| 4/17/2008 6:30:16 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 48
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It's bound to happen, so let's just get it over with!! 
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| 4/17/2008 7:09:07 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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silkpanties53
Baytown, TX
age: 54
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Farmer's Bull
Farmer: I've got a bull that's right off it duties.
It's got to service 300 cows and all it wants to do is eat.
Vet: Give it one of these little pills in its feed and stand back.
So 2 weeks later the farmer comes back to the vet:
Farmer: WOW, what a pill! I gave the pill to the bull like you said and
POW! It jumped over the gate, ran down the lane and f**ked 70 cows in
30 minutes.
Vet: So, what's the problem - why have you come back?
Farmer: Well, I was wondering, I am meeting this 18-year-old tonight -
could you give me one of those tablets? I'm not as young as I was.
Vet: Oh, no! Sorry, it's too strong but I will give you a quarter of a
pill.
So the farmer takes the pill and goes off to prepare for his date.
Several days later, the farmer goes back to the Vet.
Farmer: Hello, Vet. Wonderful. 40 Times.
Vet: So, why have you come back?
Farmer: Ah! I need something for my wrist - she never showed up!
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| 4/17/2008 7:12:41 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 48
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THANKS Silk! I just spewed coffee!
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| 4/17/2008 7:15:04 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
age: 56
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O U C H !!!
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| 4/17/2008 8:02:13 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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cincin3500
Lapeer, MI
age: 37
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Now thats funny...
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| 4/17/2008 10:31:47 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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twohawks
Bothell, WA
age: 70
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Ok.....My turn.....
This farmers wife went to the doctor one day and told him that her husband wasn't performing in the bedroom anymore because he couldn't "rise to the occasion". The doctor goes through his case of sample drugs and hands her a bottle of pills. He tells her to slip two of them to her husband and everything should be ok.
The woman arrived back at the farm and thought she would slip a couple of the them to the bull to see his reaction. Ht bulls reaction was more than she expected. He jumped out of his pen, ran to the field and serviced the whole herd, then jumped the fence and headed for the neighboring farm to service that herd. The woman threw the pills away.
About a week later the woman is in town again and the ran into the doctor. He asked how the pills had worked. She related the story nof the bull to him. He said: "Well that a new, powerful drug on the market and there hasn't been a lot of testing on it...so what did you do with the pills?"
"I tossed them down the well!"
"Oh my God! You aren't drinking that water are you?"
"Hell no! We haven't been able to get the pump handle down for a week!"
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| 4/17/2008 2:34:52 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 48
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LMAO!!
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| 4/19/2008 3:27:46 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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judit0606
Big Stone Gap, VA
age: 52
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Silk & Twohawks!!
Unbelieveably, funny...
Here's to you both!!
Sincerely,
Jan
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| 4/19/2008 3:06:45 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 48
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A man walks up to a farm house and knocks on the door. When the wife answers the door, the man asks her if she knew how to have sex. The wife slams the door. The man knocks again and when she opens the door, he asks the same question again. Again, she slams the door.
That evening, she tells her farmer husband. He gets mad and decides to hide behind the door with his shotgun the next day. Sure enough, the next day, the man knocks on their door again. This time, when he asks the woman if she knows how to have sex, she smiles and says "Yes"!
"GOOD"! the man replies, "Give it to your husband so he will stay away from my wife"!!!
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| 4/19/2008 4:13:24 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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cowboy61
Tucker, GA
age: 47
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What does a puppy and a near-sited gynocoligist have in common? A Wet Nose
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| 4/19/2008 4:31:28 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 48
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LMAO Cowboy!!!!
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| 4/19/2008 5:13:49 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 48
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There were two farmers that have been friends for years. One had a teen aged son, the other had a teenaged daughter. Eventually, the two kids started dating. All was well until the girls father went to his friends house one day and said that the two kids had to stop dating. "Well, why"? Asked his friend. "Because, this morning I saw his name written in the snow, in my yard"!
The boys father said that it is common for young men to pee their names in the snow and to not worry about it. The girls father replies, "Don't you think that I know my own daughters handwriting"????????
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| 4/19/2008 7:27:46 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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cowboy61
Tucker, GA
age: 47
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You beat me With That joke Vet! LMAO
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| 4/19/2008 8:07:30 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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twohawks
Bothell, WA
age: 70
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This is about the greatest Buffalo Stampeed ever held:
One day, Irving, the head Buffalo, was talking with his subordinates. "Gentlemen...we need to plan the greatest Buffalo stampeed this country has ever seen. Go to your respective herds and tell them about this then bring them here and we will do this."
A month went by and the herds started to congregate at the location. Within a month there were over a million Buffalo en masse. Irving sent word to all the Buffalo that on Wednesday at the sign of high noon his tail would go straight in the air signaling the stampeed to start.
Wednesday morning all the buffalo were ready. At high noon Irving's tail went straight in the air and the stampeed was on! A million Buffalo thundering across the plains and raising an enormous cloud of dust! The sound of it was heard miles away.
Fifteen minutes into the stampeed Irving stopped dead in his tracks! There was a tremendous pile up of rear enders with all the Buffalo! One of the other lead Buffalo's limped over and asked:
"Irving...why in the hell did you stop like that??"
Irving responded: "I thought I heard a discouraging word!"
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| 4/20/2008 7:54:17 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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raven622
Fairview Heights, IL
age: 49
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| 4/20/2008 9:35:36 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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easttxcowboy45
Pickton, TX
age: 48
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A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."
The farmer said, "That's once." 
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| 4/21/2008 10:51:52 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 48
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LMAO!!!!!
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| 4/21/2008 10:56:48 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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twohawks
Bothell, WA
age: 70
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An oldie....but a goodie!
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| 4/21/2008 11:06:34 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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twohawks
Bothell, WA
age: 70
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Hillary and her driver were driving along in farm country. They came around a corner and there was an old cow standing right in the middle of the road. The driver slammed on the breaks, but it was too late. The limo hit the cow and killed it. Hillary looked around and saw the farmhouse up on a hill. She told the driver to go up there and tell the people what had happened. He left the car and was gone for over two hours. When he came back his clothes were messy, he had a ham in his hands and his face was covered with lipstick kiss marks. Hillary asked: "What happened and why were you gone so long?"
"Well Miss hillary it's like this. I went up there and told those good folks that I was your driver and I had just killed the old cow. They invited me in...fixed me a great supper and his two daughters smothered me in kisses!"
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| 4/21/2008 11:28:59 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 48
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LMAO!!!! Too funny!
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| 4/22/2008 6:25:24 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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raven622
Fairview Heights, IL
age: 49
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| 5/14/2008 8:15:38 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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wilbur35
Latrobe, PA
age: 74
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i will probaby mess this one up.a city slickers car broke down in the country,so he asked the farmer if he could stay the night.the farmer said o.k. but you have to sleep with my daughter.the next morning the guy woke up his male member was hurting like hell.he asked the daughter what happened.she said i was playing with that thing between your legs and it spit all over me so i broke it in half.
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| 5/14/2008 10:44:35 PM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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huskertomboy
Coalinga, CA
age: 52
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On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said....'Sir,do you realize your wife fell out of the car miles back? To which the farmer replied,'Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!'
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| 5/15/2008 10:05:41 AM |
Farmers Daughter Jokes..... |
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huskertomboy
Coalinga, CA
age: 52
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An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.
After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the East coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them. The farmer simply replied, "They're all looking to get married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want,"
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion. "Well" said the man, " She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...but pigeon-toed." The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went. "Well," the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell, cross-eyed." The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!" So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified, the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine.
He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents. "Well," explained the farmer, "she was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell... pregnant when you met her."
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