| 2/3/2008 9:57:54 AM |
just wondering |
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lars38
Silvis, IL
age: 38
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How many people on here feel like the have lost' the one"?
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| 2/3/2008 9:59:43 AM |
just wondering |
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katiescarlett72
Dallas, TX
age: 35
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What a depressing outlook.
I've loved several times in my life and I will love again. I don't believe in the concept of "the one." I think that there are different depths of love and the level to which you allow yourself to be vulnerable to it.
There was one time that I let someone in to the point that it took me a long, long time to get all the pieces of me back, but I eventually did. It'll happen again someday.
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| 2/3/2008 10:02:49 AM |
just wondering |
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lars38
Silvis, IL
age: 38
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I didnt mean for that to be depressing ,just curious.But you do make some good points
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| 2/3/2008 10:10:27 AM |
just wondering |
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katiescarlett72
Dallas, TX
age: 35
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Lars, I wasn't trying to bash you. I remember when I was younger believing very firmly that there was ONE PERFECT LOVE for each of us and being very concerned about finding THE ONE and keeping THE ONE. Then I found what I was sure was him ... and lost him. Then I found the next what I was sure was him ... and he turned into a toad. And so on.
Eventually I came to realize, that each love is true love, in its own way. The fact that it didn't last doesn't mean that I didn't love him, or he me. It just means that either we grew in two different directions, or we didn't take enough care to ensure that we attended to that love and grew it together, or whatever.
When life expectancy was 50 years and you were going to have children less than halfway into it, you had to settle on THE ONE pretty damn quick and if it turned out wrong, then you made the best of it. Now we have so many more options and so much more time for them all. If I meet a man that is my next "the one," and he turns out to truly be the one that I am going to spend the rest of my life with, I will be happy as a clam, because I'd love to grow old with someone and spend the rest of my life with them. But whatever that gene is that makes people want to stick no matter how miserably unhappy they are with someone, I simply didn't get it. I'll say for quite a while trying to work on things, weather them, make them better; but eventually I'll take door number two, thanks.
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| 2/3/2008 10:12:49 AM |
just wondering |
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silver_rain1011
Springfield, VA
age: 22
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Me... through no fault of my own... he was the guy who couldn't keep his snake in his cage... but knowing that I'm so glad I didn't marry him and find out later he was a liar and a cheater with illegitimate kids. Though I would have to say I've once entertained the idea (when the b*tch he had a one-night stand with got pregnant when he was engaged to ME) of rendering her unconscious and finding a back-alley butcher to give her an abortion and then tell him, "I fixed your mistake just this once, if you ever do it again... next time it will be you intead of that abomination!"... then proceed to beat the crap out of him and say, "Now what did you learn?"
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| 2/3/2008 10:14:09 AM |
just wondering |
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kycountrygrl
Madisonville, KY
age: 32
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I've loved and lost...but I don't think I've lost "the one" yet.
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| 2/3/2008 10:15:23 AM |
just wondering |
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peregrina
Lumberton, NC
age: 52
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<----------
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| 2/3/2008 10:18:15 AM |
just wondering |
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metu
Mansfield, TX
age: 46 online now!
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From another point of view......I think that they have lost me...........
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| 2/3/2008 10:25:55 AM |
just wondering |
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garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48
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I'm with you on that one metu! I haven't lost a thing....they lost me!
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| 2/3/2008 10:32:24 AM |
just wondering |
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lars38
Silvis, IL
age: 38
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metu,thats probably the best way of looking at it. Katie,I didnt think you were bashing.Like I said you make some really good points but when you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with isnt that the one?
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| 2/3/2008 11:05:47 AM |
just wondering |
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tedric
Anchor Point, AK
age: 67
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In a very short three years I'll be 70 ~ twice the age of most of you who have replied here, so let's agree that I have twice the experience in the search for "The One".
When I was 17 I fell in love with a beautiful little Irish girl. Her name is Dianne, and I've thought about her almost everyday since I left her to join the Navy 50 years ago. Three quarters of my life has been spent looking for her in others who just never seem to 'measure up' to her qualities ~ she is "The One".
She's old now, as old as me. Her skin sags, her face is wrinkled. Her hair is the color rusted silver; her eyes have lost the color of the sky. Her ways have changed, too ~ so much so that we would have nothing whatsoever in common any longer, but she is "The One" and I have never doubted it because no one has ever been able to take her place.
Maybe all of you are right. Maybe there shouldn't ever be "The One" because, if we lose her/him, we'll have to spend the rest of our life in a vain pursuit of something that will never be again ~ and that's a piss poor way to live out our years.
So, it would seem beneficial to the wellbeing of our future commitment to another if we simply ignore the concept of "The One" and concentrate on "The Next"...
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| 2/3/2008 11:09:47 AM |
just wondering |
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elaine47
Petersburg, IN
age: 47
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Call me old fashioned but i believe that there is only one! It just may not be the one you thought it was.
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| 2/3/2008 11:12:06 AM |
just wondering |
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katiescarlett72
Dallas, TX
age: 35
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Like I said you make some really good points but when you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with isnt that the one?
That's certainly what I thought when I married my ex LOL
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| 2/3/2008 11:26:26 AM |
just wondering |
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lars38
Silvis, IL
age: 38
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thats the samed way i felt about my ex to Katie,guess we can just chalk it up to another lesson learned.Tedric ,i know what you mean there was someone long before i met my ex that I still believe was the one .Even after 18yrs i still wonder she always seems to pop somewhere.
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