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1/23/2010 5:46:52 PM |
ok how does this work? |
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cclay33
Fredericktown, OH
age: 33
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well i don't have friends cuz of my ex mostly. but here is the only place to go. and id hope people would respect others enough to give opinions and stuff. just because its about another guy doesn't mean a DAMN thing. Until u meet THE ONE possibly there should not be jealousy or i shouldn't email her cuz shes obviously talking to someone else.
Ive learned recently i does not matter.
sorry im edgy right now. lol
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1/24/2010 4:42:58 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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lucas510
Wadsworth, OH
age: 25
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How it works. Well it is probably one of the best networking tools available to people right now for dating. Does it work, I think it works just as well as finding someone at your local eating establishment. Its all a shot in the dark. I think the best way for it to work is to not get your hopes up. When I first got on here I thought I would run into a lot of good women that I could choose from. Yeah, that didn't happen. The girl I'm seeing now actually ended up writing me because she enjoyed reading all of my forum posts. I guess when she told me she was talking to other guys I got a bit jealous, but if anything it made me work harder to impress. Thats just me though. I've had a lot of fun posting on here and have had some good conversations on here with men and women. I think its just what your looking to get out of it. I'm not really sure this question can really be answered. The answer is how does it work for you. Everyone has a different mentality about what they want in men and women. Should never get upset if someone stops emailing.
ex. when I met this girl I'm seeing I was off of here for a couple days. well when I returned I had 3 emails from a women who I was also talking to and all that she had to say was that I was just another stupid man who led her on. Pretty much what every "I don't get it" thread sais. I only talked to her a couple evening and now she is pissed. WTF. Then of coarse she posted a thread about a man she just met that led her on. This stuff is supposed to be fun, everyone takes it way to fast. Slow the hell down. Stuff doesn't happen over night.
there is my 2 cents and I'm sticking with it.
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1/24/2010 4:45:17 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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easydaddy2loveu
Dayton, OH
age: 40 online now!
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Well you put your left hand in and you shake it all about.. Oh wait this isnt a sex ed. class my bad.. Please disreguard my response
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1/24/2010 9:19:21 AM |
ok how does this work? |
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legaleye
Columbus, OH
age: 57
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People who live in fantasy worlds, people who are very lonely and people who have other unmet needs often project a fantasy vision of a relationship even before meeting someone in person, or even talking to them for more than a couple of times. Lucas' observation is correct in that there are people who think that as soon as they say hi, its exclusive. When they find out that someone has a life, i.e. life outside the internet, they get all huffy and the accusations fly. I feel sorry for such people, but if the flesh hasnt been pressed and the spit exchanged, oh well.
That goes back to my prior post. When I first engage in conversation, I am more than happy to answer questions and engage in honest conversation. However, when talking with someone online for the second or third time, it is even appropriate to start sizing someone up in terms of who else they may be talking to? Personally I think one is a long way from being that intrusive.
Many years ago I was chatting with someone from Michigan. Her teenage kids were in my area for an activity that didnt involve mom other than as chauffeur and bank, so we went out twice. When she got back to Michigan she started planning "our wedding." Yeah right. And this happens with both men and women. Unrealistic expectations and when they are not met they get angry and the language gets accusatory or even abusive. All part of human nature.
Life goes on.
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