| 3/20/2008 8:29:00 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
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WHAT HAPPENED GUYS?????? 
I know you hate reading long posts -- but help me here. What did I do wrong?
I had once what I called "The Perfect Date."
I used to live in a trendy neighborhood, where you can walk to shops, restaurants, theaters and bars. I met this guy online, and we agreed to meet for coffee.
I was running late that day, so I emailed and asked if we could go somewhere that served food, because I wasn't going to have time to have dinner before meeting him at 7. We agreed on a meeting place.
We arrived at the meeting place, then walked down to the "Ave". I told him it could be a quick place. He saw a window with tablecloths and candles, a little European cafe. I said "Oh... that will be a bit pricey -- I'm game though, we can go dutch for sure. I just need to eat."
The waiter asked if we wanted any wine. Since we were going dutch, I said sure. He ordered a bottle. Dinner was great. Conversation even greater. He said he had never discussed such subjects. His body language was leaning into mine. There was lots of eye contact.
It was now 9pm and because it was snowing quite heavily, and it looked like the staff wanted to leave, we agreed it was time to go. When the bill came, he INSISTED on paying. I said, "No way... this wasn't part of the deal!!" He insisted again. So I let him.
[NOTE: I never let people pay on the 1st date - I figure why should YOU have to pay to find out if it's gonna work out or not...]
I let him pay because I figured we'd be seeing each other again with the way the date had gone...
Once out on the street, he said, "You're not ready to go home yet are you?" I said "NO! Let's go walking..." So we walked up and down the "Ave" in the snowfall. He saw a coffee shop and said "Let's duck in here for some hot chocolate."
We sat in the coffee shop talking until they announced it was closing time. We talked and laughed the entire time. We walked together in the snowfall to where our cars were. I approached my car, reached up to hug him -- and even give him a kiss for such a wonderful, wonderful date.
It was like his whole energy just shifted in front of my eyes. He turned his cheek to the other side. So I ended up kissing his cheek.
Our cars were covered with snow, and usually in that climate, guys either help you clean off the snow or offer to just do it for you while you wait in the car. He sat in his car and watched me, to make sure I could drive away.
I never heard from him again. He refused to answer emails. And the bozo was one of those guys with NO picture on his profile. I knew he was in management (not that this matters...)
Ev 
[Edited 3/20/2008 8:32:56 PM]
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| 3/20/2008 8:37:17 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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You did nothing wrong... Don't sweat it. Sometimes people are just flaky like that. One minute a person could be on cloud nine, yet the other person has other motives.
He could be married or has a girlfriend.
[Edited 3/20/2008 8:37:58 PM]
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| 3/20/2008 8:41:32 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 44
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Chalk it up to another good date! You had a good time and he did too. He just wasn't into you. Just move on and keep moving forward. Next! Eventually you will find the one for you.
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| 3/20/2008 8:43:11 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
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You know bestman... that was what I thought. He was married... and he liked our date so much it scared him! Maybe I was SO fun he was afraid he'd want more...
We were having a GREAT time! He was blown away at our conversations... he said he's never had anyone make him think about things, and things he took for granted he hadn't discussed in years...
Oh well... such is life. I am just so REAL that people that do things like that just floor me. Just be HONEST... ya know???
Thanks for the input!
Ev
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| 3/20/2008 8:47:04 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
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Ok Dutchboy... what I don't get is this -- how could you have that sort of a date and have someone NOT be into you?
Why would he buy dinner? Why the walk? Why the going for coffee? That was a 6 hour date for someone "not into you."
I was not torn up by it (it happened a year ago) It was his choice. I just don't get the behavior. I figured at the very LEAST we would have been friends with that sort of rapport.
I have been out with guys that there are no chemistry, but we ended up really good friends and still do things...
Ev
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| 3/20/2008 8:48:12 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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[Edited 3/20/2008 9:27:54 PM]
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| 3/20/2008 8:48:48 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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vitruviangal
Madison, WI
age: 47
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did you check to see if he had an extra little finger? Might have been an alien?
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| 3/20/2008 8:54:25 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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lust4love
Atco, NJ
age: 37
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What can I say Canadians are flaky.
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| 3/20/2008 9:00:29 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 44
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Soul, I don't get it either. People are hard to figure sometimes.
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| 3/20/2008 9:11:34 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
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Lust4Love... well he was the Canadian. Guess that is why I was floored then -- is that your explanation? Because I am from the States? Don't date Canadian guys?
Ok.. will try that... thanks!
Ev
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| 3/20/2008 9:14:57 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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craftygirl002
Tacoma, WA
age: 39
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Maybe the kiss was too much too soon.
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| 3/20/2008 9:21:34 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
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And yep Bestman...
I have chatted with SEVERAL guys that we just had a great rapport, great online chemistry -- heck, if I based the relationship on how things went via online and the telephone later -- I would have had my bags packed for my honeymoon and my first meeting would have been at the ALTER!! LOL
Then you meet the guy - and NO FREAKIN' WAY!!! Or ZERO chemistry. Or you can't even reconcile the guy sitting in front of you with the guy you were chatting with!
They smell bad, or their energy is just really weird... or something. I am generally not real superficial, but sometimes... you just gotta be.
I met one guy that I felt exactly this way about. Our conversations were amazing! I never saw a picture of him though. He told me he was a financial investments guy (sort of like you). I drove all the way down from Seattle to meet him in Portland!
I get to the restaurant we are meeting at, and I am walkng through the parking lot and just happen to walk past this windowed panel van with multi-color primer patches, and I peeked inside and YIKES... serious garbarge dump (serious dump). I thought YIKES... who drives that??
I get inside and the guy is wearing clothes from what looked like Value Village (not that I have a problem with that -- but they were something we would have worn in the late 70s. And he had this horrid smell... not aftershave, not soap... some just weird smell. I had never seen his picture.
And guess who's van that was? Financial investor?
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| 3/20/2008 9:24:03 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
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The kiss was too soon? And he would just shift his energy over that?
The kiss was going to be a sweet NICE kiss... not a hot passionate one!! ROFL. I wasn't quite ready for that one.
Ev
[Edited 3/20/2008 9:24:34 PM]
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| 3/20/2008 9:24:18 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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@ crafty
i met a girl on DH about a month ago and showed her a really good time that she kissed me afterwards on the cheek. trust me, a kiss doesn't turn a guy off. then she got mad because she saw me in the forums posting  the pot can't call the kettle black
[Edited 3/20/2008 9:28:13 PM]
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| 3/20/2008 9:26:34 PM |
To the Guys - What Went Wrong on This Date? |
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
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Well we don't KNOW if he's married -- we just came to that conclusion Bestman!!!
That's the RATIONAL answer. HE was a healthy, hot-blooded male, and I could tell he would have been a passionate one as well...
Ev
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