SUM have heard this Story,FOR those who haven't Read PLS,IT's LongTY

3/1/2008 9:37:27 AM	SUM have heard this Story,FOR those who haven't Read PLS,IT's LongTY
ayeshah Albuquerque, NM age: 30	It's normal for any two people to not find themselves feeling exactly the same. Funny thing about love THOU and how it changes you, See this is a little of what I've been going through. the story's starts in the middle sort of and some what at the beginning as well as all over the place so decode it if it's not clear. For me it is,so here it is..., I was pursued, chased relentlessly, for a good long while,maybe that's just how it seemed to me, I was courted and treated like a lady a queen. I got phone calls and gifts ,poetry was done up in my honor and words of love was spoken many many times, I was promised a life time of happiness and it seemed for a while everything "He" told was to be true. I mean every thing, He didn't boast or brag or act all hard or anything like that ,"HE" was the perfect gentlemen. well long story short I took a trip. (here is where it gets silly crazy and stupid on both ends mainly mines though, cuz all the signals where there). I'm at the airport. (fast-forward some) Slowly I close my notebook and look out the window of the plane. I watch the clouds as I say a silent prayer for this damn thing not to crash with me on it and or in it either.i am terrified of height's and I just wish I was already on the ground. I smile thou and look out the window some more trying to concur my fear. I think I'm worth it, He's worth it, I got to be positive. I laugh to myself cuz I'm thinking of the last time we talked and it was funny that We made so many promises and he was so excited, he vowed to always be mines and take care of me to love me for me no matter what.. Damn He always had me laughing. He was a good guy for the most part a great friend so far. now I'm taking it a step further. We knew what was going to happen and we knew too that this was something we both wanted, from friends to lovers and more than just that we had already talked about planning a future together as man and wife. I close my eyes and fall asleep. I opened my eyes a hour later, to see what was going on. The stewardess tell me," I just wanted to tell you that it's time to go we've landed". Contined on Reply Part #2 of this since it wont let me add more words here to this sotry Please read it. TY!
3/1/2008 9:39:09 AM	SUM have heard this Story,FOR those who haven't Read PLS,IT's LongTY
ayeshah Albuquerque, NM age: 30	I try to get up and forget my seat belts on, I than take that off and laugh at myself I grab my carry on bag and follow the crowd off of the plane. I walk down the hall and out the terminal and as soon as I step into his site he picks me up and kisses me I think I actually ran into his arms I don't member which one happen 1st, We than proceed to walk out the airport together to hale a cab. He smiles at me and I smile back but we hardly say anything and I don't know why I'm so shy now when I told him so much about me. He ask me how was the flight and how did I feel, I tell him it was OK and how scared I was but yet I still got a window seat. I 'm fine I say, now that we are together.He kisses me and I feel even better, He's so dang tall I got to look up at him like I'm looking at a giant tree.I feel so small next to him and I ain't that short lol or skinny by far.I like when he picks me up and kisses me I feel safe with him so far. The cab comes and we get inside , as soon as the directions are given and the doors are closed we go at each other kissing and touching like crazy. I should of worn a skirt. we start to talk after we get are lips unlocked and he's animated as he talks to me and all I can do is watch his lips I talk back but honestly I don't even remember what i said if I even said anything at all. I'm in lust with this man right now, his size his body his mmmmmm. We're at his pad and he gets out after paying the cabby than opens my door for me like he did at the airport. We walk up his steps and in to his house and from there I stayed a weekend it was cool but we mostly stayed in his room. I made something for him to eat while I was there when he wanted me to other than that He had cater to me. and I do mean catered...., Long story short we did all that we had said we was going to do and more. It was fun yet funny how, We did argue the night before I had to leave and than the next day I really had no words, so I pretty much said nothing. I got on my plane at the end of the weekend Rendezvous..., You I came home and went to work than cooked for my children watched some TV and almost or around 5-6 hours later I got a call, He left a message cussing me out. He even admitted to C( checking my email and reading a email I'd gotten from CJ a wonderful friend of mines who I've know at least 2 3 yrs now maybe not that long lol, the email was old,Way way old. Well That's when it went down hill from there people.The arguing, the dis-trust,the lies and secrets, the stories and the emails from other woman,It went on and on, every time we talked we fought about one thing or another And the biggest problem of them all was,I found out I was pregnant. Yup it took almost a month to confirm but sure enough I was pregnant!I told him of course and He at first seem excited,thrilled not to mention super happy, But the fighting just wouldn't let up,Than The accusations started that I was cheating than I started accusing him too,Well I started to change for him doing things I'd never done for another man, I let him persuade me I should say cuz well,I'm not into cyber or phone sex, nor do I take nakkies on or even offline I can't say I never did (take naked pics) the others naw MAN!anyhow I long ago decide-I didn't want to do it anymore, since my last Ex used it to cheat on me and watched our video while he did it! I was feeling useless and just bad all around like I'm "Not" good enough for him",Crazy huh?!, I felt if I changed He'd love me yet I post and always say I wanted someone to love me for me, I couldn't read his mind but Nether did we really talk anymore, We used to always be on the same wave lengths,(or so it seemed) finishing each other sentences and such, or not saying nothing but "yup" and We'd know what the other was gonna say or thought.CRAZY? (Part # 3 on Reply please Continue Thanks for ya time and for reading this)>
3/1/2008 9:39:22 AM	SUM have heard this Story,FOR those who haven't Read PLS,IT's LongTY
ayeshah Albuquerque, NM age: 30	I know), Well since than I stopped getting as many calls,I stopped getting gifts&gifs and I stopped getting emails or little love notesin Fact HE STOPPED)We hardly said or say I love you since I got back and He didn't even ask how I was since finding out he knocked me up. I too am guilty of not calling or taking that special time to talk like we used to. I talk on-line at work or even in class to friends and family,I even text and call friends and family when I get my breaks, but I don't bother him anymore,I was told in a text that I was turning him off with all the DRAMA I was causing,The last time he called, he said to have an abortion. That was it for me, That little word was all it took, He kept saying in 9mos he wasn't going to be there I should say he was insinuating that "He" wasn't going to be there, I already saw all the emails and text he sent to other's well a few other ladies, As well as the lil love notes and graphics on their pages, But I was told I didn't see what I saw and I was told I don't know shit or what I'm talking About, Oh not to mention I am supposedly the only one getting emails and stuff, But I saw with my own eyes myself that he was professing the same thing's he'd once said to me. Sending the exact same gifs to me and emails to many others and on-line pretending he wasn't on. BASICALLY avoiding me. It became too much, The Internet to me is a form of cheating well it's another way to cheat I should say (if you use it to date other ppl knowing you got someone it's cheating!),Specially when that's all you two have and If you know ya suppose to be man then you know how he talks and acts and such.if he's already a flirt or a lair than you know too what he's up to and how he works. RIGHT? Well he kept asking me to say it's over, that if I didn't want him to tell him so.(God how I wanted him) He kept on and on saying He wasn't going to be there not in so many words but You know we ladies know. we should follow our woman interwision, I felt he's not here now so why not just let him move on and Me too?, All we do is bicker and stuff anyhow, so why not let him go to find his happiness, and besides I'm not all bad, If I let him tell it I'm the worst and if that's the case WTF was he doing with some one like me anyways? oh well life goes on! Ya'll know me those that's my true friends. I do like to have fun and I'm not this big DRAMA queen I somehow became once me and him hooked up, Love isn't for suckers. I just see it's not for me , well I used to think that, But My mind is started to change to that positive lil ole me YOU all hate&love. I wont go into detail but lets just say I am not looking for love cuz I am already loved! even if "HE" doesn't love me, I love myself and I have too many other friends and family to love me with my flaws and all, I am loved for many reason again I wont go into it but I am also cherished and I am not lonely by far, I have my life to lead and so does he, So I guess it's all for the best. RIGHT? You know what used to hurt me was that "HE" was con-finding in these other ladies, that he was talking out OUR problems to them instead of me, That he built a relationship with them(it didn't have to be sexually) He was sharing with them his secrets and stuff like he used to do with me and Silly me I'd of rather my man did cheat on me then to fall in love that way, For the grown folks who really know what I'm TRYING to say. LOL Anyhow I am not venting because I should of finished reading the signs "He" was showing and He's not all bad He just can't comment to one woman. Maybe it was just me "HE" couldn't commit to, who knows.., I wont pass blame even though I did just that a sec ago, I take my share of it not working and I hope that "HE" really finds what He's looking for, I would say I'm sorry that it wasn't me, But I'm not a sorry person and I think maybe it's for the best,They say you always miss&want what you got when it's gone but I really never had him like I once thought I did,So how can I miss what we never had or anything else, Beside great sex? I have found my self(AGAIN) in this. And I found love.,So I am alright.I am a gift and I am cherished I am honored and I am adored. I am loved and respect so why cry anymore? Why hurt,WHY let myself "again" I should say. When I can heal and bloom once more?I am BLOOMING! Tell me what do you all think I should have done and be bluntly honest, I don't mean talk all messed up to me but tell me what do you think we both could of done? Therapy session is now in session any-One ready to give some real advise and some REAL talk? lol speak to me I'm all ears! P.S. I REALLY DON'T WANT ANYONE TO SAY I TOLD U SO AND YA KNOW WHO YOU ARE TOO. ALSO I HAD TO WRITE AND GET THIS OFF MY MIND MY HEART AND MY CHEST, CUZ UNLESS I DIDN'T HOW WAS I MYSELF GONNA MOVE ON OR EVER LET ANOTHER MAN LOVE ME? SO I DID AND I AM LETTING GO! TY4READING! Always me Ayeshah
3/2/2008 6:44:37 PM	SUM have heard this Story,FOR those who haven't Read PLS,IT's LongTY
forestrose Calgary, AB age: 55	Well, I read your very long saga, and really, I don't know what to say. I would have written in my journal, not on a public forum, but whatever works for you, I guess. I hope it helped you to write it all out, hope it helps you understand what all happened. When you went to meet him, you had great expectations based on your communications but then after the lust wore off, the courting games were no longer needed, and it turned ugly. Your self esteem seems intact, as in the end, you are feeling loved, and good about yourself. Chalk it up as an experience. Life has many of them. I don't want to end negatively, but I absolutely cannot understand why you would allow yourself to get pregnant. You say he got you pregnant. Both partners are responsible for birth control, but personally, as a woman, I always took charge of that myself, as it was my body that would conceive, carry, and birth a child.
3/11/2008 9:50:29 PM	SUM have heard this Story,FOR those who haven't Read PLS,IT's LongTY
darkwriter Sacramento, CA age: 39	It sounds to me like a classic case of he just conned and manipulated the living daylights out of you, girl! More gently -you were in love with an ideal, not him in my opinion and it sounds like you weren't too scarred so that's good. But any man who tells you to kill an unborn child -especially his own - should just go and f*ck himself!
3/18/2008 9:49:55 PM	SUM have heard this Story,FOR those who haven't Read PLS,IT's LongTY
ayeshah Albuquerque, NM age: 30	I agree with you and Ty for that, i am doing and feeling great btw, how r you and everyone on here too?, Again TY i needed that!

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