missing_out
Farmersville, TX
age: 26
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Okay, I admit it. I have been out of the dating scene for awhile. But have men forgotten how to kiss while I was gone? My last three dates have all culminated in a good night kiss but each time I nearly got ill. What gives? 
Maybe it depends on the number of dating partners a man has had, and his opportunities to experience physical intimacy, he may simply be out of practice, naive, inexperienced or lacking skills when it comes to kissing. Does this mean that he will always be a lousy kisser? No. He might need more practice or to be steered in the right direction.
You also have to examine whether his technique is flawed or his heart just isn't in it. Over time, men tend to lose interest in kissing as many would rather move quickly on to the "main event." In either case, here are some poor oral technicians to help you avoid them when at all possible.
Niagara Falls: A sloppy kisser who produces enough liquid for a regatta. Towel anyone?
The Undertaker: They exhibit a total lack of emotion, feel and make no effort to kiss back.
The Raw Oyster: They are cold and clammy to the touch and often have a runny nose.
The Octopus: Once you begin kissing, you'd swear that they have grown eight arms because their hands are all over your body (for some, this is a positive!).
The Brillo Pad: They haven't bumped elbows with shaving cream or a razor for days.
CPR: A person who exhales like a blowfish upon coming in contact with your lips.
The Pile Driver: Their tongue behaves like a drill bit on an oil rig in the Texas desert.
Cottonmouth Joe: Kissing them is like looking for water in Death Valley --none to be found.
Rawhide: They attempt to "Brand" you and leave their mark somewhere on your body.
Uh, Uh, Uh: They kiss you, but not quite, almost, but not quite. A little of this can be arousing, but when prolonged can become quite annoying. Heck, why do they need you?
Connect the Dots: They rapidly and sporadically kiss your entire facial area.
The Hoover: They kiss with the suction power of an upright vacuum cleaner.
The Deer in the Headlights: As you are passionately engaged in a pucker, you sneak a peak only to find them staring right back at you!
Mr. Ed (a.k.a. Jaws): From the moment you begin kissing, they never close their mouth. In fact, they keep it opened to the extent of their flexibility the entire time you're engaged. You haven't seen this many teeth and gums since the last Osmond family special.
The Roto Rooter: Their tongue ventures so far down your throat that it actually begins to choke you.
The Rooster: They begin to kiss you, then suddenly pull way . . .lean forward, then draw back!
The Swordfish: They operate their tongue much like a swordfish uses it's snout, in a blunt and violent manner.
The Grouper: As they kiss you, their lips (which could require their own zip code) completely engulf yours.
The Deep Sea Diver: They rarely come up for air.
The Lizard: Their tongue darts in and out of your mouth like a reptile probing for its next victim.
Frozen in Time: They never change the position, posture or angle of their head. It is as if they have mastered kissing cryogenics.
The Squid: They seem to excrete an awful flavor. All you can think of is how to slip them a breath mint.
The Wrecking Ball: They kiss like a battering ram. Whoa, look out, here they come again!
Nick-o-Teen: Kissing them is like licking the contents of a dirty ash tray. When you're done, you feel like taking a shower.
The Dental Hygienist: They use their tongue in an annoying effort to brush your teeth for you.
The Sloth: They kiss incredibly slowly and never modify their pace. You're so bored that you begin to prepare the next day's to do list in your mind.
The Road Runner: Beep, beep. They seem to be in a hurry to get somewhere else or on to the "main event."
Rigormortis: Their tongue never relaxes, always remaining stiff as a board.
Casper: They kiss so softly that you can't tell whether or not it actually happened. This requires you to have a good imagination.
 
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micky_grays
Cleveland, OH
age: 22 online now!
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u make kissing sound hard.
what gives?
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liferator
Statesville, NC
age: 27 online now!
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thats funny shit right there did you come up with it sre someone send it to you
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missing_out
Farmersville, TX
age: 26
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It seems it is hard for some guys, they just want to go straight to the main event!!  If your going to stick something in my mouth and gag me, don't make it your tongue!!
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