aerdeneb
Denver, CO
age: 21
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Please review my profile. Thanks 
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forums_only
Maple Ridge, BC
age: 48
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You've got some good information. Please delete the "I'm shy at first" line - that only lasts 15 minutes, your reader wants to know what you'll be like for the rest of the time.
Please add more photos - at least once closeup smiling head/shoulders shot.
The opening line is "I'm bilingual". Then you do nothing with it. If you're funny, here is the perfect opportunity to show it. "I can teach you to swear in 2 languages!" or "I can get us the best food at the (whatever) restaurant!"
Are you sending messages to girls you find interesting? Keep the messages short, specific to her profile and light-humoured. Ask only one question so she has an easy way to respond. Good luck!
[Edited 8/16/2010 8:04:54 AM ]
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canammiles
Detroit, MI
age: 39
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The good news is that you do sound happy and upbeat. The bad news is that it's kind of all over the place.
First, we can barely see you in your picture. Get a few face pictures with what Forums Only calls a big toothy grin!
I am bilingual. I grew up in my home country and I am here for college and pursue an outstanding life in the future.
What other language do you speak? What is your home country? You never actually say. You want to say that you are pursuing an outstanding life today.
I am engineering student at Metro.
Good. How long have you been there? What sort of engineering?
I have so many dreams that can be as thick as the webster's dictionary haha. I know what I'm doing in life and in the future,
Too airy-fairy. This is not the place to talk about your dreams in that way.
I want to work in the renewable energy field!
Okay, this is good. If you drop the dream/dictionary sentence, you have the school/career thing all in one area. Where you go to school, what you take and what you want to do. Perfect.
I am smart, strong, laid back, FUNNY and responsible person, but I'm shy at first.
Forum is correct, drop the shy part.
I like to travel. I have been to Poland, Russia and China (6 times).
Great, but it's popped in the middle of your describing your personality. say this else where.
I'm energetic and athletic. If I have time, I'm always at the gym playing basketball and working out. My favorite sports is Basketball.
Good.
I don't know the general rules of baseball and football, so if you are willing to teach me, I will start watching them. I love my family, we stick together like rice.
Drop all of this. Again you drop the family bit in right with her teaching you sports. It's all over the place.
My favorite music is Rap/hip hop, but I will listen to anything. I have two acoustic guitars and I play Ragtime/country Blues and pretty much everything.
Good stuff.
I know, blues is kind of old and boring to most people, and playing Blues is very complicated, but once i play them, it's very rewarding for me.
Drop this.
I'm looking for a woman around my age for dating or friendship, for now.
Fine.
I just want a woman who understands my life and will encourage me and challenge me to fulfill my dreams and I will also give you the same
Look, you want what you want and I can't make you write anything, but in my opinion this is too much too soon.you want to come across more casual than you are. People want to have a fun time at this point, not help a person that they do not know with their life.
I still have faith to find someone. So let's kick back, take a deep breath and know each other.
Why would you not have faith in finding someone?
Y'ALL GIRLS:
+ If you are cute, you can be actress in my movie
+ If you are intelligent, let's debate
+ If you work out, challenge me with your drills
+ If you can't cook, I can.
+ If you can't do math, I can do it.
+ If you can't fix things, I can do it.
+ If you hate driving in the snow, I can drive.
+ If you are cold, I can make u warm.
+ If you have a bad breath, COLGATE!
+ If you wanna slap me, then I have two legs and ten toes to run! HAHA
Personally, I wold drop this entire thing.
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her_evil_twin
Quinlan, TX
age: 56
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You've got some good information. Please delete the "I'm shy at first" line - that only lasts 15 minutes, your reader wants to know what you'll be like for the rest of the time.
I've noticed this in so many profiles.
Please, if you don't take any of the advice given, take these words of wisdom!
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