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3/9/2008 7:17:36 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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burnkitty
Fayetteville, AR
age: 32
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I was working late last night, as the KJ in a karaoke bar, when three questions continually ran through my mind. This was one...
A drunken woman came into our bar, and started to cause problems, as she had done on many occasions. Still, we allowed her in again and again. But this night she went(as far as I am concerned) too far. I gauge her about forty-five years old, with a heavy German accent. She asked me to play something, but her words were beyond incomprehensible. As a rule of my own, if you can't speak, you can't sing. However, she didn't seem to have a problem pronouncing the word,"Faggot" as she flipped me off. That is a big get-the-hell-out in my book. I tell her to leave, so she rushes to the bar and sits down. I told the bartender not to serve her and to have her leave. She still refused. So then the doorman becomes involved. Then she reached the point of no return when she took a swing at him. Nailed him too. That is when me and the doorman picked her up and threw her out. I don't mean that figuratively. She saw some air time. A lady, some complete stranger, tried to help her get where she was going, but the woman swang violent at her too. As she left, I pondered on the use of the closed-fist policy in this situation. See, the open-palm is a philosophy that practices selflessness. When one helps others in their time of need, it shows a favorable character, and thus gives an example for others to follow. The downfall is that people have often taken advantage of those who practice this philosophy strictly. If someone else is always going to bail them out, why should one aspire for anything on their own? The closed-fist philosophy is one of strength, doing things which force another person to better themselves. This may include not assisting someone in need when it is plain to see how they can help themselves, or being horribly critical to someone so that they are modivated to prove you wrong. This philosophy may seem evil to some, but the difference is in the application. The fundemental flaw to using it strictly is that when you one day need help, you may be remembered for those actions, or lack of actions. I know in Christianity, Christ teaches the turning of the cheek, but I myself believe that there is a time to take a stand. To draw a line. This far, no further. So for those who practice religions and those who don't, what are your veiws on these philosophies? And do you think I could have improved the way I had dealt with my aforementioned situation? Don't be afraid to be very critical of me if you wish.
[Edited 3/9/2008 8:30:31 AM]
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3/9/2008 8:30:23 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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krupa1
Abilene, TX
age: 39
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I think you acted completely approriately. Some people simply refuse to be civil and there is indeed a time and a place to give them some air time.
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3/9/2008 11:03:18 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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skunkbreath
Saint James, MO
age: 88
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It seems that i have seen this post elswhere...The title is a good topic of consideration, however, the "perspective" of the incident is one sided, and you appear to be looking for justification for your actions. What you did , you did, and up till now have gotten away with it.
The establishment and employees involved may be open for civil suit if not criminal prosecution. You all pushed the incident to the point of physical contact and battery, who commited the first physical act is not clear, but i suspect that the doorman commited battery and the drunk responded. And once the patron had been asked to leave and they were not being disruptive, the police should have been called to deal with it.
By introducing this story looking for justification as you have done, you have obsfucated the more important and interesting topic within the title.
You can get someone to agree on anything with you. People can rationalize and justify all sorts of perverse behavior, indeed, the drunk thinks she was in the right and probably has friends who will massage her ego by agreeing with her.
If you are still looking for justification of what happened, then you know something about what you did was not right. Remember, justification of evil compounds the evil.
It is not as black and white as you define it.
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3/9/2008 1:56:58 PM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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curiousone2
Springfield, IL
age: 41 online now!
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In the great depression, the government convinced the people, that a "certain" group of people were sucking up all the resources, they were taking JOBS away from the hard working people, and so the government convinced them that the "other" people, needed jobs someplace else, they argued that "those" people were a risk to their way of Life.
The government loaded up large groups of "those" people and shipped them off. The PEOPLE in this case were the german People, that blindly accepted, that the Jewish people were a threat to their way of life,
It was also the Americans that allowed the Japanese Americans to be put into interrment camps.
It is also the Americans that are as we speak wanting the Illeagals rounded up,
and it also the same people that are walling up the palestinians into new concentration camps in gaza.
It is the Russian Prisoners that were arrested for asking too many questions, and the people prosecuted under the Patriot act being whisked away to secret prisons in foreign countries, because they WILL tolerate torture, because theya re afraid of us, because they have been THOSE people.
My problem with your little scenario, is One YOU work with drunks, expect drunken behavior, and remember they pay your salary,
also your assumption that what she was saying is automatically worth less than yours. Im not saying she was right, and violence is never right, but why not call the po po, thats what they get paid for.
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3/9/2008 5:27:15 PM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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burnkitty
Fayetteville, AR
age: 32
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Skunk, I don't need to justify myself, though I do understand the critisim. Everyone loves to believe they are in the right, no matter how a situation went down. True that. In his defense however, the doorman in question only tried to usher her out when she swung. Curious, the fact she had a german accent is only a discription, not an account of her character. I do understand your critique on this being a bar setting though, and I appreciate both of your opinions. Still, I'd like to know how one should decide the use of both the open-palm and the closed-fist philosopies, not just as they apply here, but as they apply in life. Your thoughts?
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3/10/2008 5:18:19 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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stringsvrs
Syracuse, NY
age: 51 online now!
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Happy Monday Morning Sisters and Brothers All
Many people can find much laughter in hearing an intoxicated individual sing.
It is a form of comedy. Karaoke does not sound like an American Idol...etc...
Usher out infers that the doorman placed hands upon an unwilling person in need of their assistance; invoking rebellion.
All of you are guilty of Oppressing that lady; Forcing your Wills over hers.
Naughty, naughty.
Open Hand Technique :
One hand under an arm, one around a waist of a willing individual in need of support to stand, or walk; Who is feeble and not able to assert the power of their own accord.
Closed Fist Technique :
To be used in the application of kneading bread dough.
Turning The Cheek Technique :
Let the drunkard sing and have fun too, that is the purpose of entertainment.
Remove your ego from the situation; if you are unable to do this then take a vote from all the patrons to allow a performance or not.
If not, then allow the person who is drunk and voted out to sit at the bar and listen to others have all the fun. It can be a sobering effect.
In Peace and Love
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3/10/2008 5:27:08 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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burnkitty
Fayetteville, AR
age: 32
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Good advice, Strings. I believe your points are quite valid, as is your critisism. Now, do you believe there are times when one must make a stand with the philosophy of the closed-fist? Not for my specific example, but in general? Would you always help a person in need even when they could visible help themselves were they modivated to do so? What is your stance on this issue?
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3/10/2008 5:48:36 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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stringsvrs
Syracuse, NY
age: 51 online now!
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Brother Burn
burnkitty
Fayetteville, AR
age: 32 online now!
Good advice, Strings. I believe your points are quite valid, as is your critisism. Now, do you believe there are times when one must make a stand with the philosophy of the closed-fist? Not for my specific example, but in general? Would you always help a person in need even when they could visible help themselves were they modivated to do so? What is your stance on this issue?
My Brother, please be aware of the fact that I am totally against all forms violence.
Yet I do realize it to be necessary at times. Deciding the times to use it is very controversial.
I do not believe that our country's military should be any other place than in this country,
unless they are there providing engineering assistance and such. A non-violent stance period. If war comes to our shore then we should deal with it.
If an individual came to a picnic or family gathering and was being violent towards any of the participants I would not hesitate in the least to use Closed Fist Technique. The amount of distribution will depend on the individual. Hopefully I will not lose control of my emotions and .....
In Pieces I Love also
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3/10/2008 5:55:30 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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burnkitty
Fayetteville, AR
age: 32
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Totally got you there, Strings. I acknowledge that I myself have a difficult time finding the elusive happy medium. I ponder it still...
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3/10/2008 6:08:33 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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stringsvrs
Syracuse, NY
age: 51 online now!
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Brother Burn
Totally got you there, Strings. I acknowledge that I myself have a difficult time finding the elusive happy medium. I ponder it still...
The Elusive Medium you are searching for is to apply the distribution of Closed Fist Technique with Love, my brother. To remove any anger from your spirit during the application. Very difficult to do unless you are a Shaolin Monk.
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3/10/2008 10:01:04 AM |
To practice the open-palm and/or the closed-fist... |
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skunkbreath
Saint James, MO
age: 88
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I agree with strings...!...he has the knowledge, experience, wisdom and skills to deal with such situations.
Again, we only have a heavily biased perspective as witness to the incident. I have to question the objectivity of one who would allow a "finger" or cursing out to upset them.
your label of "closed fist": Is that the same as tough love?...Or are you mixing tough love and "imposing ego needs with physical force"?..It takes experience, wisdom and skills to appropriately use "tough love", otherwise it is nothing more than violence to satisfy the ego..
If you wanted to apply tough love to the situation in question, being arrested by the police would effectively get her attention and that would have had consequences that persisted untill she sobered up! It might have led to some sort of therapy if she has an addiction.
Of course, i am assuming that the officers responding to your request would not be thugs in uniform, satisfying their own ego needs by imposing punitive force justified by rationalizations of that type mind.
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