| 1/18/2008 8:36:16 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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mbk1961
Farmington, IL
age: 49
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My girlfriend died in June,2006. Technically, I'm not a widower but I feel like one. Can I post here?
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| 1/18/2008 11:07:22 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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annazzassi
Newport News, VA
age: 60
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I would say yes, even though the group says widowers it also says for those who lost someone they love. It helps to have a place to talk where people understand losing a partner.
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| 1/19/2008 1:48:12 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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auntiekk
Bellingham, MA
age: 47
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Of course you can I have and they welcomed me with open arms the support these people give you is really wonderful.You should read the post from here and see the responses they give.We all grieve in our own way and we all need someone to talk to about what we are going through.Married or not they are still in our hearts.
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| 1/19/2008 9:08:25 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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faith32
Bedford, IN
age: 51
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Welcome. What did you want to say in here, MBK? You can talk about her or your feelings for her or what you feel now that she's gone....Anything. That's what we do in this group. We cry, laugh & share together. It's a good group to be in.
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| 1/19/2008 10:03:29 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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61sunshine
North Augusta, SC
age: 65
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Yes, this group is to support others that have lost someone they loved deeply. Until you have gone through it you really don't understand how someone feelHaving been there twice I hope I can be of help to someone to be able to move on with life. We will always have the memories but we cannot stop living.
I hope you will be able to move on. The young lady will always have a special place in your heart but God doesn't intend for you to be alone.
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| 1/19/2008 4:03:28 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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mbk1961
Farmington, IL
age: 49
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She had Cancer when we first started dating. Her right arm was amputated. They wanted to take her legs off but she refused. It got into her brain
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| 1/19/2008 7:35:12 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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star2angel
Stateline, NV
age: 57
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I am so sorry for your loss. Just because you were not married, doesn't mean you didn't love her any less. I think that when you got together and you knew that she had cancer, but you stayed with her is something else. So many people would of ran. My husband also died of Cancer. Maybe someday there will be a cure for it.
You are in my prayers and I hope these chat rooms help you, they have me.
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| 1/19/2008 7:47:42 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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mbk1961
Farmington, IL
age: 49
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Thank you very much! I miss her alot
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| 1/19/2008 7:59:31 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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star2angel
Stateline, NV
age: 57
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you are very welcome
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| 1/20/2008 3:25:12 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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anewstart
Columbus, GA
age: 50
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If you loved her and you lot her yu are a widower you just don't have the paperwork. You can fathom what other widows and widowers are going through and we certainly know what you are going through as only we can understand. Please jump in and we will all relate. It's part of the healing process. Welcome aboard...
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| 1/22/2008 6:33:44 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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aprilviolet
New Milford, CT
age: 62
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My late husband had cancer, too. He died at age 54 just four months after diagnosis. He had two major operations during that time but it still spread to his brain. He had a stroke and lost his short term memory. My condolences to you. Many of us on this site have suffered like you. Just because you weren't legally married doesn't mean you weren't emotionally connected. It still hurts just as bad. We hope we can be of help. Talking about your feelings is important.
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| 1/24/2008 12:03:12 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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sweetsunshine38
Frankfort, OH
age: 40
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i just lost my boyfriend in 12/28/07 .he had alot of differnt things wrong with him.diabetes,goten kidney transplant,broken his leg and broken his hip.he just went down hill from everything else.i am trying my best to hang in there.
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| 1/26/2008 8:16:07 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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tndvdsgirl
Chattanooga, TN
age: 57
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I lost the father of my 2 youngest children when the children were 5 yrs and 1yr old. Gerry was working on a fishing scalloper when the boat started taking on water, 50 miles off the coast of Nantucket. The Coast Guard was guiding them in, when they realized they couldn't pump the water out fast enough and ordered the crew to abandon ship. Gerry went to get the man who was still in the engine room when the scalloper rolled and sunk within seconds. Try to tell a five year old that her best buddy is never coming home. This was back in the 80's, but still haunts.
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| 1/31/2008 7:05:25 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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teddybear61
Candler, NC
age: 64
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Hello group,
I also wasn't married to my man of 8 years, but I have never ever dreamed this would be as hard as it has been for me...He passed away Jan 17th 2006 and even though it has been 2 years it has been the hardest 2 years for me. I thought I was crazy just sitting in his favorite chair (we did not live together, but we should have), and I would sit there thinking about how he sat there and watched the ballgame we shared the love for that and to watch it now sitting in his chair..I feel close to him and catch myself saying out loud look at what he did he should have hit that, and I make sure not to miss any, but how can you explain to others how you feel close enough to talk to him without thinking I am looneytunes? But then who cares what people think lol...all I know is I never want to go through that again. But, I have one question I have been afraid to ask anyone... if you don't mind me asking without feeling like I am saying anything to hurt anyone..but I feel like I am ready to move on now and be sociable again, does people in my position ever compare the next guy to the last one..I sure wouldn't want to hurt anyone but does that happen, I haven't ever done that even with my ex-husband, but feel like I may and it makes me a little scared to date again although I feel I am ready...Thanks for listening
I do feel your hurt and I have finally come to grips with the thought that they can't come back to us but, we can go to them...Thanks guys for letting me sound off ..hoping not to hurt anyone if I did I am truly sorry....Prayers and best wishes in your healing for the new year may it be a better one.... TB61
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| 2/9/2008 3:27:12 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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mbk1961
Farmington, IL
age: 49
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TB61, I can't speak for anyone but myself. I constantly go to Pattys grave and talk to her. I think that she would want me to go on with my life and to be happy. I don't compare anyone to her because we are all different. There IS however, a place in my heart, that only she will occupy. When the pain seems like it's going to overtake me, I think of the good times and the love that we shared. I hope this helps......
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| 2/14/2008 4:11:59 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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sweetsunshine38
Frankfort, OH
age: 40
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i feel the same way too. its been 2 months that my boyfriend is gone. i'm haveing to go through the battle with my lawyor over my house and car that my boyfriend left me.and i have too deal with his bills i cant pay. i already had a nerves brake down over it.
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| 2/14/2008 5:38:01 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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star2angel
Stateline, NV
age: 57
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sweetsunshine,
I my heart goes out to you. I lost my husband last Fathers Day. I too had to deal with the bills and the lost of our home that we had picked out from the ground up. But it does get a little easier. You will never forget him, he will always have a special place in your heart. Take one day at a time and remember this place is a great place to talk to others that have been in the same place you now are in. I wish you the very best.
As I wish all the others here.
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| 2/14/2008 9:27:45 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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okinawa1968
Easley, SC
age: 43
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sweetsunshine , I lost my father to a drunk driver in 2004 and it almost destroed my entire family.
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| 5/27/2008 7:54:43 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 49
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I thought I would update everyone. I am/was mbk1961. I have met many great people here. I still tend Pattys grave and I still miss her, but time DOES heal. Getting on with my life now and am even open to a LTR. Thank you all and don't hesitate to ever ask me for anything!
Mike
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| 5/27/2008 8:39:51 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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cleverlady
Saint Paul, MN
age: 57
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Much love to everyone here and Im a Newbee here i was never married but i lost my.
My lil girls father virg in 1978 she was just two yrs old,we still miss the man 5/27/08
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| 7/9/2008 9:13:57 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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littlebumblebee
Hamilton, OH
age: 50
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me and dave were divorced but he was my kids dad i was married to him for 17 years at the time of his death we were divorced it still hurts i miss him so much. My boyfriend i new for 2 years just died i miss him to so much we had plans for the future but god saw different and took him.He was a widower and missed his wife now he is with francis.
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| 7/10/2008 7:24:58 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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lony24
Louisburg, NC
age: 69
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There is a cure for cancer but the drug companys won't put on the market, it is a tree that grows in the rain froest call GRAVIOLA, they could't pattent it so they keep it hid from the public my name is Raymond Nipper , i lost my wife in April 18 2008 i fell for you all my email address is [email protected]
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| 7/10/2008 7:30:13 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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lony24
Louisburg, NC
age: 69
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There is a cure for cancer but the drug companys won't put on the market, it is a tree that grows in the rain froest call GRAVIOLA, they could't pattent it so they keep it hid from the public my name is Raymond Nipper , i lost my wife in April 18 2008 i fell for you all my email address is [email protected]
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| 8/4/2008 8:23:37 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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utahdman
West Jordan, UT
age: 67
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If you both considered yourselves for all intents and purposes married then you were married. The city or county governments make money on permits and filing fees and for records. It's what's in your hearts that makes it a marriage. Don
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| 8/4/2008 9:23:10 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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widow_hatingit
Eastlake, OH
age: 62
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i feel the same way too. its been 2 months that my boyfriend is gone. i'm haveing to go through the battle with my lawyor over my house and car that my boyfriend left me.and i have too deal with his bills i cant pay. i already had a nerves brake down over it.
Sunshine, so sorry to hear of your loss. I was married 37 yrs, and 5 yrs ago he died at
55 yrs old, of colon cancer. Know you are going thru all kinds of emotions (mad at him for leaving you... and that still comes back alittle now and then)> BUT, wanted to let
you know, once a person dies, so does the responsibility to pay money he owed. (unless you signed for it, or were married and had an estate that needed settled)
Send all bills back to sender, unopenned, marked deceased.
No need to add to any stress you are going thru.
God Bless, BB
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| 8/5/2008 7:16:47 AM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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lilguppy2bit
Auburn, WA
age: 55
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we weren't married to each other, he was still married even though we had been together for 15 years his wife wouldn't give him a divorce. we were in a court battle for one we gained custody of a sm child,...now he is gone, the bills are still here my girl wants to know "when is papa coming home" much more along the same lines. he has been gone 9 months and????
Sorry,stilll get emotional and cry all over the place.
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| 8/5/2008 6:25:35 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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az_redsoxguy
Peoria, AZ
age: 47
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The best and worst moment of my entire life.
It's mid-sunset and the sky is black directly above, but a brilliant glowing red and umber on the horizon. She and I are in a double hammock tied between a palm and a patio pillar, swaying in about a 15 mph breeze with temperatures in the low 80s, the sound of the surf washes over the sand about 20 yards away and it mixes with this song just beginning on the stereo nearby.
She's curled around beside me with her leg draped over my legs and her head on my shoulder. I can smell the sea salt in her hair from when we had sex in the water a short time earlier. Our breathing is deep, in that just-before-falling asleep period of deep relaxation and contentment, my finger traces small circles on her hip as we lay there silently.
She takes a long, slow deep breath and very quietly says, "I really, really love you."
I smile, and recognize the moment for what it is. "Want to make it legal, then?"
She stiffens ever-so-slightly but doesn't move, and says, "Do you mean ...?"
"Yes," I said. "Will you marry me?"
Another long, deep breath ... "Yes. Definitely."
Four years ago this September, in Cabo San Lucas.
I lost her to an aneurysm six weeks before we could make it happen.
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| 8/5/2008 6:49:50 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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pacowiwa
Clearfield, PA
age: 47
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i lost my fiance 1 month before we were going 2 jamacia 2 get married lost her in an accident because of a wannabe truck driver didnt stop at a construction zone. miss her everyday but life goes on. dont know about this online thing.... givin it a try.. bar scene gets old. .... but i know she would want me to move on b happy....any how got that off my chest....
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| 8/5/2008 7:36:30 PM |
We weren't married..... can I still post here? |
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angelmermaid
Newport, OR
age: 49
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Beautifully and tragically told, AZ, and I empathize:
Love at first sight. We felt we were "soulmates"... perfect for each other in every way from the start. He told his best friend and daughter a week after we met that he was going to marry me. His family said he'd finally learned to love.
I felt the same, though I'd sworn I would never marry again after divorcing my kids' dad almost 10 years before, and had already lost one long term boyfriend to cancer between. I agreed, but held it off till he got himself out of the debt that had resulted from his divorce.
Lived together at my house for 2/12 years and, (after I sold mine) his for 6 months. Finally found a place we both loved where we had dreams of starting a blueberry farm. Bought the place, and a month later he was in a freak accident at work... his memorial was on the day we'd planned for our wedding. I drove to Alaska and spread his ashes in the place we'd planned to take our honeymoon. (He appeared to his ex-wife in a dream just after I made that decision -- before I told her -- ecstatic that he'd just "won his ticket to Alaska".)
Three years ago last month.
Ironic that he'd worked so hard to get himself out of debt for me but since I'd held off the marriage his adult daughter got everything except what I'd paid for (our house... and its mortgage, which was calculated to his much higher income). No widows benefits available from his job, and his ex-wife was still listed as beneficiary on his life insurance.
With help from family, friends, and "unexplainable" synchronistic happenings I've come through very well, been able to keep my house, and can now see the blessing in a life direction I don't think I would have otherwise taken.
Thank you my Love.
Paco, sorry. Seems a rash of 'near misses' here. And yes, they would want us to go on. This is a much better place to find people who understand than the bar scene.
[Edited 8/5/2008 8:02:50 PM ]
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